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I’m about to cry right now. Thank you for your advice. This stuff happens to me all the time and I just don’t know any better. I just naturally assume I’m being dramatic and that I should be nicer but really it just didn’t feel right. It’s so scary to think about
your and your friends' “trust issues are insane”
ROFL. The absolute best
Thank you so much! It was honestly a change in mentality and one day became two and it kept going!
Stop asking for intentions and judge by actions. Do the same for you too, life is easier this way. Seems like he genuinly fell in love with you. Weather or not this is a lasting feeling or a vulnerability based on his current situation is something i can not answer though.
If you trust him, keep doing that until evidence of the contrary comes up. Talk about your feelings and fears, too and also tell him that you were questioning his intentions and need clear communication.
Do not hold him to this standard if you are not doing the same however.
What is she doing that's bad…? Do you think she's bad for having sex before marriage…? How does that analogy make sense lol…?
She's making a choice, she's allowed to choose what she wants? That's so hypocritical and stupid. Y'all are wild
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I think I saw a documentary about your hometown in high school health class.
Slightly kidding, but there definitely was a famous doc about a huge STI outbreak in a small town.
he’s also mean to me he calls me names and he puts me down
This is a way more important issue than the sex (though that is also a major issue). What you're describing is emotional abuse.
There's a reason he got with a 19/20-year-old in his 30s. He was banking on your lack of experience to mold your understanding of what's normal in a relationship. Name-calling and screaming are not normal or healthy.
of course every girl I talk to says leave him but I want to fix it
Why? If everyone is telling you to leave, why are you so determined to fix it? What are you getting out of this relationship that's positive?
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It's beyond reprieve right now.
It seems like she's given you 10+ chances and you failed every single one of them.
Take some time away, get your own place. It's possible you guys might still be in connection and that's where you show your reliability and maybe after observing your changed ways she might give you another shot.
There are plenty of women who can orgasm from penetration alone, but your post has nothing to do with them. Yes, it's possible the women before you did orgasm with him.
However, if your orgasm requires clitoral stimulation, then he should be willing to provide that in order to make you orgasm Otherwise, he's just selfish and egotistical.
That’s right! If she’ll do it with you, she’ll do it to you! Karma is a nasty bitch.
Honestly the only thing I see is the dandruff. I highly recommend you invest in a shampoo and conditioner that focuses on scalp health. Briogeo makes a charcoal shampoo to stimulate your scalp and take care of dandruff. The healthier your scalp is, the more likely you are to slow down balding. Nioxcin or Bondi Boost are also good brands for hair loss and scalp health. You’ll spend more than you would at Walmart, but it makes a huge difference.
thank you! why do you think speed is important?
From your comments, you're twisting his words and playing mind games. Stop.
So how do you fix this? Can this be fixed? I love my husband and there are so great things about him. He can be very, very sweet but I am not willing to have these fights anymore. I’d rather be alone, honestly. I don’t want to be alone and I don’t want to kick him out but I’d rather be alone than to be with someone that can’t just… apologize, that things have to get this bad. How can he not understand that it is important he apologize when he hurts me for me to move on? Like how can he not get that? He acts like I’m some nasty little maniac for being so upset he won’t apologize.
they don't sing IN any key either
Addiction is a big word to be throwing around. Does he choose to watch porn instead of doing other things? Does he skip work or school in order to watch porn? Would he choose watching porn over having sex with you? If he just watches a lot of porn, it's not necessarily an addiction.
The main problem might be he is confusing porn for real life sex. Porn is over exaggerated sex. It's not real. Have you asked him why he's not cumming? Is he still enjoying himself? Honestly, if he's enjoying himself, and is okay with not finishing himself, is it really an issue?
If he's having trouble because he wants you to be more like the women in porn, then it could be a deal breaker. Are you truly willing to for go sex for however much longer you'll be with him? You both need to sit down and have a talk about your sex life. What is he not getting? Can he abstain from masturbating for a short while before having sex with you? Does he feel pressure as well to climax? There's quite a bit to unpack.
OP, consider this advice carefully:
do not marry her
Sweetie, it feels degrading because it IS degrading.
As a Mom, but also as a woman, I can tell you right now that this is NOT behavior worth tolerating. There are some things that you can let go of, but this is not one of them.
You are worth more than this. There is an old quote that I have always remembered and taken to heart:
“Show me who your friends are and I'll tell you who you are…”
People become like the people they associate with. They adopt similar manarisms, language affects, and their morals all tend to erode to the lowest common denomenator.
He has now shown you who his friends are. If he didn't appreciate their chat group he would have removed himself from it. He participates to some level.
Have you ever taken nudes for him? If so, its time to take his phone and scroll down until you get to the date your relationship started so you can see what he has or has not sent.
Sounds like you two have different plans in life, do you disagree?
Every now and then the easiest answer is the real answer.
If you know you only touched him sexually, you know where it came from already. You just don't want to believe It.
Source: Same shoes, but she gave me chlamydia. 3 years in, while pregnant.
Thank you for your input! Dad would never see a counsellor, because he never sees anything bad in what he does. He is never wrong, never apologising, everyone else and the universe is wrong, but he is always right. He might just say he is stressed as an excuse, but that's it. So I think he would never want to see a counsellor even if it's some ultimatum. His anger issues have just always been there, I think it's because he feels unfulfilled and not confident in other areas of life, so he takes it out on people at home, or people he views he can bully. A counsellor would help him understand why he acts like this, but he would never go to one, because .. he doesn't act in any way bad, if you ask him.
As an example, he treated his own mother like crap, screaming and throwing her phone on the ground etc, the day before she passed away. He was very angry that she was 'asking for attention', though of course he had no way to know she would pass away the next day. And if you ask him now, he doesn't regret even a bit about how he acted. Instead of learning from this experience, he became even worse.
He’s just gaslighting you. Trying to make this your fault
Just be your usual self but I would end every introduction with, “I'm sorry to meet under these circumstances.”
Tbf – she could have gotten them to see if she has a reaction to them
Just tell her what you found and ask her to explain
You idiot
Right. She wants to meet up with an old friend and introduce him to OP. That sounds innocent and totally understandable. Plus, OP’s gf is agreeing to hang out with someone who makes her a bit uncomfortable because that’s important to OP, and she’s being a supportive partner. This is OP’s chance to return the favor. OP’s creating a problem that doesn’t need to exist.
She pissed all over you and you're wondering why it smells like piss ?
Good luck with everything
I can understand the occasional outings with coworkers but, with it being her birthday you definitely should have been invited. You’re her husband and that should have been a given. To exclude you is very disrespectful. You two need to talk. Heck, show her your post and the comments. That alone shows that you aren’t alone in the way you’re thinking about this situation.
It's not like you accidentally broke his favorite coffee mug or something, you destroyed his trust, sided with his abuser and brought alot of trauma back up. So yeah that's 100% worth ending a relationship and engagement over. Why in the world do you trust this random strangers side of things over your fiance?? 6 years with him and you still don't trust him and his choices, so will you ever?
Just FYI I fully believe that is abuse is reoccurring then yes a mother knows, somewhere deep down inside she knew. It takes alot of effort to try and “not see” the obvious signs of abuse. Regardless she was the ones bringing these people in and neglecting her child and letting him be abused. So yes she did abuse him! If my wife invited my mother over oh man i would divorce her so fast, that's just not something you do to people you love.