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Bi awakening
Yeah
All good. You are working on something that you seem to care about and i appreciate that.
Your boyfriend assaulted someone and you’d rather make new friends and distance yourself than date someone who hasn’t assaulted someone
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I’m so sorry you are going through this, it must feel terrible. Please listen to the others here and rethink your plans to marry this man. Healthy partnerships don’t involve this kind of manipulation. You’re healthy and enjoy your body, that’s a blessing. Don’t let someone who is supposed to be your partner ruin that for you. Healthy body image is so important.
I've been married 38 years and neither of us would ever presume to alter the other's phone. I have no idea what her password is and that is a good thing. Plus she's iPhone and I'm Android so I probably couldn't figure out how to alter her phone even if I knew her password.
Yeah I suppose you're right. Thank you for your comments. They're really helping me process things 🙂
These situations can be tricky to navigate bc it depends on the persons involved however…to generalize…sometimes females just want you to listen to them and provide non advice support/comfort (ie a hug)
Showing empathy is great! sometimes that’s all you need to do (speaking wise) and then maybe give her a hug or Netflix and binge or do something that’s not offering advice.
Not straight away but after you’ve offered physical comfort you could offer to make dinner/do something she normally does and let her have some time to herself to do something she likes doing to recharge/process what she said to you (sometimes just saying it out loud to someone makes it real to them and they just need time to process that also).
Being vulnerable is the ‘easiest’ way to earn trust and build bonds with someone.
It’s not as easy as it sounds and you wouldn’t do at the time when she is showing vulnerability (bc it’s not a competition) but at some point maybe express to her a time when you have felt the same/similar way and share those thoughts and feelings with her (ie how did it make you feel, what did you did to overcome it…etc)
it doesn’t have to be the same thing more about recognizing the feelings she is expressing to you and then providing an example of a time when you felt like that and how you ‘overcame’ it – you don’t even need to have overcome it, if you haven’t tell her, be honest.
It’s also about how & what you say & when you say it. You can offer advice but try not sound like that the solution/method you used/are proposing is what she should do (we are all different after all).
It sounds tho, despite your social awkwardness you are aware and willing to learn how to be ‘better’, which is GREAT!
I highly recommend seeing a therapist to work thru your ‘limitations’. There is nothing wrong (& so much more to gain) by seeking assistance in areas that are outside your current knowledge scope.
Tbh I wish I saw one earlier.
Self improvement never really stops and life likes to throw us curve balls…knowing & loving yourself is the key to knowing & loving others…enjoy the ride yolo
You say you're fine dating older men. Then you're shocked he lied to you and was abusive.
Exactly what type of guy did you think dates early 20s women when they're much older? They'll either be abusive controlling people that want an easy mark, or someone that only sees you as a breeding mare who other women his own age won't give the time of day.
This is the type of stuff you sign up for when you date older people. It's rare to meet a good person that's targeting someone young. Extremely rare.
Why would you marry her knowing this isn't going to change?
He’s making the problem him against her instead of him and her against this issue.
No he isn't?!?!? The reason why he feels this way in the first place is that she is being dismissive and not taking his issues seriously in the first place. OP isn't making this a Him Vs Her thing she is.
Technically speaking, not having a relationship is a “non-conventional” relationship. Send her packing.
Your son will be miserable and mentally ill if you keep this abusive relationship going.
If you can sacrifice your son health and fail him, then you keep goin this relationship
You don't have a boyfriend you have a possessive pen pal. Leave and find a proper relationship.
Where's your logic in thinking you should introduce him now specifically because your mom saw a hot? What were you waiting for in “meaning to introduce” him at any other time?
Next, what does your mom mean by a “guy like him?”
I remember your post the first time and I’m just confused as to why you’re posting again. It doesn’t change the fact that you are wrong . What did was wildly manipulative. You know in your heart what needs to be done and that’s to leave him alone.
I'm sure you don't want to abuse anyone but “not being able to handle disrespect” is language often used by those that can't control their temper and that's what leads to abuse when problems come up as they always do eventually.
Cheating four months in is a bad sign hombre. The fact she blamed it on her mental state is also not good. Is she going to cheat everytime she is feeling ways about things?
A lot of people default to break up. Personally I like to take into consideration the how, what, why, when and who.
Her why (because feelings) and when (only a couple months in) are just not really reassuring, to the point that for me the how, what and who wouldnt really matter.
I think the way you present your question might be the issue, and the reason he can't come up with an answer.
Try wording it differently, and explain what you mean, if you didn't do it already.