I said that because I thought I wasn't seeing him again. From his end, if he's inviting me over on Christmas Eve after I got him a gift, getting me something in return is a really obvious and simple thing.
TL/DR: The person writing the post is a 20-year-old male and has been in a relationship for two years with a 20-year-old female. His girlfriend's mother is kicking her out and they have until Sunday to find a solution. The person writes that he wants to help his girlfriend but is not ready to move out yet and the cost of living is high in their current location. He is struggling with what to do and feels like it's his duty to help his girlfriend, but is unsure if he should move out with her. He also mentions his dislike for his girlfriend's mother and father.
What future are you both expecting together? Have you actually discussed it? Is one of you wanting to online in the others country permanently? One of you wants to be forever away from your friends and family? With possible future children?
She’s got dollar signs kerchinging in her eyes and now she’s mapping out your future for you. And you don’t need to figure out what to with your money, she’ll take care of that pesky little issue.
Is he depressed, did something happen 6 months ago to cause this issue? I would question his mental health as this is sometimes one of the first visible symptoms of depression, lack of overall hygiene.
Don't push her on it. She knows everyone disapproves so you aren't telling her anything she doesn't already know. She's just going to get more defensive. The first thing I think you should do is have a flat meeting and lay don some ground rules about how often Useless Dude (or any overnight guests) can come over/spend the night. If some roommates are adamant about not even being in the same room as him, you guys are going to have to sort out how often and how long he can visit. If anything, check your lease because I would not be surprised if there are limiting provisions on guests (because they could end up with tenant's rights and you do NOT want that). Second, he doesn't get a key. If he has one, get it back. As for you friend, the best you can do is be supportive (of her, not the relationship) and expect this to be the pattern (break up/make up) for the foreseeable future. Limit your conversations about Dude if that works for you. Be noncommittal when you need to. If he does/says something shitty in front of you, call him out.
To me it feels like you're the safety net so he's not alone in event he makes pass at his female friend and she rejects him.
Does his friend know you two are in relationship? Because this behavior feels like he's trying to hide it in front of her. Maybe he told her that you two are just roommates or friends depending on if you two are living together or not.
It's up to you to evaluate the future of this relationship but his behavior is questionable at best.
yes, she is :/ but thank you
You suck
I said that because I thought I wasn't seeing him again. From his end, if he's inviting me over on Christmas Eve after I got him a gift, getting me something in return is a really obvious and simple thing.
Your ex is homophobic AND biphobic garbage and you should be glad he's gone.
?
TL/DR: The person writing the post is a 20-year-old male and has been in a relationship for two years with a 20-year-old female. His girlfriend's mother is kicking her out and they have until Sunday to find a solution. The person writes that he wants to help his girlfriend but is not ready to move out yet and the cost of living is high in their current location. He is struggling with what to do and feels like it's his duty to help his girlfriend, but is unsure if he should move out with her. He also mentions his dislike for his girlfriend's mother and father.
What future are you both expecting together? Have you actually discussed it? Is one of you wanting to online in the others country permanently? One of you wants to be forever away from your friends and family? With possible future children?
Yes, an open relationship isn't for me, and my husband seems to wholeheartedly agree with me.
I think you and a lot of people are right to recommend therapy for me. I will start seeing someone. Thank you for your comment.
She’s got dollar signs kerchinging in her eyes and now she’s mapping out your future for you. And you don’t need to figure out what to with your money, she’ll take care of that pesky little issue.
You’re a lottery win to her now.
That's an easy “block and move on”. He should be behaving more like an adult at his age.
You can insult people all you want, you’re still the one with a man who struggles to keep it in his plants.
My head is telling me to choose my dog, even if I'll be alone forever. But my heart is making it naked for me to choose.
Is he depressed, did something happen 6 months ago to cause this issue? I would question his mental health as this is sometimes one of the first visible symptoms of depression, lack of overall hygiene.
Don't push her on it. She knows everyone disapproves so you aren't telling her anything she doesn't already know. She's just going to get more defensive. The first thing I think you should do is have a flat meeting and lay don some ground rules about how often Useless Dude (or any overnight guests) can come over/spend the night. If some roommates are adamant about not even being in the same room as him, you guys are going to have to sort out how often and how long he can visit. If anything, check your lease because I would not be surprised if there are limiting provisions on guests (because they could end up with tenant's rights and you do NOT want that). Second, he doesn't get a key. If he has one, get it back. As for you friend, the best you can do is be supportive (of her, not the relationship) and expect this to be the pattern (break up/make up) for the foreseeable future. Limit your conversations about Dude if that works for you. Be noncommittal when you need to. If he does/says something shitty in front of you, call him out.
For starters. Good luck OP.
GET. OUT. OF THIS ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP. NOW!!!!
To me it feels like you're the safety net so he's not alone in event he makes pass at his female friend and she rejects him.
Does his friend know you two are in relationship? Because this behavior feels like he's trying to hide it in front of her. Maybe he told her that you two are just roommates or friends depending on if you two are living together or not.
It's up to you to evaluate the future of this relationship but his behavior is questionable at best.