You already knew her true colors – she was with him for his money, and she wasn't going to leave him because of it. She was cheating on him with you. You were okay with that.
She embarrassed you in a bar, and now you don't like her?
Are you telling him to assuage your guilt? Make him feel as bad as you do? Just inform him?
If you do, just be a man and tell him. Expect that he won't be grateful for the info. You won't be buds.
I certainly would not want him to go on the trip with the girl HE cheated on you with. She was an active participant but he was your boyfriend at the time so really he is the one who chose to deceive you. Him not telling you she was going is a shit move. He has known she was going but he didn’t want to deal with you being upset or bitching at him about it so he chose not to tell you until now. Now, if you tell him he can’t go you are the “bitch” or the “insecure” one and all the blame falls on you. His whole family will be upset at you if he doesn’t go. He has really set you up to be the bad guy here and it is really unfair. I would really think about if this is someone I really wanted to spend my time/life with. He has no respect for you or he wouldn’t have done this or he would’ve told his cousins not to invite the girl or when he found out they did tell them to tell her she can’t come that it is a family trip.
That is not entirely correct. Out of the 2 Week trip he wanted to see his family for like 4-5 days. The problem is that his dad got in his face, saying “Am I making you uncomfortable Dylan?” in this weird narcissistic voice. Leaving no room for us to stand up. He got super aggressive. I am very empathetic so I felt with my boyfriend and we left.
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The difference in stress comes from having to provide for everyone financially. You can't just not work when you're having a bad day vs as a SAHP you can forego doing all chores except watching the children.
There's a lot of stuff being said here that I don't agree with or that seems just wrong to me. I don't get the amount of gatekeeping there is going on about this issue, as if aspects of something can not be counted as LGBT. I've been going to a lot of conventions in my life, and I've met a lot of furries. I'm aslo an employer in tech and have several employees who are furries.
Being a furry is partly a hobby/interest for some but it's also a core part of their identity. The whole “fursona” is an aspect of who they are and how they see themselves. It's a reflection of how they identify inside. This is the exact same as how trans people see themselves. And no, I will not allow you to gatekeep how people are allowed to feel about their identity just because you think one group is more important than another. Their sexuality is also a part of their identity, they might be attracted to other furries. Their sexual identity is no different than being gay, it's an expression of who they are.
Look, I'm an older guy than like 90% of the people who post here. I don't get a lot of stuff that younger people think or are into but I am very progressive. On-line and let live. And I don't gatekeep how people feel. People have a right to feel how they do, even if I don't agree with the overall situation. If a furry feels that this is a core part of their identity and that it is how they see themselves in the mirror, that their fursona is their true self, then by all means allow that to be your identity and on-line your best you. As long as you aren't harming anyone, and there is consent for all involved, it's not my place to judge.
As for OP, read through what I just wrote and just apologize. If they refuse to talk than it's time to just walk away.
My logic was that he actually loves/cares about me and doesn’t look at me as just sex and as his future wife/mother of his children. This thread has opened my eyes that maybe I’m naive to believe that.
Imagine if you put this much effort into a relationship with a person who wasn’t a complete piece a shit. Marriage is supposed to be “work” sure, but not that much damn work. You’re not overreacting, he’s a bully. Why on earth have you put up with this shit for so long?
He is very abusive. I would leave him. I'm serious. This is not the way you talk to the person you love. Next time he says he is going to k*ll himself, ask him if he needs you to sharpen a knife. If he says he will leave, tell him good. I was hoping you would. You will never see my face again. -Promise? Please tell me that's a promise.
I was married to a man who made these threats. I was abused for years. Then I started getting strong, then stronger. I started responding this way. He stopped making those threats. I left him & divorced him. It felt so good.
This is my nightmare. I don't want kids. I would literally rather die than have a child. The thought of living with one disgusts me. The thought of carrying one makes me cringe. It's at the point where even seeing a pregnant lady grosses me out (sorry ladies, nothing personal at all).
That said, I love kids. I love nieces and nephews. I like babysitting. I like playing, I like how weird they are, I like watching kids movies. I am great with kids, they love me. My boyfriend comments on that sometimes, he likes how I am with his niblings, and it scares me, I'm so worried he will change his mind (though he assures me that won't happen).
Kids aren't something you can compromise on. Sleep on it, for a while, be 1000000% sure before you bring it up. Because if my bf said that to me, instant dealbreaker and he could never take it back.
From my personal experience, exercise for the sake of exercise just sucks. Rather than hitting the gym my wife and I will take long hikes, go play disc golf, or other activities. Way more fun than a cardio machine at a some gym.
I'm a father of three. I'm very involved with all my kids. (I'm sitting in basketball practice at the moment actually.) I go to the gym three times a week. I would lose my mind (and health) otherwise. It's all about finding balance and communicating with your wife. If she knows it's a priority in your life, she will understand and help you make time (provided you do the same thing for the things she cares about). Some gyms also have childcare.
You need to separate her going from the gym from you going to the gym. It's important to you, so make it happen for yourself. Back off of her, particularly in your own head. She doesn't want to do it. Help her find a way she likes to be healthy.
fear, culpability. Therapy taught me how feeling guilty masks your feelings and you ignore them. I felt guilty because I am in an absurd way making money and loving my job while she struggles so much to do hers. I have to deal with this choice for at least a month living with her.
Why would you ever think it is acceptable for your partner to lurk your search history ??
I agree with you but….This sub litterally suggests exactly that all the time.
Lol good point I meant some women can do it without that happening!
You already knew her true colors – she was with him for his money, and she wasn't going to leave him because of it. She was cheating on him with you. You were okay with that.
She embarrassed you in a bar, and now you don't like her?
Are you telling him to assuage your guilt? Make him feel as bad as you do? Just inform him?
If you do, just be a man and tell him. Expect that he won't be grateful for the info. You won't be buds.
I certainly would not want him to go on the trip with the girl HE cheated on you with. She was an active participant but he was your boyfriend at the time so really he is the one who chose to deceive you. Him not telling you she was going is a shit move. He has known she was going but he didn’t want to deal with you being upset or bitching at him about it so he chose not to tell you until now. Now, if you tell him he can’t go you are the “bitch” or the “insecure” one and all the blame falls on you. His whole family will be upset at you if he doesn’t go. He has really set you up to be the bad guy here and it is really unfair. I would really think about if this is someone I really wanted to spend my time/life with. He has no respect for you or he wouldn’t have done this or he would’ve told his cousins not to invite the girl or when he found out they did tell them to tell her she can’t come that it is a family trip.
That is not entirely correct. Out of the 2 Week trip he wanted to see his family for like 4-5 days. The problem is that his dad got in his face, saying “Am I making you uncomfortable Dylan?” in this weird narcissistic voice. Leaving no room for us to stand up. He got super aggressive. I am very empathetic so I felt with my boyfriend and we left.
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The difference in stress comes from having to provide for everyone financially. You can't just not work when you're having a bad day vs as a SAHP you can forego doing all chores except watching the children.
There's a lot of stuff being said here that I don't agree with or that seems just wrong to me. I don't get the amount of gatekeeping there is going on about this issue, as if aspects of something can not be counted as LGBT. I've been going to a lot of conventions in my life, and I've met a lot of furries. I'm aslo an employer in tech and have several employees who are furries.
Being a furry is partly a hobby/interest for some but it's also a core part of their identity. The whole “fursona” is an aspect of who they are and how they see themselves. It's a reflection of how they identify inside. This is the exact same as how trans people see themselves. And no, I will not allow you to gatekeep how people are allowed to feel about their identity just because you think one group is more important than another. Their sexuality is also a part of their identity, they might be attracted to other furries. Their sexual identity is no different than being gay, it's an expression of who they are.
Look, I'm an older guy than like 90% of the people who post here. I don't get a lot of stuff that younger people think or are into but I am very progressive. On-line and let live. And I don't gatekeep how people feel. People have a right to feel how they do, even if I don't agree with the overall situation. If a furry feels that this is a core part of their identity and that it is how they see themselves in the mirror, that their fursona is their true self, then by all means allow that to be your identity and on-line your best you. As long as you aren't harming anyone, and there is consent for all involved, it's not my place to judge.
As for OP, read through what I just wrote and just apologize. If they refuse to talk than it's time to just walk away.
HIV and Supergonorrea are really rampant there.
My logic was that he actually loves/cares about me and doesn’t look at me as just sex and as his future wife/mother of his children. This thread has opened my eyes that maybe I’m naive to believe that.
Everything points towards what you are saying. Feel doubts is normal.
This is either a troll post or you’re a real classy lady /s ??? women like you give the rest of us a bad name.
Has it EVER occurred to you that…
… the moment he sees it as appropriated to treat either yourself our your child the way he treats the dog, he will do so?
As he has been taught so?
Also: if there is a child around: what does it get taught?
Staying with him shouldn't even be an option for you! I am really shocked!
Imagine if you put this much effort into a relationship with a person who wasn’t a complete piece a shit. Marriage is supposed to be “work” sure, but not that much damn work. You’re not overreacting, he’s a bully. Why on earth have you put up with this shit for so long?
Yepp. Like wow. ? I’ve seen a lot, I’ve heard a lot, but I have rarely been left speechless like this…
He is very abusive. I would leave him. I'm serious. This is not the way you talk to the person you love. Next time he says he is going to k*ll himself, ask him if he needs you to sharpen a knife. If he says he will leave, tell him good. I was hoping you would. You will never see my face again. -Promise? Please tell me that's a promise.
I was married to a man who made these threats. I was abused for years. Then I started getting strong, then stronger. I started responding this way. He stopped making those threats. I left him & divorced him. It felt so good.
This is my nightmare. I don't want kids. I would literally rather die than have a child. The thought of living with one disgusts me. The thought of carrying one makes me cringe. It's at the point where even seeing a pregnant lady grosses me out (sorry ladies, nothing personal at all).
That said, I love kids. I love nieces and nephews. I like babysitting. I like playing, I like how weird they are, I like watching kids movies. I am great with kids, they love me. My boyfriend comments on that sometimes, he likes how I am with his niblings, and it scares me, I'm so worried he will change his mind (though he assures me that won't happen).
Kids aren't something you can compromise on. Sleep on it, for a while, be 1000000% sure before you bring it up. Because if my bf said that to me, instant dealbreaker and he could never take it back.
It's all Roth
Mhm, but 36 hours? With no “I need space” or “we'll talk about it later”?
From my personal experience, exercise for the sake of exercise just sucks. Rather than hitting the gym my wife and I will take long hikes, go play disc golf, or other activities. Way more fun than a cardio machine at a some gym.
I'm a father of three. I'm very involved with all my kids. (I'm sitting in basketball practice at the moment actually.) I go to the gym three times a week. I would lose my mind (and health) otherwise. It's all about finding balance and communicating with your wife. If she knows it's a priority in your life, she will understand and help you make time (provided you do the same thing for the things she cares about). Some gyms also have childcare.
You need to separate her going from the gym from you going to the gym. It's important to you, so make it happen for yourself. Back off of her, particularly in your own head. She doesn't want to do it. Help her find a way she likes to be healthy.
fear, culpability. Therapy taught me how feeling guilty masks your feelings and you ignore them. I felt guilty because I am in an absurd way making money and loving my job while she struggles so much to do hers. I have to deal with this choice for at least a month living with her.