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If she truly loved you, she would respect your feelings rather than make excuses. It would be an us or them situation for me. She needs to back up what she says with actions.
If your work load didn't change due to her staying home why is it a big deal for you to still do the chores you were doing before?
Exactly. He seems to think that her work load has lessened, when in actuality she went from working 9-5 to working 24/7. You don't clock out of parenting.
Have you tried good rx for your prescription? Also you can call the company and probably get your meds at a reduced cost.
I agree, not only did he do it, he recorded it.
No you aren't. If you were, you wouldn't have flirted, agreed to go out, or actually gone out with this other woman.
If, while drinking with a friend, you found someone interesting enough, attractive enough, that you would want to flirt, go out, or more, that's your sign that your feelings for your wife are gone.
You're trying very hot to keep an image, a role, a title when both parties are checked out.
Yes!!! It gets so much worse!!! My ex used to say he didn’t believe in divorce. I always said I didn’t want one as my parents were divorced. Apparently the mask starts slipping off at the engagement and gets lost after the wedding. Now stands before you a next level AH that you never knew could possibly exist. THAT’S JUST THE BEGINNING it only gets worse and more dangerous.
Stay safe OP. Glad you got out. DO NOT LOOK BACK
Thank you very much for your detailed answer.
Having time to myself is exactly what I need. I tried to explain to her. But she keeps saying that she will not be there when I come back ( if I come back).
Having resent and regret not to have taken this time for me while having a baby is my biggest fear. 8 years of relationship has changed me a lot and I don't know what makes me happy anymore. I want to find this balance. Of course I still love her and I wish I can find back the mindset that brought me here.
I clearly want to work on my wrong beliefs to be more balanced myself. I want to take out of my head the “perfection” obsession as I am not perfect myself. If you take care of yourself, you will take better care of the others.
I had some issues to tell her what I really want and need. But through each new talk, I manage to be clearer on this. We need to talk even more than now to see if we really are incompatible, even for sexual matters.
And speaking about fatherhood, I wonder if we ever feel ready at some point in our life. What would be the required qualities to be a good father ?
Do you regret being born to this world?
Your girlfriend won't react well, because your reason is stupid. Bullying is something children of any skin color can be victim of. This is not to mention your children will have their parents to support them properly and you can cooperate with authorities to deal with racism.
Do you want to validate racists that have tormented you? Will you allow them to deny you biological children?
I had a talk with her just now. she admitted it was wrong of her to bring up a topic but her point was that we casually talked about my past before so why is it a problem now she doesn't understand and she thinks I sometimes get angry about and sometimes I don't so it's difficult to know what exactly is at fault. I admitted to her that I was over the line in reacting too much. I said you probably never had a relationship where one guy is so committed, The main final point was she made a mistake unknowingly and i made a mistake intentionally by reacting too much so I apologized to her. I was looking to solve this as fast as possible You could be right but it hurts kind of because there is definitely so much chemistry and understanding between us. Everything feels perfect about the relationship but it does feel like when I talk about my feelings take the backseat and I apologize in the end
How did I not communicate properly?
We decided to go to my place and then my gfs place. My gf decided to postpone my place so I told her that I wanted us to go to my place first as she has picked everywhere we've been. How could I have communicated that any clearer?
yup yup I agree completely
Not enough, if you still can't stop yourself from demanding to invade your BF's privacy!
Don’t let what he does or doesn’t do sabotage what you’ve worked so very hot to accomplish. Try to compartmentalize the issues and go through all the possible scenarios so you have a pre-determine solution ready. Is the place yours or his? If it’s his, you can ask if you can stay and both be civil until you complete your studies or see if you can stay with your parents or something so you can focus on masters. If it’s your place, you can decide if you can focus with him there or ask him to leave if him being there is too stressful. Prioritize your education right now. If you think it would help, maybe consider therapy to help you organize your thoughts and process your heartache while keeping it in check so you don’t derail yourself. I’m sorry you’re dealing with this.
Hillary Clinton said “it takes a village”. The message here is that having a successful relationship with an SO isn't complete without attachement to your community. I don't agree with her politics, but she is a hugely intelligent, talented, successful woman. GF's social circle is important to both of you because she is happier in association with them. She is happier makes you happier. IMO you should move to her neighborhood first, then online together when her lease expires. Everyone deserves to be happy. Best wishes.
yeah, i really need to know what came before you asking him that question bc if you were putting words in his mouth then i can see why he responded equally immaturely. Context matters.
This is going to blow up so very hot no matter what choice you make.
Leave bro. This can’t be fixed. I’m sorry, this isn’t your fault, but you have to leave now if you aren’t trying to get your feelings hurt.
Maybe try to talk about before it happens again. Emotions might be too high in the moment, so sitting down and having a calm, thoughtful examination about what this means to you and her will help.
You shouldn’t date people, hun.