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Birth Date: 1993-08-19
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I suggest that you respect him and don’t ask him to take you back
Some fantasy’s are better left as that.
If you watch porn, that’s often part of problems like this. If not, see a doc to check for hormonal, medication side effects, or physical issues that could cause that, see a regular or sex therapist to rule out mental health and other trauma related problems, improve nutrition and sleep, maybe try a multi vitamin for a month and see if that helps. If all else fails, you might be asexual, and that’s ok. Talk to your gf and see if sex is important to her or not, who knows she may be asexual too, and if not you can break up and look for someone who is or discuss compromises with your gf to see if you can still meet her needs with out too much stress or discomfort for you.
You are an adult. If you want to go to college and can pay for it, you can do so. Your mom has no say in it. In fact, she is trying to control you and keep you at home with her. She doesn't want you on your own and out of her hands at all. She's using religion as a weapon to keep you afraid to make your own plans and a success of your life.
Don't let her do this to you. Make your plans. You are not going to hell because you go to college. Your mother is in the wrong here.
I think your concept of “living with parents at 30” is pretty incorrect, despite everything else.
That said, the DJing and age gap would be a much bigger issue of concern for me. I won't say never date a DJ–in fact, there are a few things working in his favor. He is smart enough not to waste money on his own place when he wants to focus on his DJing business–that is more of a mark of maturity to me than your take on that. He also has another, albeit part-time, position, so he seems to be aware that he is going to have to work harder to make ends meet with two jobs if necessary. Those are good things. But how is he going about it?
Is he paying his bills and saving what money he can or else investing it in his business in a smart way? Is he “living with his parents” meaning that he lives there, but he manages his own affairs, helps them out as needed, and ultimately works as part of a family group to keep everyone afloat–or is he “living with his parents” where he mooches off of them frequently, they take care of his daily needs while he “works on his art” and smokes weed half the day?
And yeah, you're 21 and can date who you like, but 21 and 26 are often at different places in life. Are you really sure you want that?
Start recording and play the diatribes back to her. Tell her you’ve had enough and ask her what she intends to do about her abusive behavior.
People are allowed to change their minds. As long as she stops giving you shit about your own tattoos, then I can't see a problem.
You wouldn’t date a bisexual person because you think they can't be…monogamous?
But if it was all before I met my bf, then it shouldn’t really matter, right?
I’ve not been with anyone else since we started dating.
Just say “damn that sucks” and stop replying. If your friends say anything say “why would I carry on a conversation that’s clearly my ex trying to slide back in my DMs because he got dumped by the girl he left me for. I have dignity, I’m not a second choice.”
I mean clearly I’m smart enough to know, I appreciate you though ♥️ giving me good advice. I hate how men are like this
Yeah, that is the bit that really irks me. The refusal to apologize. And, yes, I hate that he repeatedly does something I’ve asked him not to do and then today he says, “Ok, I get it! I will never touch you again.” And I know that he knows that isn’t what I mean, at all. It’s like he’s twisting things and fucking with my head… and he is relentlessly willful about it. Why can’t he just ever say he is sorry and move on? Why does it always have to get to the point of causing real emotional damage? Ugh.
Get rid of this guy. He is using you.
He reminds me of the stepdad that poops everywhere and makes the kids clean it up. This is a control issue. It could be a fetish issue. He is clogging the toilet and forcing you and the kids to live with it. Then bullies you for refusing to deal with his literal shit. Ask him if this is really the hill he is willing to die on, because you will be happy to explain to anyone that will listen exactly why you're filing for divorce.
If it’s an autoimmune issue that is causing the pain, she needs a rheumatologist and biologics. These meds give people with chronic pain (due to inflammation) their life back! I’m just speculating but I know it works for RA and AS
Nope. Do not visit. Do not pass go.
Sadly I’ve read too many posts like this. Everything is going fine until someone new comes into the picture and somehow convinces the partner things aren’t good even though they start the post out w things couldn’t be better. Then listening to the strangers the relationship suffers.
One poor guy said he had been married for a decade. No fights, amazing sex and trying for kids. Wife worked and they had a new woman start w them. After becoming friends the new girl talked wife into going to a bar for girls night. Then every weekend then during the week.
He said the amazing sex used to be nightly or every other night & went to once a week to every other week until none at all. Then wife brings up opening the relationship because her new friend had one and her husband let her have sex w anyone and the husband had ED problems so he let his wife have outside sex.
Husband said no but noticed changes. Started wearing make up to work, sexier clothes, low cut tops, short dresses, going out every night staying gone till the morning she’d come home , shower and go to work & no communication at all.
Long story short she’d been having sex a random men every night. Her explanation was her friend said their marriage wouldn’t last because the wife was a virgin when they met & never partied etc and she was missing out.
Husband filed for divorce and wife realized she screwed up and tried to get him back. They divorced. He said a few years later his ex passed away from alcohol poisoning. She had caught several STDs and was drinking all the time and not eating or taking care of her self.
All of that because someone she didn’t know told her her marriage wasn’t good enough and she bought into it.
I’m not sure why some people listen to others when they know their relationship is great. But by the time they realize what’s happened the damage is done.
I think she got caught up in the gossip and they probably kept telling her how much better things would be w someone else. She probably never realized how stupid that was until she heard it come out of her own mouth but couldn’t take it back.
Y’all are both in pain and I hope it works out in the end
Lol “argumentative and masculine” what does that even mean?
Stop trying to explain it to him. Break up with him and block him. He’s literally an idiot and he’s hurting you
It very sort of selfish to hang out and go on one on one dates with you ex FWB whilst in a committed relationship- you say you'd be totally cool with it if the shoe were in the other foot but really… WOULD YOU?? I highly doubt it. Its very disrespectful to your partner to leave her to hang out alone with people you've shagged- the message is that these other are people are more important than the person you're so “committed” to- which ironically is the opposite of commitment.
I know you love him and you want to get back together, but he doesn’t want that. Continuing to do physical stuff—hell, even continuing to hang out with him, is making this more painful for you.
Tell him starting now you only get physical with your boyfriend and he has a choice to make. Then you start getting over him. I know how naked it is when your first love was so long and so serious. But you can get over it, I promise.
I didn't see where OP wrote what kind of porn they were even watching.
And to call Op is “flesh prop” is pretty gross. You don't know what her partner was thinking when he touched her. It was assault and it was wrong yes but you don't know how he views it.
You should never assume that you know someone's mind.
Lol what a fake ass story. 24 mil and you have it sitting in a bank account? You must suck at managing money and got this through an inheritance recently. I wouldn’t be working anymore if I had 24 mil, I’d go on vacation and enjoy my life. Cool flex bro
I mean they weren't going to say “surprise I've been a bad person the whole time” ?
It is just their convenient l, newly adopted sexuality! ?
This is my first thought, as a woman in perimenopause who spends a lot of time on the menopause sub.
Did it ever come up in context in a conversation.
I’m waiting for the post titled: I 42M asked my 47F to get a tummy tuck and she dumped me for a guy who loves her the way she is. What did I do wrong?
Thank you, didn’t think about bringing lube but I will probably need it
Is there a chance your friend (hopefully ex friend) is sleeping with your ex?
Yeah, stop having sex and let her leave. This is not acceptable.
Spend the money, do both. Worth it.
If you're doing a food and wine experience, maybe see if there are any VIP dinners or wine packages that you can add on. Otherwise, set aside money as a wine budget if you want some bottles to take home.
I'm sorry for your loss. Just take care of yourself. Don't worry about him. Male some small acheivable goals to get your mind off of it, day by day it will get. better
You leave her alone. You’ve already brought it up and she told you straight that she needs time and space, what good will it do to continue to bring it up? It will just prove further to her that you don’t respect her wishes.
Delete this post and hire a divorce attorney ASAP
You have no reason to feel ashamed or disappointed about the things that turn you on in porn, unless it involves the sexual exploitation of children. Many people enjoy watching porn that is a far cry from their sexual preferences and practices IRL. Straight folks watch gay and trans porn, queer folks watch straight porn, pure-vanilla types watch all sorts of kinky porn and vice versa. Feel free to reassure your GF that you are indeed heterosexual, assuming that's true. She's making a big mistake to think that you must actually want what you watch.
I don't think you can be upset with her for finding your porn, if it popped up in your search engine when she went to order from Doordash. She didn't intentionally set out to invade your privacy, and IMO she was right to express her concerns rather than keeping them a secret, even though you felt embarrassed to have to talk about it. But if she's still upset after you tell her that you have no intention or desire IRL for the fantasy stuff that visually stimulates you, gently remind her that you are Not That Guy who broke her trust in the past, that you love her and plan to remain true to her. Good luck!
I found this comment extremely validating and helpful, thank you!
Break up now. She is being honest and you need to distant yourself from her before it gets harder for you
If she were dealing with someone who I thought wouldn't get defensive, I'd agree with you wholeheartedly. Ideally, I DO agree with you. The problem is that she has already approached him sensibly like this about smaller things, like the fan, and he has been at best indifferent to her.
Honestly, I don't actually disagree with the people saying she shouldn't actually be helping him at all. He's taking advantage of her, whether deliberately or not, and none of this seems healthy. But she clearly WANTS to make a go of it. So the “playing confused” is something I learned years ago as a way of dodging people's reflexive defensiveness: it is a gentle way to approach things so that the person you're talking to has no excuse to accuse you of “coming at them” . . . if you genuinely seem confused or unsure, rather than even politely confrontational, then it lessens the odds of things getting heated, and makes them feel less put on the spot. It's just a way of keeping the conversation exactly as calm as you suggest. It's definitely not meant to be manipulative (as an autistic person I don't like sneakiness), just a way of reframing things as, “Hey, I really don't get why you're behaving this way” . . . which is actually true.
I think this is the best idea. I am a married man, and I sometimes have thoughts and curious fantasies about dating, but have never gone as far as contacting old girlfriends or dating profiles. To be clear to OP, this is infidelity. Not the same as outright cheating, but what he has done is a horrible betrayal of trust and it MUST be addressed.
Maybe the two of you need to figure out a way to spend some time one-on-one on a regular basis. Get a good babysitter and have a date night a couple times a month or something. Your life is all about the baby right now, which is what happens, but you still need to tend to your relationship. Talk to her about the importance of carving out time for the two of you – and don't make it about sex only.
I wouldn’t be marrying a guy who is a massive racist like that.
OMG wow, thanks guys. And girls and especially Alien_Crystal.
Good luck, hope the game is great.
Luckily, she’s not marrying either of them. I wouldn’t invite them to the wedding or your childhood friends. Your fiancée is not going to want to see those people.
You can't relate to his life, in his opinion and quite frankly mine. He can find you naked and lovely, but it doesn't mean he would like the relationship dynamics between you if you dated, or feeling insecure/misunderstood. Be his friend and don't overthink it
How come?