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Seems you've fallen into the “my insecurities have turned me abusive” category. Might wanna work on that.
There’s a legendary song titled “when a man loves a woman” and there’s a part that goes “ if she’s bad, he can’t see it, she can do no wrong, and turns his back on his best friend if he puts her down.”
“what is wrong with you?” you kind of already stated that. not that this is “wrong” but like you said you have a anxious preoccupied attachment style. sounds like you need to work on yourself and that attachment style before getting into anything of the relationship/hookup type.
Stop simping bro.
Her idea of a real relationship is “completely chopped and screwed.”
What she wants from you is your “happiness and indentured servitude.”
Tell Queen Worthless to kick a huge ass pile of rocks and GTFO!
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OP, just cut your gf loose already.
you have the option of staying and continuing this life with the possibility he might change, if he wants to really do it.
Or you have the option of still being young enough to divorce, find a new partner and begin living life the way you'd hope.
I assume you're looking for a more sophisticated answer than to get you into bed.
Living at home doesn’t mean he doesn’t isolate or refuse to tell anyone anything.
Presuming someone is safe because they “live at home” is a recipe for disaster.
I mean, lol.
it’s annoying to put on and he can’t feel anything
Keep in mind, that is what he's decided is more important than your health. “Can't feel anything” is a total exaggeration. If it's such a big deal, he can get ultra thin condoms and maybe stop jerking off. Instead, he's decided you getting regular UTIs is the preferable option.
I let him call the shots because about 2 years ago when we first met, he told me that his ex-girlfriend tried something in bed with him that traumatized him. He was so uncomfortable that he broke up with her over it. He described her as sex-obsessed. The only details he gave were that she tried to convince him to make a sex tape with her for the internet (he said no and hated the idea.) After they broke up apparently she moved to California and became a porn star.
There seems to be an additional activity she tried on him that he didn't feel comfortable mentioning, so I don't know what it is. I've been extremely cautious because I don't want to bring up bad memories or remind him of his ex girlfriend. I don't want to be the reason his trauma resurfaces.
On top of this, he says he's “sexually inexperienced” (age 26), claims to have no kinks, he doesn't watch porn and only initiates sex with me like once every two weeks. He has a very low libido because he has Chron's, So when it does happen, I don't complain and I take what I can get.
But it's become so vanilla and boring that I just want to be restrained a little or maybe some light hair pulling, something like that, nothing crazy. Very mild.
It also doesn't help that I'm naturally very submissive and I have a naked time taking control without getting extremely embarrassed.
“my brother in Christ” LMAO
Advice is spot on!
I am going to agree with the other comment that if she's having (ostensibly) life-threatening breakdowns twice a week, she needs to be back on her medication.
I dont think there's anything wrong with you saying you won't have sex with him if you don't want to, I just think it's similar to what the bf did in the other post. He also didn't want to have sex with his gf, and they were younger, he took it a step further and broke up with her.
As for calling his mustache creepy, maybe it's better than calling him creepy, but it was pretty unkind of you, and you shouldn't have said that to him.
Nor is she owed one with him.
I mean if you continue to watch media with it and are finding it naked to make it through watching shows with zero tolerance- and it is detrimentally affecting your life/habits then yeah.
Sometimes part of the suffering in a story is learning that the suffering was unfair and the character overcoming it. If you're finding yourself constantly turning off shows and unable to appreciate a full story in your daily life it probably is worth paying some attention to and talking with a therapist.
OP is finding this to be detrimental to their viewing with their partner and is concerned. She knows he has some hurt he is going through, and I'd argue he should at least examine this hurt critically and talk with a therapist if he hasn't yet.
If you have triggers that affect daily life you should talk to a therapist and confront that pain in some way so you can figure out how to process it and adjust- even if that means the therapist telling you to skip scenes/shows with that content at least you know you're doing it healthily.
Allow him the joy of giving you this gift. Be grateful and reciprocate when you can afford it.
Haven't different sexual fantasies as your partner is fine and normal. But being an inconsiderate asshole isn't… If this is regular behaviour with him, then I would seriously consider ending the relationship if I were you.
Definitely would understand someone asking questions and making suggestions but outright shitting on your idea? Not a partner.
Personally I would ditch her and create a business plan.
Doesn't sound like he's joking. He's expressing his real feelings and can't admit it, IMO.
Get a DNA test and if it’s not yours. Consider yourself lucky. Why is she letting some random raw dog her and bust up inside of her
Bruh my thoughts exactly. The cab driver is a dick, but why is OP even in this position in the first place.
How much has OP saved for the down-payment?
Nah.. more money more problems
Doesn't matter. He should still charge rent. You aren't married. No reason to let you online for free.
Sounds like you DO have something against strippers.
Her subconcious told her all that there was to know.
OP: you are not in a position to go pinimg after selfish ahole manipulators going after younger women.
You seem to have dodged a massive bullet!
Move on. You did the right thing. Stop feeling bad.
And: erase all chats. Block. And never answer to calls without caller IDs.
He may try to get back to you. But not out of love. Out of missing a still convenient partner in his life.
Show her this post.