Yeah that sounds about right. Maybe some bread with cheese or ham or butter lol
But as a Brazilian I don’t think it’s offensive or racist. Maybe he’s just sensitive or was having a bad day. Doesn’t seem like a reason to stop talking to you at all ?
You and me both. And I feel like the whole religion thing should be a decision that the children make when they are old enough, because it does affect kids.
I agree OP's bf is an asshole, but calling him a neo-nazi unsarcastically is fucking reaching lmao, he just sounds like a dumbass that doesn't understand genetics.
Is he pretending that he's interested in these women in order to get nudes from them? Playing with people's emotions like that is mean and despicable. I'd rethink our entire relationship if my partner treated people that way.
he is asking for my forgiveness to help in his recovery to become a better husband and dad.
Well, him being a better husband and dad are definitely NOT your job. That's his. He framed his apology as centered on his needs.
3rd option from the two you describe. I would discuss with your therapist and if you wanted to tell him (edit in a letter) you still have scars physically and mentally from his abuse, and the apology means little to you given it is predicated on his needs. If he wants to do the right thing by you he will respect your wishes and never contact you again.
At least that way you get to speak up for yourself in a way you never did. And, maybe, get the last word. It's not petty, it's actually pretty self-affirming to tell an old bully to fuck off.
I mean if it is at the point you are basically having this same discussion weekly then clearly it is a clashing point, an incompatibility, that you are simply unable to live with.
Because libido and the desire for sex can be more than just the feeling. You feel that sense of rejection, that frustration and preoccupation, the tension that comes from even discussing it. Emotionally it is taking a toll on both of you and in the same way she can't turn hers up you can't turn yours down.
Each time she gets upset that she’s “not good enough for me” (I assure her she is) or “we talked about this last week”, and the problem persists.
Because you frame it as a 'problem' and clearly she is starting to internalise it as well. It isn't a 'problem' but an incompatibility, as it stands you are unconsciously framing it as a failure of her to adjust to your desires and that is a problem and a source of a lot of the resentment.
I tend to have more sympathy for the person with the lower libido. Wanting more sex is frustrating, forcing yourself to have more sex is traumatising. Just keep that in mind.
I always try thanking him for doing things but then later I think to myself “why am I thanking him for cleaning up his own mess, or taking out the trash” Because I feel like he should already be doing it. Then I feel bad for feeling that way. I do think I'm too lenient sometimes and don't stand up for myself,, so I do want to have a serious conversation about it
this guy is going to be the next victim of your mother.
Yeah that sounds about right. Maybe some bread with cheese or ham or butter lol
But as a Brazilian I don’t think it’s offensive or racist. Maybe he’s just sensitive or was having a bad day. Doesn’t seem like a reason to stop talking to you at all ?
You and me both. And I feel like the whole religion thing should be a decision that the children make when they are old enough, because it does affect kids.
I agree OP's bf is an asshole, but calling him a neo-nazi unsarcastically is fucking reaching lmao, he just sounds like a dumbass that doesn't understand genetics.
So sorry to hear you are struggling with this too. Disrupted sleep sucks, hope your bluetooth pillow works out!
Is he pretending that he's interested in these women in order to get nudes from them? Playing with people's emotions like that is mean and despicable. I'd rethink our entire relationship if my partner treated people that way.
Mama’s frying pan, meet his head.
That's the only thing I can do, definitely can be about 99% less harsh than that though.
Do you think I can help find her path? Or is it something she should do on her own?
After reading the torrent of comments you’ve left it seems to me that it’s likely that you’re a parent that has a kid that won’t speak to you.
Reddit, again, is great at assumptions. I'm actually the child of a kid who has a parent as no contact.
The first one is always the hardest to get over. Just find a way past her, go get checked for STD’s, and go forward taking your lesson learned.
he is asking for my forgiveness to help in his recovery to become a better husband and dad.
Well, him being a better husband and dad are definitely NOT your job. That's his. He framed his apology as centered on his needs.
3rd option from the two you describe. I would discuss with your therapist and if you wanted to tell him (edit in a letter) you still have scars physically and mentally from his abuse, and the apology means little to you given it is predicated on his needs. If he wants to do the right thing by you he will respect your wishes and never contact you again.
At least that way you get to speak up for yourself in a way you never did. And, maybe, get the last word. It's not petty, it's actually pretty self-affirming to tell an old bully to fuck off.
Thank you kindly. And to you ❤️
I mean if it is at the point you are basically having this same discussion weekly then clearly it is a clashing point, an incompatibility, that you are simply unable to live with.
Because libido and the desire for sex can be more than just the feeling. You feel that sense of rejection, that frustration and preoccupation, the tension that comes from even discussing it. Emotionally it is taking a toll on both of you and in the same way she can't turn hers up you can't turn yours down.
Each time she gets upset that she’s “not good enough for me” (I assure her she is) or “we talked about this last week”, and the problem persists.
Because you frame it as a 'problem' and clearly she is starting to internalise it as well. It isn't a 'problem' but an incompatibility, as it stands you are unconsciously framing it as a failure of her to adjust to your desires and that is a problem and a source of a lot of the resentment.
I tend to have more sympathy for the person with the lower libido. Wanting more sex is frustrating, forcing yourself to have more sex is traumatising. Just keep that in mind.
Thank you! Would you recommend waiting till the end of the week or just asking now
Sorry your gf isn't interested in being mommy 2.0. Maybe end it and try again?
Btw avoidant behaviors don't serve anxiety. Therapy treats anxiety.
Yes. That is abusive.
Yeah anytime I say he’s gaslighting, he automatically says that I’m the gaslighter for using the word? Ugh it’s very draining…
Well, it was rude of your friend to imply that your hair looked poor.
I always try thanking him for doing things but then later I think to myself “why am I thanking him for cleaning up his own mess, or taking out the trash” Because I feel like he should already be doing it. Then I feel bad for feeling that way. I do think I'm too lenient sometimes and don't stand up for myself,, so I do want to have a serious conversation about it