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Ima just gonna say it… I think she at the very least kissed him. At the very least. Her flipping it on you even if it was his idea was so manipulative. Idk how she acted in all this seems like a red flag. But what do i know. Wish you the best
Of course there are. This is just my side of the story.
I'm not looking for validation to leave my wife. Leaving her is out of the question
All marriages get shaky and get shakier when people hide their true feelings from their partner and entertain “alternate” ideas. Pull back from the coworker and double down in your marriage. Be honest with your partner and try to work things out. You all owe each other that and it will lead you quicker to the truth of what is really going on.
You just need to sit him down and speak from a mature pov, explain to him how you feel and that if you were to continue this it wouldn’t be fair to him because it would be obligation to the relationship rather than out of love.
But be open and honed in your communication then let him speak. It’s never easy to do but he’ll appreciate it much more in the long run that you communicated rather than drag it out any longer.
You’re right. I don’t want you to be right but you are.
It's absolutely about trust. If you are asking for a paternity test, you don't trust your partner. So go ahead and ask, just quit saying it should be mandatory because the rest of us aren't really interested in being a smokescreen for your paranoia.
100%. Lots of insecure men telling tall tales.
Can’t find it. EX posted yesterday.
Really nothing I didn’t think we could work through. I’m pretty heartbroken
This. Hopefully you won’t lose your friend, OP- and odds are he’ll deny this through his teeth- but I couldn’t on-line with this if it were me. Just be prepared for her not to believe you.
Because you can’t consent as minors, and the girl was apparently scared of her parents since they walked in on them. So, she went along with her parents idea of sexual assault. Depending on the situation if u walked in on ur 13 year old daughter doing the act I’d be furious. So idk 🙁
Okay, as a 31 year old guy who is currently dating a 22 year old I'm kinda shocked by the responses here…
I fell in love with a person who wasn't within a few years of my age group. My profession and career trajectory has everybody my age getting married and having kids, where I'm so far away from that (because money and no stability).
I met somebody in the same line of work who is charming, funny, unique and talented…. and I'm not supposed to date them because they're younger than me?
Age, for me, in this situation, was something I was a little concerned about for all the reasons people have shared in this thread… but when I got to know this person and she turned out to be FAR more mature than my Ex-Gf who is 29, I saw how ridiculous my concerns were.
Give this guy a chance.
Or, marry your partner early?….
She's not distraught that she did it, she's distraught you found out.
I have to agree with you on this.
This! She's distraught that you found out, not because she hurt you!
Why are you trying to consider other possibilities? Base your relationship on what's right in front of you.
divorce your wife. She's either crazy or cheating on you. That's close to bat shit crazy territory.
So his defence is ‘I only went out at weekends’ rather than ‘I would never do that’, and then he’s pissed when you want to talk about it.
Massive red flags. Just get out and move on.
Based on this post and your history, you should leave this man and his daughter alone. You're not good for either of them.
I hope they get it all in a contract. Expectations etc.
Great input ?
We’ve talked about it and we said we’ll do long distance or take a break for a year. The other issue is I believe we both should be with other people before we get super serious
Nowhere does it state that I was texting her blowing up her phone with messages every 10 minutes. She sent me a message at 7 saying that she will reply to my dinner plans after the gym. 4 hours later at 11pm I had no reply and asked if everything was ok to which she said “I'm having drinks with a gym friend”
He didn't even ask you about the hat? Just went straight to violating your privacy? WOW.
You should definitely be suspicious of his reaction, because that is extremely out of line (at best) and is never going to improve.
His paranoia or low self-esteem or whatever he feels like he felt in the moment to justify this disgusting invasion is not your problem, guy needs to be cut loose and maybe go to therapy to work on his issues before he gets into another relationship.
Tell him that your vagina is now closed to him
Not gonna happen now that you’re going for grandparents rights.
Tell him you'd really prefer a better looking, smarter partner and break up with him.
I didn’t/haven’t responded today. I feel very triggered by the message and know that me responding at this point in time won’t do me any good.
I would have an abortion, the last thing I want is for my kid to have a dad that doesn't want him
U could try counseling… if no progress then gotta divorce.
“I haven't seen this many red flags since the Beijing Olympics!”
This sounds very unhealthy, get yourself out of there.
In this entire post I didn't see a “but she's a good person” or “she's not like this all the time” or even a “we've got so much history.” You didn't give a single reason why you're with her or a good excuse why you went back to her.
What that says to me personally is that any redeeming qualities she may have had got lost in the mountain of red flags and now you can't associate her with whatever made you fall in love with her anymore.
With that and your trust being irreparably broken, you don't have a relationship. You're grasping at straws to not be alone. And being with this girl is not better than being alone. You can't fix her. You can't save her. You can't help her. She doesn't want help or affection, she wants a doormat.
If you need permission to drop her, granted. Please. Do yourself a favor.