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my pussy is ready to feel your vibrations, come and make me yours
You can do whatever you need to do.
If you need more personal time or you need more time with friends or time at work or booze, do whatever you need.
If you cant help her seek the help she needs then you need to break up with her.
She needs assistance (hence the codependency) and you’re probably incapable of giving it (same as me) and thats 10000% fine…. But someone can and they spent too much time in school. Your job is to encourage her to find the solution she requires to resolve her problems or to leave. You don’t have the solution.
She should become more independent and not grow more dependent being in a relationship with you. There is not way you’re relationship will survive if you ever have to lean on her without resolving this. You cant give 150% forever.
I wish you luck and the strength you need wherever you need it regardless if you choose to join her on this journey. Do not go forward if you ever expect to be repaid or acknowledged for the effort. You really have to love her and want to be with her forever for it to work out. Otherwise please remove yourself as a crutch so she can grow organically.
Feel free to pm me if you ever need to. It was/is very very hot to sort out alone. Best of luck
Should totally tell her that mommy and daddy do love each other and that’s why you are leaving because they’re getting back together like the ‘good old times’.
Drop bombs on his family!
Thank you and thank you for posting advice earlier too, I appreciate the support a lot
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Late 20s teacher behaving like a smug little child online. I'll reiterate my point. Poor children.
Everyone should develop a healthy mother and father internally for themselves. To nurture your inner child. It’s no one’s turn but yourself. You need to talk to the immature emotions for what they are… immature and childish. That’s developing self parenting skills. You’ll always need a parent it just becomes your responsibility to be your own after awhile. Once that’s healed you’ll grow a lot.
When you go to therapy that’s generally the reason they ask about how you grew up and your relationship with your parents. it helps gauge what type of parenting skills you have.
Maybe you had to grow up fast. You have to nurture and protect your inner child. But in an argument it sounds like that child is coming out. Not the parent.
Go to therapy. Any therapist worth their salt will hone in on that pretty quickly. You’re not alone especially someone in their early 20s. I was a man baby until my mid 20s. It fucking sucks but you’re self aware enough where now you have an obligation to your inner child and those that you’re affecting with your behavior.
No it is weaponized because he didn’t attempt to problem solve, tho he’s a scientist, or even text op about the issue. He dropped it and told her to do it instead. It’s bs
Even my ex knew better to ask me and even googled it before he had me do things for him
Not cross country. Hundreds of dollars.
He sounds exhausting. What are his good qualities?
“Dammit Jim, you can’t expect a woman to just hang around with a full quota of orgasms! I need 12 a week. Not all in one day. What are you going to do about it?
It's trauma bonding which is like Stockholm syndrome. That's why he's staying. Abuse is a cycle. She's nice for awhile then does the same thing. It causes the victim to hold onto hope that they'll change back into the person they were in the beginning. They won't stay that way. It's true that whether she gets on her meds or not, he needs to get out of there.
Right flip this round. Everyone is entitled to preferences, sure. You’re entitled not to date someone if you really hate beards and they have a beard. You’re even entitled to break up with someone your dating if they grow a beard and won’t get rid. I’d argue it’s shallow, but you’re entitled too.
You’re not entitled to guilt trip people into doing something or not doing something they don’t want to do with their body though.
Just like you shouldn’t be telling a woman to shave her armpits/legs/genitals and claiming it’s gross if she doesn’t.
He doesn’t love you
For me it would be very simple: Either you tell me how much space you need and I can decide if I am willing to accept or not, or I break up and tell her to take all her things to the streets where she can have all the space she wants.
His account is our joint account and I have mine separate, he earns nearly double what I do. We can't afford a cleaner as much as I'd love one!
I know you're asking about the guy from Greece, but I just wanted to say, don't bypass your youth living with an old guy who won't give you any affection. That's a very big mistake. I don't expect you to leave him tomorrow, but maybe I've planted an idea that will grow.
Thats called rape!
Then don’t parent him because this is the dynamic it’s turning into if you have to keep calling him out on things too much.
I would with compassionate energy, encouragement towards therapy cause a lot of veterans do go through the ringer when active. So that can contribute to burnout.
And if he is on the spectrum, as someone with ADHD & ASD (no support needs), you may have an uphill battle if you don’t use direct logical communication and kindness to get the point across, because emotional language may not be registering to him cause he may not be registering things if he doesn’t understand his own emotions fully.
Ramses Emerson is TAKEN
DO NOT MOVE IN WITH THIS PERSON
Agreed! If it were me I would already be packing my ?, sunscreen, sunglasses etc! Look after your friend and enjoy yourself !
I’d rather get over the fact that I’m not comfortable with it so he can be happy.
It sounds like you are trying to exert control over a situation that is clearly not in your control. Relationships are not about making choices to make your partner happy; they are about finding ways to align your life with someone else, to each of your benefits. If one of you is having to endure discomfort simply to satisfy the other, then you have a clear sign the relationship is unhealthy.
I am soooo insecure and have a touch of abandonment issues. I’m nervous that this will exacerbate our problems and end up ruining us.
While you may want this relationship to persist, have you considered that the relationship is already “ruined”. I put that in quotes because it may never have been a good relationship, or it may have been shifting into an unhealthy one for some time now. Your concerns about abandonment are valid, but those feelings cannot be resolved via having a relationship. In fact, those issues may be causing you to tolerate an unhealthy relationship dynamic.
My advice is that you represent your discomfort with an open relationship directly. Part of what makes a good relationship is being able to be honest with your partner, even if it will yield a negative reaction. That said, whether he respects your feelings on this matter will tell you whether he's in this relationship for both your benefit, or just his own (on this matter). Also, your partner may be trying to find a way to not remain in the relationship, but he is similarly afraid to be honest (because he may not want to hurt your feelings). In any and all cases, it seems communication is breaking down, as neither you nor he are maintaining a candid conversation about this.
You've been together for a lot of your formative years (which are still happening). I'm sure it's very hot to consider ending the relationship, because you probably are very sensitive about how upset your partner will be. But an open relationship is not a healthy way for problems to be resolved in any relationship. It is a sign that your relationship may have gone on longer than is good for either of you, and it is now inhibiting your ability to grow and be honest about what you want for yourself or in a partner. Take some time to honestly reflect on what you genuinely want for yourself, your life, and your relationship. This includes aspects that you are comfortable sharing with others or that cross your comfort zone. Then, prepare yourself to be more honest with your partner, and recognise that simply keeping a partner “happy” is not a sufficient reason to keep a relationship going.