You have to look up The Putative Father Registry in your state. This prevents a child you believe to be yours from being adopted against your will. You can also speak with hospital admin or get a lawyer.
It sounds like your partner has a lot of insecurities in general, some that have manifested in the belief that you prefer women so they need to do this to keep you, despite your protests. I’m afraid this problem is most likely beyond your pay grade.
What you can do is assure them how much you are attracted to them and love them just the way they are, and that you’re not a cheater just looking for someone to leave them for. And then encourage them to get counseling to boost they’re confidence and help guide them in their transition decision because you can’t deal with the guilt if they only did it for you. That sounds be a relationship killer.
By the way, have you considered you may be pansexual? They are attracted to others regardless of gender or sex. Since your partner is a mix of opposite gender and biological sex and you love them and are attracted to them just the way they are, this might be a concept that gives them greater confidence.
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
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and she doesn’t usually get help with basic things in life as much as i do from my elders and so when i see that she’s struggling with something life related i usually give her my advice and as i said, she comes back at me very rudely.
I appreciate this response from a man with experience. I agree with you. Everything about comment checks out with why I’m pissed about it. She just sent me a video of them at dinner 5 minutes ago so at least I know where she’s at, but it’s definitely weird to me
i’m aware that life doesn’t give you all that you want. but like i said, the replies were uncalled for. so i removed it for that reason to move on. quite frankly i just think a lot of people hate women lmfao. bc making it seem like my bf was a victim and such when he’s no way at all is just funny at this point. what i asked for is nothing new or even crazy. i’m not yelling at him and accusing him of such things. it was a conversation we had and i’m trying to understand how to continue with it. like i said, i got my advice from messages. some on my side, some not. just bc the world doesn’t work in our favor doesn’t mean you have to be an ass as well. get over yourself. i’m done with this conversation & i got what i wanted, have a good one
I mean ultimately you cannot negotiate passion or attraction. You may be able to negotiate participation, but it won't be the same as if it was accompanied by desire.
These are always tough situations, refusing to have sex is breaking a traditional wedding vow the same as having an affair and I think quite frankly they are on par.
I think you can try therapy but my friends who have been in similar situations their wives have told them they can go have fun on their own time. For some women it just shuts down.
The dust will always settle. Some times just take longer than others.
In the meantime, remember you’re not alone. This happens to many people.
Lastly, you did make a great metaphor to explain how you feel. Remember there’s more to be done. Don’t admire the problem any further than you need to, begin solving it when you have a good picture of where you’re at.
Waiting a few days to bring something up is actually a reasonable strategy to do intentionally. Sometimes a bit of time means you realize something didn't need to be brought up at all, sometimes you realize it's a bigger deal than you thought at first. And taking time to process didn't necessarily mean there's anything wrong with you at all.
I think this is really a deflection strategy on her part. I'd just reply, “I'm bringing it now, and I need us to talk about it,” and get her back to the actual subject.
You have to look up The Putative Father Registry in your state. This prevents a child you believe to be yours from being adopted against your will. You can also speak with hospital admin or get a lawyer.
Oh I'm sure he was thinking something liked funny on your body also maybe a
It sounds like your partner has a lot of insecurities in general, some that have manifested in the belief that you prefer women so they need to do this to keep you, despite your protests. I’m afraid this problem is most likely beyond your pay grade.
What you can do is assure them how much you are attracted to them and love them just the way they are, and that you’re not a cheater just looking for someone to leave them for. And then encourage them to get counseling to boost they’re confidence and help guide them in their transition decision because you can’t deal with the guilt if they only did it for you. That sounds be a relationship killer.
By the way, have you considered you may be pansexual? They are attracted to others regardless of gender or sex. Since your partner is a mix of opposite gender and biological sex and you love them and are attracted to them just the way they are, this might be a concept that gives them greater confidence.
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Why isn't it fair? That dog is dangerous.
Hello /u/Jukebxo,
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
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We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles start with ages/genders in the following format:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two at the beginning of your title. Here is an example:
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It’s wasted effort, he’s not learning anything lol
Lol this isn’t book nine of outlander, it was a beginning to end script for a rape themed RPG game.
Wait..how did he becomes your bf again?..if you cant find common ground?. Then what was your basis in accepting him as your bf?.
and she doesn’t usually get help with basic things in life as much as i do from my elders and so when i see that she’s struggling with something life related i usually give her my advice and as i said, she comes back at me very rudely.
I appreciate this response from a man with experience. I agree with you. Everything about comment checks out with why I’m pissed about it. She just sent me a video of them at dinner 5 minutes ago so at least I know where she’s at, but it’s definitely weird to me
i’m aware that life doesn’t give you all that you want. but like i said, the replies were uncalled for. so i removed it for that reason to move on. quite frankly i just think a lot of people hate women lmfao. bc making it seem like my bf was a victim and such when he’s no way at all is just funny at this point. what i asked for is nothing new or even crazy. i’m not yelling at him and accusing him of such things. it was a conversation we had and i’m trying to understand how to continue with it. like i said, i got my advice from messages. some on my side, some not. just bc the world doesn’t work in our favor doesn’t mean you have to be an ass as well. get over yourself. i’m done with this conversation & i got what i wanted, have a good one
Yes, it’s ok to break up with her.
If you think it's just teenagers and 'basement dwellers', you're very wrong. It can be every kind of guy.
PROUD OF YOU!
Time to be done with that man… throw him away bc he’s trash ?️
I hope this is fake …
He's love bombing you, and it's irritating. You could tell him to back off a little, but he's probably not going to take that well.
I mean ultimately you cannot negotiate passion or attraction. You may be able to negotiate participation, but it won't be the same as if it was accompanied by desire.
These are always tough situations, refusing to have sex is breaking a traditional wedding vow the same as having an affair and I think quite frankly they are on par.
I think you can try therapy but my friends who have been in similar situations their wives have told them they can go have fun on their own time. For some women it just shuts down.
Dude. What’s yours is hers, but what’s hers isn’t yours.
This isn’t a partnership, it’s financial abuse.
Fucking run.
The dust will always settle. Some times just take longer than others.
In the meantime, remember you’re not alone. This happens to many people.
Lastly, you did make a great metaphor to explain how you feel. Remember there’s more to be done. Don’t admire the problem any further than you need to, begin solving it when you have a good picture of where you’re at.
Waiting a few days to bring something up is actually a reasonable strategy to do intentionally. Sometimes a bit of time means you realize something didn't need to be brought up at all, sometimes you realize it's a bigger deal than you thought at first. And taking time to process didn't necessarily mean there's anything wrong with you at all.
I think this is really a deflection strategy on her part. I'd just reply, “I'm bringing it now, and I need us to talk about it,” and get her back to the actual subject.