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And for the record, it wasn’t an easy breakup. But we did some work and, after some time, we became friends.
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The quote says nothing about sex. It says all the housework he does, how he pays for everything, how he cooks every night, how he gives massages every night. Why aren't you paying for your share, cooking, or doing chores?
My partner is Asian and has asked me several times why I won't visit or talk to my parents. I remind him that it's a choice and what they did to me doesn't deserve forgiveness.
He is just sad that I'm not close to them and that it's not something he he has ever experienced.
However your bf is a dick.
There are some very innocent fantasies e.g. cop and prisoner.
But this type of fantasy I would not be happy with entertaining at all. I would always be feeling urgh that I’m not everything to her. Personally dealbreaker but your choice
but sex is a crucial part of marriage
I mean, it can be important, but if someone is unable to have sex, the relationship needs to be able to survive.
Why are you fighting more? Is it one of you more than the other of you that is pissy because they aren't getting laid?
My ex husband was a raging asshole when he didn't feel like he was getting the sex he “needed”. To the point if pressure even if idnhad medical procedures, or after is given birth and had a tear. I will NEVER tolerate any kind of jerkish behavior at not getting sex again. I love sex, if I'm not having it, there is a reason and my partner needs to be able to understand that.
you literally said they made jokes about how a girl who is 18 is “too old” for them. as the comment you replied to said, you realize other girls who want to go down the same career path with be subjected to these “jokes” and your whole “as long as it isn't happening to me anymore” mentality is going to make things worse. fuck his career, stand up for others. just because it doesn't bother you, doesn't mean it doesn't bother anyone else. it's gross and “boys will be boys” is such an outdated way of thinking. you're excusing their “jokes” with that attitude. it's gross.
… talking to another woman on Snapchat. The messages were saved and very sexual.
Our relationship his one worth lots of problems and toxicity. I feel like it’s either extremely great between us or it’s hell. he’s always been one to call me names as soon as he is pissed off
I don't think any child deserve to grow up with parents where the relationship now and then is like hell. Or when one parent is allowing the other to call them names. Should your child learn that it's ok to be treated like that? Or learn to treat others like that?
“To my knowledge, no one has ever acquired an STD on the toilet seat — unless they were having sex on the toilet seat!” says Abigail Salyers, PhD, president of the American Society for Microbiology (ASM).
You already can't trust her cause she was exchanging sexy photos with him. This being tip of an ice berg I imagine.
Have you seen their other messages(has she shown you them)? Are they still in contact? Is she deleting their messages as they go? If any answer is yes that is just confirmation.
Unless you can somehow confirm she is telling the truth you should break up. With the trust gone for understandable reason, relationship can't survive.
The power dynamic in your relationship has been forever altered. There’s no going back to the place where you trust her blindly. It’s a bitter pill, but at some point you’ll have to swallow it. Do you want ti swallow it now, or waste another 30 years first?
“She's a great woman.” Dude come on. You can't take a dog outside for even 15 minutes? Yeah, real fine woman OP bagged up huh…
Yeah but I have always been alone all my life. As I mentioned to someone else, I have 0 family members and even when I was young, absolutely no one to talk to. I think I enjoy the solitude? I really don't know unless I get out of here. I will update in 2-3 months 🙂 Thank you
Never said love, i said feeling. I don't have a right term for it yet.
Im just going to assume that you're american? Then date europeans and us Scandinavians in prticular, most of our dudes are pretty much what americans would consider feminist and strongly for equal rights.
He’s a porn addict. If he won’t go to therapy for it he’s not worth your time.
>Obviously over time people open up more, but the more we hang out the more I feel he’s bisexual (or wants to explore it)
It's your feelings. Your feelings may not be facts. If you don't like his actions (liking pictures of cross dressers, watching gay porn, etc.) then break up with him. If you don't like bisexual people who are in exclusive relationships (I think you two are exclusive) then break up with him. If you think he's lying about his sexuality, and that's a boundary, then break up with him.
Marriage is special to most people. Even if they have sex before. Did not appreciate that lofty comments from OP.
I appreciate this message! It’s unheard of for an Igbo man to mistreat his daughter’s suitor like that. That’s not our culture at all. I’m still quite shocked by this post.
The techniques might still apply
lol dude your posting on reddit in regards to how you are feeling regarding your girlfriends pregnancy? Here is some real advice.
A) Do whatever you want. People here will all howl “Her body her choice like dumb monkeys”. This will happen no matter how you are feeling or what your actually intent is.
B) You want to convince her to carry the baby or tell her you will break up with her if she doesn't. DO IT. It doesn't really matter one way or another. Everyone here will blame you regardless
C) Never ask for relationship advice as a man on reddit. Most people here are sexist pigs in every scenario. Remember YOU had sex, but she gets to decide.
Thanks for a detailed response.
Nothing in there that tells me to change my guess or double down, so I'd tell you to stay cautious.
And take your best friend's advice. I suspect his instincts are on the mark – don't take his words lightly.
This can't be fixed. If you have to talk someone in to anything sexually it's a bad idea and you shouldn't do it. You still had a chance to salvage the first time he left, if you would have ended it there you may have had a chance to save the relationship but you disregarded his feelings and forced him to do something in the bedroom he didn't want to do.
You can fix this by letting him heal, away from you and take this lesson into your next relationship. Anything other than a resounding yes, is a no.
Jesus Christ it’s not fake. None of it is! I would not be wasting my time like this at all.
Dude a girl who dates 5 guys at the same time would definitely not be my first choice…. And girl who “did stuff” with someone else a few days before me would also not be ok with me. But the beauty of life is that you are different than me, and you can accept what is ok for you…. Can you online with this?? If you can them hey this may be the woman for you…. It you cant then there is your answer…. Hope it works out for you Buddy.
Its still a red flag even if she cares about his emotions. He shouldn't get married until he sorts himself out. They need to STOP and decide what to do. Thats what a red flag is.
I could just as easily say you don't care about women marrying dudes who clearly aren't ready for it.
I pray you find a place to online away from the to ic vampires.
Hey thanks, I tried DRG and thought it was neat but forgot about it. I will give it another go.
I online in a country with public healthcare and it’s still not covered. It’s between 50-80k.
One thing that a lot of people don't know about or bother with is that if your current therapist is working for you, you can and should switch. Finding a therapist that you really click with makes an enormous difference.
As for your boyfriend, it would be very strange if he wasn't depressed. Not being on meds and smoking pot will, without a doubt, lead to severe depression. Sadly, not being on the right meds and smoking or drinking is one of the biggest problems that people with bipolar deal with, especially younger bipolar people.
Point blank, until he stops smoking pot and starts seeing a psychiatrist and starts taking his meds, he's not going to get better.
Sorry if this is coming across as harsh, but I've been dealing with my bipolar for 30 years. I know what I'm saying is true. I hope things work out for both of you, but please, don't make his bipolar your responsibility. In the long run, it will only drag you down.
Should I give him space and hope he comes around or just leave things be and move on?
Since this is what you actually asked, it's what I'll answer instead of providing judgment on the situation.
You should leave things be and move on. You two only dated a few months and were still building trust. Trust is a very delicate thing in the early stages of a relationship and when it's ruptured so thoroughly it's nearly impossible to repair. Even if you two were to get back together, he would likely always have a fear in the back of his mind that if you weren't getting what you wanted you'd find a way to manipulate him into it, especially as you used “Olivia” to message him even while you were together. That indicates that it wasn't just a tool to lay the groundwork, you were also willing to employ it when you had already established a relationship.
As others have mentioned, therapy is vital here. I think while you're waiting on seeing a therapist you should take some time to sit with yourself and figure out why you thought that it was appropriate to manipulate his emotions like this. You can only modify your behavior on a fundamental level if you understand where it came from.
Well no shit, you stay with someone that cheats and lies and manipulates you then youre shocked that he keeps lying and manipulating you??? Like what advice do you want us to give you? You do understand that this isnt something you can fix. You can go to therapy all you want but it isnt going to fix your bf's issues lol. You don't want to leave him then just deal with it because thats what he's always going to do and you will never be able to trust him. Sorry if I sound mean but some people here have absolutely no self respect. Whats the point of going to therapy if you keep letting people treat you like shit. Wake up, you're a grown ass woman
Oh wow! Thanks for the info!
Yeah it was weird. It might have happened while she was sober, but was hot to tell. After smoking and drinking was when it got weird.
Why would you have to let anyone with a mirror know that?
wow, he has “been lying about years of addiction”? that’s scary levels of deception. there might be even more closets. how well do you even know him? also, has his behavior changed since you got married because if he behaved like this before, why did you marry him? if his behavior has changed since you guys married, definitely get divorced right away — not even worth going to therapy.
Not living like a single person is a perfectly natural progression for someone who is not single. Your boyfriend sounds like a good influence, and your description does not make him sound controlling or manipulative.
Verdict: your relationship is healthy, and your roommate is lonely and/or unfulfilled
You are for the streets
I do online in the US. I may have to just keep calling vets even if they are farther away if I have to drive several hours.