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OF – @JennyWillsonVIP, 29 y.o.
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Haha well hell anymore his brother might be 50 and play Xbox my buddies all do and they are 54 yrs old
I'm sorry you went through that, through everything. And I am sure its incredibly heartbreaking to realize his priority is sex and not you. Please break it off. Please get therapy if you aren't already. You have a lot of trauma that needs to be addressed and you deserve to heal. And you cannot heal from sexual trauma while being re-traumatized.
Wtf is wrong with both of you
Did you use protection? If not i’d be asking her to get a plan b. Life is too complicated for you to bring another child.
Though you did nothing wrong this doesn’t look good for you. People will question if you had something prior to your wife’s death.
Thanks for your response! There is a lot of stress ( daycare aged kids that are always frigging sick) and he had started a new job with longer hours that he has never had and is clearly tired, and we are both trying to get back into health and fitness ( we’re pulling muscles lifting empty boxes as an example lol.) I love that quote you mentioned though, we do have date nights and often I think I expect some lovin’ when we get home but the reality is we’re both usually full and gassy and tired at that point
Thank you ?
You should address your wife hitting you dude
Stop doing his laundry. Stop cooking for him. Stop cleaning for him.
Do your laundry, make yourself a sandwich, don't clean after him and only clean after yourself. See how far the mess and dirt goes and how long until he has no clean clothes.
She denied it is the interesting part because she said “she must have accidentally sent it to Ken” but how would she not know??
Yes exactly. I can see some comments in my email but can’t here .. y’all are all right . It’s putting me at risk and not caring that’s crossing the line . I’m done y’all
Woah, back up. The stress he's causing you from this is so bad your missing periods? I don't know why he's so paranoid, but that's not healthy at all. I mean stress it terrible for your health so it's literally unhealthy.
There's no reason for him to hound you like that for something out of your control, and to tell you if this thing out of your control happens, he'll leave you. Is he that mean about other things too?
I see what you are saying, I agree. So is it ok I then keep it to myself that I do not want friendship. But after leaving keep it strictly professional if my supervisor lied to me? Meaning my supervisor? On a professional level it would really bother me that he lied.
It sounds to me that, at your core, you want to progress your relationship. But your past relationship's problems have led you to fear it so much, that you're willing to rationalize yourself into sabotaging your current relationship.
That happens. Trauma is an insidious thing, and our responses to trauma can be all sorts of messed up. (That's a technical term.)
In short, to be a healthy partner, and to be able to recognize and maintain healthy relationships, you need to undo the damage the best you can and rebuild yourself with healthy behaviors, love and trust in yourself, and the like. The best way to do that, imo, is therapy with a good, intelligent psychologist. That's pricey and time consuming, but it's extremely difficult to grow in the way you need to on your own. If you want a healthy, fulfilling relationship though, you really need that growth.
There are other ways that work for some people (self realization seminars, meditation, even prayer – anything that gets you thinking about your own behaviors and feelings, recognizing issues, and building new and and healthier behaviors). But therapy with a good therapist is probably the most reliable approach.
It's true that financial issues are the main cause of relationship problems, and it's true that you two have some issues there, but they aren't insurmountable with communication, boundaries, and respect for one another. As for your kid? I'm sorry, but he doesn't get a vote – it's your relationship, not his, and you aren't getting back with your ex.
Since you are already in therapy, talk to your therapist about this. This is exactly the sort of uncertainty that they can help talk you through. Imo, work through it before you consider moving in together. There's no rush on that. Better to get to a healthy place first.
You’re right I worded that poorly. Personally I don’t think two people who plan to get married should be looking at things so transactionally anyway. I feel like once you get married anything you earn is shared property. I have a feeling op is going to have a nude time convincing their fiancé of that though.
I especially don’t think op should be paying half of anything if they’re also doing the majority of the house work.