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Well it’s also not fair to women that they get raped all the time and then accused of lying about it.
Therapy
As someone with a similar problem, lube and a bumper are gonna be your best friends. Penises are weird, and all of them look kinda ridiculous in their own vaguely attractive way, so don’t worry that you and your partner feel weird about it.
Talk to a counselor. Tell the would-be rapists parents, tell the police, have your counselor help you tell your boyfriend. Your “friend” really isn't a friend. She is supporting her boyfriend and hanging out with those that hurt you. Stay away from her. She has chosen a side and it's not yours. If you have bruises, marks go to the hospital so they can take pictures with the police report. I am sorry this happened to you.
i have no intention to punish her. I understand that even though she was a bad spouse she was still a good mom and i felt loved.
Im just at a loss for how to move forward. I dont know how to repair my feelings towards her.
It has been easy in parts and not easy in others
Exactly what was the text that gave you the impression you broke up? Honestly, without that info it’s difficult to provide good feedback/advice.
Regardless, you had only dated for 6 months. You barely know her; in fact, you had no idea her life was imploding on her. You don’t know why her life is imploding, either. You mentioned her life was “chaos” – is that healthy for you and your kids?
A healthy relationship has healthy communication. It doesn’t strike me that your very short relationship had much communication at all.
Go on the date. Enjoy yourself and get to know this woman. And, believe it or not, you don’t actually have to kiss her to make her aware you like her and would want to see her again. (Assuming the date goes well.)
Two ways to go about this –
You’re confident she won’t change and better to cut your “losses” now so you don’t waste anymore time in this relationship and so both of you can move on and potentially find partners more in line.
You love her and willing to keep at the relationship to try working on some changes and perhaps compromises. Sometimes people do change and “grow up”, but there is no guarantee.
So basically saying you need to analyze how you feel and what your gut is saying. However if you do stick with the relationship, a compromise I am eluding too is you may need to accept she is a “messier” person than you. That you may need to do more of the cleaning. But from a financial standpoint, there likely needs to be change there OR serious talks about finances or goals/responsibilities before you get married. It’s the finances that usually fracture relationships in the long run.
IMO it doesn't matter why he behaves this way. The simple fact is that he treats you very disrespectfully, and you don't need someone like that in your life.
Rightfully jealous, your wife is.
I would have skinned you for that. Honestly, man!
Placing that giant saussage between you and her- emotionally was like you fencing yourself in. And her out.
Signal is: “I rather cuddle with this here than with you!”
If she is much into cuddles, she may feel like you have taken soething emotionally important away from her.
Where I totally get your point to being able to have a good sleep with something squishy that doesn't breathe (it's just a symbol to your brain, that you are not upposed the one to have one ear cocked in alert to protect the body of the other person in that bed but are allowed to rest completely!)
While to her it may be the signal: “I don't care about protecting and cuddling you by sleep hugging you, anymore.”
If you were my man… you would have hered me loud and clear.
But then: if you were my man you wouldn't have done that.
Because I would have told you right after our first night that… and how very very much I had enjoyed your way to sleep cuddle.
For me my bodie's behaviour at night is an indicator of the state my relationship is in.
Where hearing someone breathe next to me has the power to make me wake up with a start, always having one ear awake to see, if the breathing is regular (light sleeper, motherly of nature) ….
…it also holds the power of warmth and strong physical feeling of being protected through my nights.
Being solo having one male body protecting my sleep at night to snuggle against is what I miss the moste when having no relationship.
Emotionally a night cuddle tells the woman: ” You 're my chosen one. I protect you against cave bears, sabre tooth tigera and dinosaurs. I keep you warm and in one piece. Sleep.”
It stands for warmth and protection. For safety ans trust. She entrusts her life for you to protect through her weakest moments, when she can't protect herself.
The biggest woooow rrrrrrrrrr point to send me emotionally purring is a man literally “having my back” at night: a strong chest to snuggle up against. An arm wrapped around me, pulling me close.
It's not thaaat much about the erotical aspect. But about feeling loved, supported and emotionally protected when I can do nothing for myself in my sleep.
It's the deepest signal of trusting and loving someone I can give. And I can receive.
And now figure out how to make up for that monster blunder of yours, you valiant protective man.
It may be a very old instinct coming from the ages where being two would ensure survival.
Where sleeping to overly sound or solo could mean you would wake up half eaten or half killed by whatever.
Where hugging the potential or actual mother of your children could mean ensuring survival of your genes, lest SHE may have ended waking up half eaten or half killed.
Mind: this may be only my own grain of salt about that.
But you never forget again that some teeny tiny things may hold an emotionally instinctive value to your significant other which- taken away- potentially may make her very upset and generate a feeling of
loss and of being replaced (by that pillow)
being taken something precious from her.
That's why she may feel jealous of the pillow.
UPDATE I’m going to get a lot of hate for this update but I relapsed, had a horrible and mentally and emotionally draining day that ultimately ruined my mental state and my own self worth and I couldn’t even take a look in a mirror without hating what looked back at me, I didn’t stay clean and she is all but one mistake away weather it’s little, big, related to the issue or not to me losing absolutely everything I love and hold dear to me. Not asking for advice on this update because I don’t think I deserve or have earned anyone’s help in any way but I was just letting the ones that might have wanted to know how things played out know that I’m desperately failing and think that if or when honestly, I do completely lose everything I won’t be able to post anymore because I will probably decide to let my depression take over snd never wake up from that “nap” I haven’t been successful with before in the past. Thank you to those who did reply and gave me some brutal honesty that I did need to hear.
This is kinda my point right here. Everything you pointed out like the words and victim mentality and being so concerned about me reading more. At one point after her saying a couple times I. Could go through her phone. I reached to pick it up or had it in my hands and that’s when she raised her voice and said “what is wrong with you” and got more defensive sayin I don’t trust her and that she hasn’t done anything wrong and isn’t hiding anything. She leaves her phone out around me all the time facing up etc but things like this just make me think. Best part about this all is tomorrow there’s a birthday for her at her families which she just left today to go back so I can’t even talk to her here more about this.
Do they both know about each other? Tell them. The smarter one will leave usually and there you go. Smart women aren't options, higher-value women ain't options. This leaves you with the one you woulda picked more than likely anyway. The one willing to do whatever because she loves you so much, not because you love her so much. She'll feel like a winner, but she'll realize she was just an easier option eventually and you'll be left with none. Pick the girl you truly feel the best connection with. If they both stay, then go with proximity or looks because they don't change at all as you age. Just kidding, I can't help but throw sarcasm in, but I'm not saying it condescendingly ?. Good luck, these aren't easy choices, and if you go with the ugly one, you best pray she don't find out you ever said that.
Youve opened yourself up to a legal mess. As others have said consult with an attorney. I cant speak for your jurisdiction but its unlikely youre eligible for past child support as you didnt pursue it or even tell him that you had his children. Thats gonna be a major point that could go against you here. Its a long road from telling him your pregnant to actually having the kids. After telling him you moved and blocked him from contacting you. This may have seemed reasonable at the time however you have now put your children at the mercy of the court system if he gets a lawyer. After the court gets involved you will lose control over visitation and possibly custody as in it could go to split custody. If he is the father an argument definitely could be made that you blocked him from his children. It may not seem fair but the court could and may view this as you denying your children the right to know their father. I think youre in for a difficult and uphill battle if/when the courts get involved.
Thank you, yes, I decided to cut her off for good, and I know I took the right decision.
I’m 36f. 23m look like babies to me. They’re at completely different life stages, and because of that usually want very different things. The extra life experience also makes a power imbalance that can make it easier for the older person to become manipulative and abusive.
Unless she is specific with any one associate, I would not worry. You may mention to her the terms of aderment are troubling to you.
You're both adults with body autonomy, if there's no coercion or position of authority issues I don't see what the problem is. Attraction isn't a choice.