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Be very very careful how you handle this. It could be legit, but it's also very similar to a really popular scan right now. If they start asking for money (might say it's for therapy etc) do not pay.
I came her to say the same thing. Do you miss her because you are isolated and don’t have hobbies or do you 100% miss her. If so: talk to her about it. I assume that the last 29 years together is safe enough to talk about this
You will end up only being a bank account for her and her boyfriend and if you stay married to her she will be entitled to everything you have once in the military.
okay thank you, to be fair i always am sore anyway so it’s true
There should be no reason you can’t continue to co-parent. Not sure why she has to declare the whole thing over just because she wants some lesbian sex.
Your gf is wrong and you are right, she should have told you
❤
Thank you so much… I had read some literature about BPD before to understand her better, but your examples really helped (It wasnt really a lot, I'm not a psicologist or even the reading type). I already knew she really needs treatment I have had that conversation with her before and told her she needs it. She already knows, and also (sometimes) wants it it just scared. But to be honest the biggest reason its just that we don't have the income to afford it. Please if you know about any other way that professional therapy that I can help her or anything… it would mean a lot. I do really love her with all my heart, and it hurts seeing her suffer.
As for the situation, well after one day she really just calmed down and by night started talking normal to me again, Im understanding that as the “she went from seeing me negatively to positively” moment. I kinda expected that, not the first time it has happened. She started talking about how a lot of other things are stressing her out (family/studies). The problem kinda resolve itself, but… I know it probably will come back at some moment.
Im sorry if at this moment im just ranting probably just wanted to vent a little. Thank you for the long comment and awesome insight to a pwBPD. Thank you again.
Just keep in mind that whatever her story is, it is the BEST possible story she could come up with to explain what happened and still sound believable. Most likely the real story is much worse. If you can barley hang on to the relationship with what she’s telling you, it’s probably time to move on.
She has some serious problems, and you’re two months in.
Facts
That's a term she uses. Cracks me up all the time. You don't seem to know stripper vocabulary. Good on you.
First I'd ask if you guys are taking a break or breaking up.? A break is when you haven't officially broken up, but you've decided to take some time off from each other and your relationship with a intend to come back to each other, which she wants.
If it's a breakup then you should live! like any single person, go out, date and not wait if/when she changes her mind. She's made up her mind to leave you, respect her decision and move on.
If it's a break: I believe you certainly have the right to just ask for a timeline since she sees a future with you and wants to be with you in the future. It isn't fair for you to wait around for years without knowing her time-line and putting your life on hold for her.
Given it's a break, set ground rules. Are you going to see other people? What is considering cheating? Should you continue communicating? anything else that's important to you.
Goodluck!
You already deep in it and have four, what's the big deal with having a 5th?
What a weirdly written post
The fact he didn't even trust you enough and just believed anything his brother says should give you all you need to know. Leave that jerk. You deserve a family that loves you and a husband that trusts you.
I give it a few months to maybe after the baby is born and he will either cheat on her like he did his soon to be ex wife or he’ll find out the baby isn’t his like he was told and he’ll be begging his soon to be ex wife for another change
It's still good to help people grow and call them out on their actions, especially if you know they're lacking certain qualities and need your support “princess”
It “only” took 14 months.
Jebus, is that really a relatively quick timeframe for PCOS?
Sounds like the honeymoon phase is over. Maybe the stresses of those first months and visits were too much. Nobody can say how much time is quality time for you. It is personal.
And FYI: “Third world country” is really not am OK term. I suggest you learn more about why.
Is he a commercial pilot that work’s something like 2 weeks on/2 off, or is he a private pilot with a more flexible schedule?
I meant in general. Does he flash them around and threaten her, or does he just own guns like millions of others?
Maybe not where youre from.
This is stupid. You’re telling her not to be with someone because he was honest? She obviously felt the same way and he agreed with her. That’s honesty. I can definitely tell you’re not married or have ever been married, since based your on comment. It’s called being self aware. You’re either a child, or you’ve ran away from many marriages/relationships.
Yes. This^
And he doesn't care about you enough not to do this OP, same goes for the other girl. He is a player. That girl needs to know. And I suggest you both confront him and put him in his place. Record his reaction too. That shit will be gold later.
Take this as a lesson on what to stay away from in a potential suitor.
Um. No. If you are going to save half of your paycheck, you can save it in your own accounts. With separate finances, there is absolutely NO reason to combine your savings. You can each write a separate check for the downpayment & your shares of the closing costs when the time comes (you will want it to be absolutely clear if worse comes to worse who paid what toward the house. That won't be clear if it comes out of an account solely in his name).
So they probably do know each other since he's not liking her posts unnoticed. Have you googled her? Maybe check her LinkedIn and see if she's worked with your bf or one of his friends.
It’s nothing to do with you. Don’t look for flaws in yourself, instead see the glaring flaw in your husband that is his hurtful decisions.
He’s playing you and knows you’re insecure so he is using that against you. He probably walks all over you in other instances. Time for you to stand up for yourself and demand respect
Sorry to break it to him but you’ll be “taking” half “his” stuff anyway. ? now or later. The fact he’s thinking this stuff and believes that getting “ahead of it” financially is even a thing he can consider at this stage just shows his priorities and also his stupidity.
Not gonna lie it crossed my mind.
She sounds like the type to get that wedding cake topper where the wife is dragging the groom away from the TV.
What is SH? Let him have her. Maybe she’s found a new guy to start the obsessive, controlling emotional cycle of abuse with. Maybe she thinks it’s a Bonus that it would hurt you. This young woman has a lot to deal with and a lot to learn in life. You are ahead of the game by dropping her, using boundaries and looking to move on. There’s like tons of folks much older than you that still haven’t been able to leave abusive partners. You have great opportunity to focus on becoming a better person for the next person you meet. Of course breaking up sucks but it gets better each day. The only way through it is through it! Good luck. And what’s SH?? Thanks