You must get an attorney, and you must file for divorce from this woman and have a court put into affect an order that will bother her from interfering in your life or letting your arguments affect your children’s lives. If she does, she can be held in contempt, and if she refuses to keep this animosity from interfering with your visitation with your children, then she could have custody removed from her completely and awarded to you. It sounds like she is completely unbalanced, and the sooner you have the authorities intervene and sort things out, the happier you all will be, children included. They can feel the stress from not having you around, from her being upset, and the uncertainty of what is happening has to have them in a constant state of upheaval. If you want them to be happy, you have to get this sorted out and quick. It’s been far too long already.
He's breadcrumbing her. Keeping her as an option in the wings. He's Crossing so many boundaries, I'm not sure it would work. Do not marry him. Tell him what you saw. Admit it was wrong to snoop, but don't allow him to lead you from the issue at hand. Depending on his reaction, you'll know what to do. If he starts playing it off as nothing, you know he has no remorse, and won't change. Then, you take what dignity you have left, and move on
Maybe I can reassure your fear. My folks and I online in neighboring states, about four or five hours away. We still have an extremely close relationship. I go visit them once a month and talk to my mom on the phone several times a week. I love my parents very much and like hanging out with them, but the distance has helped me grow up (24f), and they're really proud that I have a job I like in the city I've always dreamed of living in.
Children are meant to leave their parents behind some day, but that doesn't mean you won't still have a great relationship. If you parents love and want what's best for you, they'll be excited for you to make this change. Plus, living away doesn't have to be forever. You can always go back someday, or your parents can move to be closer to you once they retire.
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Thankyou for your response, I wish it was that simple but my daughter adores her mum. I also work full time and wouldn’t be able to afford childcare. She’s had the police called in her several times in a drunk state and always manages to play it off so well that nothing ever gets filled. I don’t feel like I can give my kids the life they deserve.
That's great that your daughter adores her mother. She will enjoy seeing her at her supervised visitations.
Or are you saying that you would rather leave your daughter with her alcoholic and drug addicted mother who has become physically abusive?
He's busy convincing his new victim it's not him, it's you. That way, when she starts being abused, she'll accept it as normal because it can't be him, has to be her.
I’ve been through this before, we already had to reschedule everything when I found out I was pregnant. I can’t let people go through with this again. As I’ve said, I’m hopeful that we’ll be all good by then and there won’t even be a need to postpone our wedding.
I believe we both do love each other, and I am trying to view it in that light, it is conflicting, because I know we both have done wrong and make mistakes, why not grow with one another, I seem to forget myself that it’s not us versus each other, but usually that’s how it goes
This is a symptom of a bigger problem, she doesn't think she can do wrong, so she will happily break any boundaries you have and she will honestly think she did nothing wrong, but its not that she did anything wrong, its that your feelings arn't even on her radar. A good partner would stop for a sec before they do anything, say yeh i'm doing nothing wrong, but how would my partner feel about this, or what if the roles were reversed how would I feel, thats all it takes, a second of empathy to think about how the other person might feel, and you will never going to get that with this girl sorry bro, lay it out like this to her when you break up, because when you break up, again it's nothing she has done wrong and it's all your fault, and she will tell all her friends she did nothing wrong and you were the problem.
You're absolutely right, I misused the phrase “red flag.” I more meant, this is a warning sig for the health of your relationship. But not necessarily a “red flag” about him specifically.
Paint your nails how you like them and stick to it.
You must get an attorney, and you must file for divorce from this woman and have a court put into affect an order that will bother her from interfering in your life or letting your arguments affect your children’s lives. If she does, she can be held in contempt, and if she refuses to keep this animosity from interfering with your visitation with your children, then she could have custody removed from her completely and awarded to you. It sounds like she is completely unbalanced, and the sooner you have the authorities intervene and sort things out, the happier you all will be, children included. They can feel the stress from not having you around, from her being upset, and the uncertainty of what is happening has to have them in a constant state of upheaval. If you want them to be happy, you have to get this sorted out and quick. It’s been far too long already.
Hey there chicken shit Graham,
Why you running, thought you was big and tough
He's breadcrumbing her. Keeping her as an option in the wings. He's Crossing so many boundaries, I'm not sure it would work. Do not marry him. Tell him what you saw. Admit it was wrong to snoop, but don't allow him to lead you from the issue at hand. Depending on his reaction, you'll know what to do. If he starts playing it off as nothing, you know he has no remorse, and won't change. Then, you take what dignity you have left, and move on
Maybe I can reassure your fear. My folks and I online in neighboring states, about four or five hours away. We still have an extremely close relationship. I go visit them once a month and talk to my mom on the phone several times a week. I love my parents very much and like hanging out with them, but the distance has helped me grow up (24f), and they're really proud that I have a job I like in the city I've always dreamed of living in.
Children are meant to leave their parents behind some day, but that doesn't mean you won't still have a great relationship. If you parents love and want what's best for you, they'll be excited for you to make this change. Plus, living away doesn't have to be forever. You can always go back someday, or your parents can move to be closer to you once they retire.
Good luck mate! It's gonna be awesome!
oh man this girl needs therapy
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… your boyfriend started dating you when he was 24 and you were 16? For the love of god, WHY do you think this is ok??
title says my parents
body text says his parents
What?
You could look at alanon if he's using and stealing to use im sure you can find a community of people who have dealt with the same thing
Bro code man. Jeez. You need to tell him. It's probably going to do alot of damage to your friendship though.
Thankyou for your response, I wish it was that simple but my daughter adores her mum. I also work full time and wouldn’t be able to afford childcare. She’s had the police called in her several times in a drunk state and always manages to play it off so well that nothing ever gets filled. I don’t feel like I can give my kids the life they deserve.
That's great that your daughter adores her mother. She will enjoy seeing her at her supervised visitations.
Or are you saying that you would rather leave your daughter with her alcoholic and drug addicted mother who has become physically abusive?
amen
I would’ve thought maybe he was cutting himself, but maybe that’s not the case if you online stated that he has no marks or wounds on him.
He's busy convincing his new victim it's not him, it's you. That way, when she starts being abused, she'll accept it as normal because it can't be him, has to be her.
I’ve been through this before, we already had to reschedule everything when I found out I was pregnant. I can’t let people go through with this again. As I’ve said, I’m hopeful that we’ll be all good by then and there won’t even be a need to postpone our wedding.
Today I learned Mother’s Day is a different day in the UK vs the US!
And I’m to understand that the length of time it’s been going on has absolutely no bearing on that.
He didn't delete, he unsent them, which, yes people do. I certainly do
GROOMED
I believe we both do love each other, and I am trying to view it in that light, it is conflicting, because I know we both have done wrong and make mistakes, why not grow with one another, I seem to forget myself that it’s not us versus each other, but usually that’s how it goes
This is a symptom of a bigger problem, she doesn't think she can do wrong, so she will happily break any boundaries you have and she will honestly think she did nothing wrong, but its not that she did anything wrong, its that your feelings arn't even on her radar. A good partner would stop for a sec before they do anything, say yeh i'm doing nothing wrong, but how would my partner feel about this, or what if the roles were reversed how would I feel, thats all it takes, a second of empathy to think about how the other person might feel, and you will never going to get that with this girl sorry bro, lay it out like this to her when you break up, because when you break up, again it's nothing she has done wrong and it's all your fault, and she will tell all her friends she did nothing wrong and you were the problem.
?
Call a domestic violence hotline while partner is asleep and find out if you can get an emergency ride out from a local support resource.
Call your brother and ask if they can help you get out, buy you your tickets and whatnot and let you land there until you get back on your feet.
Make a plan for packing what you can, including kitty, and get out ASAP.
Don’t bother… feedback may be a gift but some gifts get regifted.
I don’t even understand why you’re even entertaining a relationship with said sister tbh
You're absolutely right, I misused the phrase “red flag.” I more meant, this is a warning sig for the health of your relationship. But not necessarily a “red flag” about him specifically.