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MR. MAESTR, ÔK & Friends, 26 y.o.
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Ok . My advice for her is to start with ignoring all input like yours.
No it’s not.
So your paying him to be a father then?
Lol
If it’s court ordered she HAS to do it. It sounds like this is the only way forward… your kids are being brought into the middle of this petty shit and it HAS to stop.
Yeah things are not gonna improve. Sounds like they both suck here without knowing more.
Please go ahead and find a therapist for the inevitable eating disorder and body dysmorphia that she gives your child. Get her one too for her own disorder eating (or at the least thinking)
This man is a drama king, he knows you value stability, especially financial. Therefore he played the game of doing everything that would make him look like marriage material (it was only temporary) . You are ? correct you will be taking care of him, his son and the car note. You're not special he's already pimping his mom. If a baby is more important, go ahead. The downfall is he will be the dad. My response is not to put you down but to wake you up keep it moving sis.
Trust me, 30 year olds do not see 18 year olds as adults. It's just the lowest they can go, legally. He's not different. He's a creep. I'm sorry.
Based on what you’ve said he sounds like he has more than just adhd…
Anyhow.. just ask him how you can support/help him best if you don’t know or haven’t asked before. If he’s not particularly good at communicating.. give him multiple choice suggestions. Would he prefer you be there, leave him alone, etc…
A lot of the time.. he’d probably just appreciate you being understanding that he can’t prioritise you right now and not getting too upset/needy for his attention.
It could also just be making coffee for him or something.
Personally, when he’s taking a break or before we sleep, I try to lighten/brighten the mood by telling him the scientifically proven positive stress relieving benefits sex has… or in the morning I’ll remind him that sex improves focus etcetc.. Very often/likely, heavy stress lowers libido… but sex really can help… so I’ll just let him know and low key encourage him to take the opportunity to lower his stress ?? of course.. If he’s too tired/stress… You can offer more “one sided” forms of stress relief.
Also, encourage him to go outside every now and then… And also to exercise. Again, I know people who are stressed are less motivated to do these things… but both these things are also proven to help with stress.
That’s a terrible comparison
Going back over the post, I agree that the snooping through their phone is def unhealthy, but the other things (as long as she’s communicating what’s going on with her gf) are much like the puppy-love/honeymoon phase of infatuation