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Oliver, Justyn, Mateo, 21 y.o.
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This is what I need to do and not speak to her. It's when you love someone you just want to work things out. She hasn't realised what she has done isn't right and her side to things. I have tried and she only demanded things from me and not what she will change.
When actions speak loud, believe them. This wasn't the first red flag
She gave him access to her home which suggests a physical as well as emotional affair. She told him she loved him. She’s been carrying on for a few months.
Not something you can get over in a few days.
When a person cheats, it’s up to them to rebuild the relationship, it’s not up to the betrayed to make the relationship work.
She needs to cut all contact with this guy. She needs to be totally open with you. Open phone and other communication devices access. Tells you her location. She needs to work out why she pursued this guy. If she felt neglected why didn’t she talk to you rather than seek attention elsewhere? And she needs to take ownership of her actions. Crying is not a useful response. She’s not the one who got hurt, you are. You’re allowed to keep questioning her until you’re satisfied you have the whole picture.
I suspect you haven’t got the full picture yet. It seldom comes out at first. Once you have then you can decide if what she’s done can be recovered from or if she’s gone too far. And if you choose the former she’ll need to implement all the steps above for her to regain your trust. Good luck.
I’d leave him. Children aren’t a reason to stay. He has made a habit of lieing. The fact that the lie is about a nude boundary you placed AND that boundary is related to an extremely traumatic experience of yours makes him the lowest of scum.
I'm so sorry, OP, the relationship is over. If you (God forbid) get married, it will only get worse.
Yeah, he pretty much explained it all very clearly: women can be either pure, saint mothers, or wh*res. No in betweens, let alone both. End of story. Classic patriarchal/machista thinking. Check that classic scene from “Analyze me”:
*(Robert De Niro as a mob boss Paul Vitti and Billy Crystal as a psychiatrist, Ben Sobel)
Dr. Sobel: What happened with your wife last night?
Paul Vitti: I wasn’t with my wife, I was with my girlfriend.
Dr. Sobel: Are you having marriage problems?
Paul Vitti: No.
Dr. Sobel: Then why do you have a girlfriend?
Paul Vitti: What, are you gonna start moralizing on me?
Dr. Sobel: No, I’m not, I’m just trying to understand, why do you have a girlfriend?
Paul Vitti: I do things with her I can’t do with my wife.
Dr. Sobel: Why can’t you do them with your wife?
Paul Vitti: Hey! That’s the mouth she kisses my kids goodnight with! What are you, crazy?*
He seems to have that prejudice ingrained in his brain and he won't shake it off.
It's a sad reality. Many men will fulfill their sexual fantasies, then despise the woman who fulfills them. I've heard it sadly far often. “If she did it with me, she'll do it with anyone, she's just a wh*re”.
If she wanted you, she would be with you. She is emotionally cheating on her boyfriend with you. Just go back to being friends and stop being strung along.
I hope so too. Sorry you’re having to go through this.
I think it’s time to go and focus on you, and just you. This relationship isn’t going to bring you joy.
I wouldn’t. “They are pretty good at sharing things” doesn’t mean they would enjoy sharing a major milestone.
First, he's too old for you. You're at a life stage for exploring the world and your place in it. He's at a life stage where he's clinging to any woman who will have him (and most, won't), with little ability to plan a future beyond that day.
You should at a minimum stop living with him, actually break up but at least, live! on your own. I recommend finding a housemate situation with other young adults, to make rent more affordable and it's also more pleasant than a solitary existence.
Your bf is a grown man. Let him worry about where to sleep. If he can't quite afford a hotel, there are men's homeless shelters. Don't cave in and let him move in with you. That's not where you need your life to be going.
She is resentful of not having the memories, of not looking back and remembering these fun times.
you know this how, exactly?
Honestly she sounds like she just needs a drama in her life.
If she's going to dye her hair (as I have done from the age of 10 and still often do) you're going to get people notice this. To me rainbow girl wouldn't have been an insult and I don't think it was in this instance. It was just him noticing something different about her.
If she didn't like it she could have said, if he didn't stop then it would have been bullying. The fact your BF has apologised as soon as he's been told it's upset her means he wasn't intentionally bullying and it was a term simply to accentuate the fact he notices her hair.
I would go as far to say it likely wasn't even proper teasing.
Your sister needs to stop being so dramatic. As does your mother.
I dont think shes upset about how much time i game, more like that i game at all. She said its the same as if she started smoking now, knowing how much i hate it. I dont think its a fair comparison though, as smoking has negative effects on health, smell and money.
Do you REALLY need to be in multiple bands? At this point it's like you're actively trying to avoid her. Which is also supported by the fact that you said in a comment you want to break up with her but just can't right now. Just be honest with her don't led her on.
Well, then, either every person with autism is a total asshole or you’re wrong.
“Massive textwall of cope” lmaoooo
I’m starting to wonder if I’m wrong to feel so strongly that it’s not okay
You aren’t
Even people who agree that age gaps like this are wrong seem to find exceptions and extenuating circumstances
There aren’t any
There’s no exception or extenuating circumstance that makes a 50 year old trying to get with a 19 year old
It’s unacceptable every time, no excuses ?
Cool. Pack your bags. Money is stupid.
Sure, I could see why that would bother someone. But ultimately it’s up to OP if she feels like talking about it, and if she doesn’t theres no way he would ever know. This is of course just my opinion, but I think if she’d rather keep it to herself then she can. It’s her business
And that's a mix of peer pressure and FOMO for you my dudes.
Your gf has reached à level of stability in her career and she Now is turning to what her private life will look like. She likes you for you and while she was hustling you were perfect… But Now she is settled things change and i see 2 reasons why : – she is really attracted to money / power Because she has some and only find stimulating people that have matching or more. – she is thinking of nesting and she sees the fact you make less as a drag to the life she could have if she was pairing with someone her level.
In all cases money is important to her and either you acknowledge that and start your own hustle or you realise your life is not only what you do or earn and convey that to her, probably means it's dead though.
Stop trying to convince yourself to stay. By saying half a year instead of 6 months, you're trying to convince yourself that's you've invested a lot of time into this relationship. 6 months is nothing
He is physically and emotionally abusive. You need to move on. You can't fix him
Yeah, might as well be your mom using your first and middle and last name. You know it’s gonna be bad! LOL
(We do that with our dogs too)
Soooo. There are just only 2 sex chromosomes. So In short your science is made up
Yep, next time he says it, reiterate that is a boundary you aren't ever going to cross and to stop bringing it up. If he doesn't respect your decision, he can leave. If he says it during sex, stol and tell him to get off and get out. He is trying to wear you down, dont cross boundaries you don't want to.
Since when is bi code for “I get to do what I want without concequences”? When did that go up for grabs?
Her mom is dating a guy who literally said he will only hire whites but you're trying to make OP out to be the intolerant one here?
lmfao.
0 self respect if you stay
Okay but dating 26 year old still doesn’t automatically make someone an “immature” 35 year old. That was the point I was originally making, and you spun it into the “most 35 year olds” narrative. This statistic also only accounts for married couples so we’re missing a lot of data on other committed partnerships.