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i have big load for you , ♥♥♥ [496 tokens remaining]
Hi! I appreciate you giving me a sincere response!!
My gf and I have read the five love languages it really did help us understand a bit about eachother. Her love language is quality time and physical touch! She loves to tell me about her day and sip some wine together when we get home. She loves to tell me silly little stories about her family and how she grew up. She loves to talk and do crafts together or go out to eat and hangout with our friends. She’s loves to decorate the house together according to the seasons and she loves to cuddle. I mean absolutely loves to cuddle. I feel like her teddy bear half the time.
For me my love languages are physical touch and quality time as well! I feel most connected when she runs her fingers through my hair after a long day or when we get into tickle fights and laugh in bed together. I love when we go out on adventures together (we live in Alaska!) I love watching movies with her or when we find a new book and we take turn reading chapters to each other. I love when we go out and dance all night. I love when she kisses me on the cheek with her soft little lips or squeezes me so tight that she starts to groan because she’s not close enough to me. I adore her
This issue is our only thing. She grew up a very non sexual person. I’m the only person she’s ever been with as the idea of sex before made her anxious. She has a weird sense about sex that I can’t figure out and she won’t tell me. I feel the most intimate and secure during sex like it’s pure human connection. Idk if I’m unrealistic or what but the damage has been done and the fight has made us cautious trying to figure eachother out. We both want to be there again we just don’t know how to navigate and we have different ideas about getting back to that space.
Is there a reason she doesn't pay? Do you insist on paying?
Sorry you had to go through this, if you love the girl, it won't be seeing another man touch her and kiss even if it was to try it out or to fulfill some fantasy. Don't put too much thought into it now, you wanted it, you tried it, didn't work for you. Never again, continue enjoying what you love to do with her.
How can you trust her when she says it was only two times? Maybe these were the o ly times the ex-friend knew about it and your wife knows this, maybe there were plenty of other time but she didn't confide with her ex friend about it, maybe she was more secretive.
My point is, you'll never know, you will never trust your wife again, for you she can be telling the truth or not, the fact that she was able to hide this from you for 10 years tells you she can hide anything from you. Your trust in her is ruined, your image of her is ruined, your memories are ruined, and your marriage is ruined. Good luck.
He has zero business being your therapist. I love my partner but there is no way in fucking hell would I ever be comfortable sharing things with them that happened to me. Especially trauma related issues.
It would be highly unethical for your spouse to be your therapist. I don’t think he’d be able to separate you as a patient and his wife. He would be bound by HIPAA and in arguments he could throw it all in your face or once he hears about your issues he may try to say your mentally unstable and he needs to have POA or something.
His reaction to you telling him no is very telling and if he’s a licensed therapist then I’d worry about his actual patients.
Ah yes, the thing my partner did with her ex:/ she and her ex made fun of me calling me names, we broke up as soon as I found out
It’s weird and if you need space you need space. I don’t want what advice we can give really, because you either learn to live with it or don’t. Or they break up eventually and the problem resolves itself. But there’s nothing you can do other than decide how much contact you’re willing to have.
INFO- wtf is wrong with him? this is very odd behavior. worst case- he's a total pos. best case- he has some type of valid reason for his executive functioning to be messed up, but it's not an inconvenience to him so he doesnt care to change
NO! No no no! She has absolutely nothing to apologize for! He enjoyed it while it was happening but afterwards his guilt got to him and he blamed her. Eww. No. Boundaries are fine, blaming and shaming are NOT.
And sorry but someone who’s 59 is of a generation who knows better. He grew up in the civil rights era. No excuses.
she just tells me shes doing her gneral associates, Ive had this exact conversation with her because in the past shes talked about doing medical billing and this would just be a certificate. to be clear, she is getting her own loans, but, if she doesnt pay for them the creditors would just come after me correct? even if we divorced after she got the loans…
I hope that you are just excited instead of being really immature,
It's understandable that you're struggling with the decision to end things with your partner, especially given the heavy issues he's going through. However, it's important to prioritize your own well-being and mental health. It's clear that this relationship is causing you a great deal of stress and emotional pain.
It's important to remember that it's not your responsibility to fix your partner's issues or to save him from himself. It's natural to want to help someone you care about, but ultimately, it's up to him to take responsibility for his own well-being and to seek help if he needs it.
Additionally, it's not selfish to bring up issues that are bothering you in a relationship. In fact, it's healthy and necessary for both partners to be open and honest about their feelings and needs. It's concerning that your partner seems to be manipulating you by threatening suicide when you bring up these issues. This is not a healthy or productive way to address relationship problems, and it's not fair for him to put that kind of emotional burden on you.
Ultimately, it's up to you to decide what's best for your own well-being. It sounds like you've already recognized that this relationship is not healthy for you, and it's important to trust your instincts. You deserve to be in a relationship where you feel respected, valued, and loved. It may be difficult to end things, but it's important to prioritize your own well-being and to seek support from friends, family, or a therapist if needed.
(Disclaimer: I'm in the hospital now, not able to type properly, and English is not my mother language, so i used AI for edits, corrections, clarity, language, spelling errors and coherence. That said – this is my advice and my thoughts. Hope it helpd. Take care of yourself first. It's not selfish. It's right.)
Yes, this. My gf and I always see or hear something and then immediately discuss if we were in that situation.
True sounds like she really doesn’t like this guy. If she can’t think of any reasons that make her want to stay that outweigh the bad then it’s something to consider. But I don’t think she should stay if it’s making her life miserable.
I wouldn’t say she was toxic, no. Was she a bit full of herself? Maybe slightly, but she knows she’s good looking. She always took a lot of pictures of herself
I did respond with something like “you look great, I hope you have a great birthday” and she didn’t reply, however she was at a bar, and I suspect was either already, or in the process of getting drunk. Not sure how to play this if I’m being honest… I don’t want to come on too strong, but also don’t want to go right back into no contact after peeking my head out after a few months.
Knowing her, I’d like to think the text was positive. But I did ask if she wanted to catch up in the first text I sent, and she didn’t acknowledge it in her response so who knows. She might just be playing it slow herself.