Your bf sucks. I give away money to my friends because I have a large allowance and they’re not as well off as I am. It’s the least I can do for having done absolutely nothing to deserve the money I have
On the very, very slim chance that this is real and not a troll, going to meet a 41 year old who followed you around at the mall and NOT telling anyone where you are going is the best way to get raped, assaulted, or even worse.
If you’re already trying to hookup with the first good looking stranger that gave you attention, then you really aren’t as “grown” as you think you are.
There are two types of people in the world. Those that leave their past in the photos of Facebook, or Snapchat, insta or whatever and those that immediately delete anything to do with any former partner or friend.
Both are correct. Neither are wrong. You be who you are and don't let someone else tell you how to be.
As much as she’s trying to make it so, you’re not responsible for her mental health, you say she loves you but you also say that she f**ked someone else behind your back.. someone that you hate no less, can you see the vindictive intention in that? Like, cheating aside, there’s a world full of men, but look who she chose.
You’re in an abusive relationship and you’re so deep in that you can’t see it. Get out before you end up like her.
This makes me worry that he might purposely sabotage birth control.
My ex never forced me to have sex without a condom, despite the fact that I was on birth control during out entire relationship. In fact he agreed that it was a good idea to be cautious as I wasn't ready for children, even though he was.
But then again he was a good man. He didn't believe in coercion or doing anything when one of us felt uncomfortable.
I'm worried about you, what you're describing reminds me of men I avoided during dating because they didn't respect my bodily rights or value my emotional safety as well as physical. Because that's what this is, BC is about your emotional and physical safety.
Congratulations on collecting all of the red flags OP.
Leave. Run infact.
He's far too old for you. He is trying to baby trap you. Or atleast, does not respect your wishes regarding contraceptives. He's cold and manipulative. He is using you to fulfil his sexual desires and does not care about you outside of that.
Honestly it sounds like you're being taken advantage of. If you want a condiments he's saying no, that's a red flag. Even ignoring the lack of intimacy or aftercare.
You went for 3 weeks with no talking and that's the only time he tried to kiss you or touch you first? He's doing the bare minimum just to keep you interested in him. Did he stop trying to kiss you first as soon as you both started talking again?
It is exhausting. I love him and we get along really well, this specific problem hasn't always been this bad but lately it's been ridiculous. He just refuses to look at it from my point of view and would rather it turn into an argument about how wrong I am vs understanding that's just how I feel and trying to make changes. Like the only option is for me to suck it up and listen to everything be about him all the time? And never be able to vent or talk about things I'm excited about? Idk. When he feels some way about something I stop everything, sit with him and listen, apologize if I made him feel some way and I remember to try my best to avoid it. Sometimes I catch myself slipping up on things and I immediately remember and apologize and explain how I meant it so there's no misunderstanding. I guess I wish he'd just pay attention and give me the same respect. Is it really that nude to sit and listen for 2 seconds? It's always after I've said literally 2-3 words. Maybe I'm just really boring lol
My niece had an emotional support pet ( cat) in her dorm. I felt bad for her roommates. They did not deserve that. But they never said anything and my selfish niece bossed them around. I had to replace one roommate’s coffee maker but that was about it.
It is very selfish of your roommate to even have the pet let alone go away and sit up with her BF for five days while you take care of it.
I am an older semester. End of the 1980 ies until 1991 I have been with a French guy for 5 years (me being German). Living with him and his family for about 1,5 years, going on holidays with them, guarding his sick grandma in the mornings, making her food, as she couldn't do that anymore.
I had quite intense talks with his mother, who was a second mother to me really and helped me develop myself according to my character and interest (correcting my French, explaining grammar, making me train vocabulary, giving me books to read that she had already read and found good. ♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️).
I new his nephews and nieces, his sister, etc. And loved them all.
After 5 years my boyfriend ended our relationship.
Which- for him- was ok. (Not that great a loss). But losing his family also was nude.
His mother made it clear to him, that his next girlfriend- now wife- was welcome to the family.
But that I was like the daughter she had always yearned for but never had. As her own daughter was “dadies girl”, which she could connect with differently than with me.
We kept contact all those years. She calls me regularly three to four times a year.
And same as back then she is and remained a very dear very close friend to me, now nearing her 100 years of age.
Do please consider that people have their own bonds.
She is like a daughter/ sister to them.
Where you should give your invasive brother a good talking to about keeping his paws out of your private love life and choices.
I would adress this at a family meeting. Stating that I feel they should rethink emotionally rehoming your ex gf as an addition to the family alright. But more as a tresured but distant relationship. Who needn't be informed about all events in everybodies private life anymore.
She kind of needs to change place.
As your present girlfriend (and maybe other gfs following her) are entiteled to get their own chance to grow into that family.
Though:
keeping a bit of a distance to ones family in the first time of a relationship seems pretty ok, also.
Where it tends to become weird is if they thought about inviting your ex for Christmas/ Thanksgiving, along with you and your now gf.
End the “friendship”. It is weird that you continue to be friends with someone you were having sex with prior to meeting the man you are going to marry. It is even weirder that he has been disrespectful towards your relationship and you wanted to invite him to the wedding. You need to ask yourself what do you gain by continuing to stay in touch. I am going to be real honest, this “friendship” seems like an ego boost for you. Cut ties and move on. Is your partner inviting his old sex partners to your wedding?
Bingo!
Your bf sucks. I give away money to my friends because I have a large allowance and they’re not as well off as I am. It’s the least I can do for having done absolutely nothing to deserve the money I have
On the very, very slim chance that this is real and not a troll, going to meet a 41 year old who followed you around at the mall and NOT telling anyone where you are going is the best way to get raped, assaulted, or even worse.
If you’re already trying to hookup with the first good looking stranger that gave you attention, then you really aren’t as “grown” as you think you are.
I was looking for this specific comment. Did not disappoint.
Yeah, just put some gas to the lighting.
A person who makes transphobic jokes is transphobic. A person who finds transphobic jokes funny is transphobic.
She says this was different because she was always in long term relationships lol….
There are two types of people in the world. Those that leave their past in the photos of Facebook, or Snapchat, insta or whatever and those that immediately delete anything to do with any former partner or friend.
Both are correct. Neither are wrong. You be who you are and don't let someone else tell you how to be.
As much as she’s trying to make it so, you’re not responsible for her mental health, you say she loves you but you also say that she f**ked someone else behind your back.. someone that you hate no less, can you see the vindictive intention in that? Like, cheating aside, there’s a world full of men, but look who she chose.
You’re in an abusive relationship and you’re so deep in that you can’t see it. Get out before you end up like her.
If you think a concert is more important than somebody that you might even end up spending the rest of your days with something is very very wrong
This makes me worry that he might purposely sabotage birth control.
My ex never forced me to have sex without a condom, despite the fact that I was on birth control during out entire relationship. In fact he agreed that it was a good idea to be cautious as I wasn't ready for children, even though he was.
But then again he was a good man. He didn't believe in coercion or doing anything when one of us felt uncomfortable.
I'm worried about you, what you're describing reminds me of men I avoided during dating because they didn't respect my bodily rights or value my emotional safety as well as physical. Because that's what this is, BC is about your emotional and physical safety.
Every time I see stories about married people under 30, I always want to ask what the fuck they were thinking.
What are you asking for advice on?
But how is that clear?
Congratulations on collecting all of the red flags OP.
Leave. Run infact.
He's far too old for you. He is trying to baby trap you. Or atleast, does not respect your wishes regarding contraceptives. He's cold and manipulative. He is using you to fulfil his sexual desires and does not care about you outside of that.
Leave. Run. Leave. Leave. LEAVE!
Honestly it sounds like you're being taken advantage of. If you want a condiments he's saying no, that's a red flag. Even ignoring the lack of intimacy or aftercare.
You went for 3 weeks with no talking and that's the only time he tried to kiss you or touch you first? He's doing the bare minimum just to keep you interested in him. Did he stop trying to kiss you first as soon as you both started talking again?
What else is keeping you with him?
For my own sanity I hope they are trolls. Otherwise we have a pandemic of teens in relationships with middle aged people.
It is exhausting. I love him and we get along really well, this specific problem hasn't always been this bad but lately it's been ridiculous. He just refuses to look at it from my point of view and would rather it turn into an argument about how wrong I am vs understanding that's just how I feel and trying to make changes. Like the only option is for me to suck it up and listen to everything be about him all the time? And never be able to vent or talk about things I'm excited about? Idk. When he feels some way about something I stop everything, sit with him and listen, apologize if I made him feel some way and I remember to try my best to avoid it. Sometimes I catch myself slipping up on things and I immediately remember and apologize and explain how I meant it so there's no misunderstanding. I guess I wish he'd just pay attention and give me the same respect. Is it really that nude to sit and listen for 2 seconds? It's always after I've said literally 2-3 words. Maybe I'm just really boring lol
You came in, heard creaking but then checked and she was fast asleep? At least make it more believable.
Tell everyone!! Friends, family and his coworkers!!!
My niece had an emotional support pet ( cat) in her dorm. I felt bad for her roommates. They did not deserve that. But they never said anything and my selfish niece bossed them around. I had to replace one roommate’s coffee maker but that was about it.
It is very selfish of your roommate to even have the pet let alone go away and sit up with her BF for five days while you take care of it.
This is a very sweet and wholesome post. I appreciate it.
?
Just to give you another point of view:
I am an older semester. End of the 1980 ies until 1991 I have been with a French guy for 5 years (me being German). Living with him and his family for about 1,5 years, going on holidays with them, guarding his sick grandma in the mornings, making her food, as she couldn't do that anymore.
I had quite intense talks with his mother, who was a second mother to me really and helped me develop myself according to my character and interest (correcting my French, explaining grammar, making me train vocabulary, giving me books to read that she had already read and found good. ♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️).
I new his nephews and nieces, his sister, etc. And loved them all.
After 5 years my boyfriend ended our relationship.
Which- for him- was ok. (Not that great a loss). But losing his family also was nude.
His mother made it clear to him, that his next girlfriend- now wife- was welcome to the family.
But that I was like the daughter she had always yearned for but never had. As her own daughter was “dadies girl”, which she could connect with differently than with me.
We kept contact all those years. She calls me regularly three to four times a year.
And same as back then she is and remained a very dear very close friend to me, now nearing her 100 years of age.
Do please consider that people have their own bonds.
She is like a daughter/ sister to them.
Where you should give your invasive brother a good talking to about keeping his paws out of your private love life and choices.
I would adress this at a family meeting. Stating that I feel they should rethink emotionally rehoming your ex gf as an addition to the family alright. But more as a tresured but distant relationship. Who needn't be informed about all events in everybodies private life anymore.
She kind of needs to change place.
As your present girlfriend (and maybe other gfs following her) are entiteled to get their own chance to grow into that family.
Though:
keeping a bit of a distance to ones family in the first time of a relationship seems pretty ok, also.
Where it tends to become weird is if they thought about inviting your ex for Christmas/ Thanksgiving, along with you and your now gf.
From the post, I honestly thought the staff believe her to be a teenager. It would make sense to point out that she isn't.
Yes absolutely! She was cheating on him with you – the poor guy is innocent, believing he has a loving, faithful gf on his hands.
Tell that man!
End the “friendship”. It is weird that you continue to be friends with someone you were having sex with prior to meeting the man you are going to marry. It is even weirder that he has been disrespectful towards your relationship and you wanted to invite him to the wedding. You need to ask yourself what do you gain by continuing to stay in touch. I am going to be real honest, this “friendship” seems like an ego boost for you. Cut ties and move on. Is your partner inviting his old sex partners to your wedding?