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Birth Date: 1988-01-01
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I would not let this go. He could have killed someone or wound up in jail.
That's a test of loyalty. Just tell your gf what about change of caledar and do any other time. . Because tell her if she you with her sister maybe your sister try to get some from it and maybe cost her (gf) in a long term and won't be your own faults and don't want to deal with bright it everytime she got mad or her periods… You know buddy it is all what you say..
Right? The comments that are shitting on the gf for having a boundary against porn are irritating to read. Porn addiction quite literally ruins relationships. It's not an overreaction to become upset about that boundary being broken
Let's unpack things she's very insecure to the point masterbation and porn makes her feel unneeded that's something you need a therapist to get to the root issue on. my guess is probably from living in an Evangelical society that freaks out over breastfeeding while screaming it's a wife's duty/sole purpose to fullfil her husband's needs and internalizing that message to some degree. She's crying and having fits over this which isn't a normal reaction even for those in the porn is bad boundary camp it's either serious issues she needs to again talk to a professional about or something more sinister as being manipulative as crying makes people uncomfortable but gets them to cave.
Then we've got you throwing up over this which isn't healthy. You accepting boundaries you're not comfortable with even though technically they're not boundaries as they remove bodily autonomy on an activity that only involves yourself. None of this is sustainable for either of you as she's so insecure she's not even emotionally ready for a real relationship and you're making yourself sick. No matter how much energy you waste on her she's going to be insecure because she's not working on it and it will impact your health negatively. This will never be a healthy dynamic but you both can improve for yourselves.
Here's some food for thought if she's this insecure now what's stopping her from banning you from looking at all women or people in general because it makes her insecure and there's a possibility your realize you're not straight? I've known women just like her they're toxic to date as the insecurity isn't worked on but enabled. it starts with porn then it's something else like if your boss is a woman you have to quit as she's insecure and it always spirals into abusive territory of cutting off all friends.
I'm not talking about a specific person, but the issue society has as a whole.
You denying that such a problem exists, and pushing the ENTIRETY of responsibility on those that fall victim to that rhetoric is quite mean.
Yeah, sadly had to stop therapy a while back due to work and college not leaving me enough free time to keep attending, but im hoping to resume when i can. And yeah, i do have very little self love
If you think he is the nicest guy and think you can handle it, please go to his friend and ask if you can support him. Be his friend yourself. Only if you can handle it mentally and otherwise of course. But nobody deserves to die alone.
Leave the house
Just say that youve been working out extra because you wanted to be confident that you could toss her duting sex whenever you wanted too! Shell be happy that you put the work in just for her
Then no. He is not doing too much for his own damned kids! My goodness.
Marriage counseling.
There is nothing you can do to get her back. She's done with you. Just deal with it and learn from this experience.
Nice “friends” you've got, there. You might want to consider associating with people who aren't mysogynistic assholes.
Wouldn’t he had to have typed it out incorrectly twice for it to be a typo?
And what exactly are you going to do when he is out in society soon hitting and biting other people's children or worse escalating that violence?
That’s baloney. It’s all about control. You start giving kids choices around 1 year-18 mo. “You can put your shoes on yourself, or I can help you, but you are putting them on.”
Let her go.
You need to tell him.
Its not cheating but it is lying. Start by asking if slept with anyone whilst you were apart. If the answer is yes then your worries are over. If the answer is no then it opens the door to your admission. Don't be bullied. If he wants to break up thats fine but you were single and did nothing wrong.
Not necessarily correct, it would be an opinion without any facts to back it up. It is just STFU and let the others be who they are. I was interested in what a therapist would say and if he would give other examples of him being angry. What did you get?
But why does he like to make me jealous? Once I asked him if he knew mariano and monique (2 guys) and changed their names and said who mariana, Monica??
Why do this?
Is the coordinator a man?
A lot of times you can get a quick and favourable divorce if your spouse cheated.
And she sent him photo proof. I hope he takes her to the cleaners!!
I think your husband owed it to you and your kids to be faithful. Therapy would be off the table for me. I’d file for divorce because cheating is a dealbreaker.
Bro this is the most obvious twisted made up fiction. You’re too obvious of a shitty writer, go touch grass.
No – this just isn’t true. It’s one thing in a jokey tone to your mates. In an angry snap at your partner it’s clearly, absolutely never okay. How much if a problem swearing at someone is is a tonal and situational thing, and that it’s colloquially okay to use that word sometimes doesn’t mean it’s okay by default until after a person objects. This one is cut-and-dried unacceptable.
To everyone going “oh it was long ago, oh it's just silly things, bla blah”
This person is already actively engaged in destroying the OPs relationship with the family.
The situation described where she follows the op into the house and then pretends something happened and she runs away? This is setting the OP for 1. Being hated by the whole family, 2. Potential future assault charges.
OP: please make sure you're not around her ever again. This person is a full psychopath and I would not be surprised if dating your cousin turned out to be a ploy to get to you and fuck you up permanently.
Yeah. I'd dump him, too. You don't just go out and sleep with other people. If he thought you'd be okay with it, there should have been a discussion with boundaries. You need to get help for your trauma, and it may be time to let that guy go. What he did is selfish at best. He doesn't seem remorseful, and you deserve better. Also, don't offer that again. Get into a relationship AFTER you have dealth with your trauma.
No not boring, it sounds like you’re levelling out and she isn’t. I’d say maybe you should tell her what you’ve told us, that her style of socialising isn’t yours any more. See how she takes it. If the heavy drinking etc is more important to her then you know what to do.
she always yells at me and curses at me in disagreements
Why are you staying with someone who verbally abused you?
This doesn’t sound like “I’m reevaluating the place of belief in my life” – those videos are fringe beliefs. Given his family history, I think the writing might be on the wall.
Given this is new you might want to try engaging in conversation to see what’s changed in his worldview and see if you can pull him out of it. But, as someone else has said, I’d be getting my finances/plans in order if a breakup happens. It’s going to hurt, but it sounds like you’ll be grieving the man he was, not the man he currently is.
It sounds like agoraphobia. He needs to see a doctor then. I think he can have virtual visits with everyone nowadays: GP, psychiatrist, therapist.. if not – drive him there.
He needs your help, not your contempt. Think about what would you expect from him if you were emotionally or mentally unwell.
On and his friends, just like him, are a little more extroverted then I am. It's usually noisier and when someone goes on for a while, they'll just interrupt eventually or start a new conversation at another corner of the table. So no, he can't do that there.
You can have kids without him if it’s that important. Do not hang around just to have kids with him. The environment the child would grow up in would be…. Not great.
A couple of rants regarding having babies after 30.
Most of the data used to make the argument that older women are at greater health risks is due to the simple fact the mothers had chronic health conditions prior to pregnancy. Lesson: exercise, eat well, moderation in most things over the course of years before having a baby positively affect outcomes.
The medical community hasn’t caught up with the fact that many women have lead healthy lives into their 40s. At least in the U.S. we know medicine treat women very poorly. So, unfortunately some very old ideas hang around and make the situation worse for women.
If having babies is very important, consider getting eggs frozen. They do some genuinely remarkable things in IVF. Only my opinion, but, I consider this a good idea in general because it gives you options.
Source: parent to child whose mother was 40 at the time.
Sounds like he’s just not that into you….or you’d be engaged and married and living together and getting ready for this baby together. Given the age gap, he probably figures he can just keep you on the side and you’ll put up with it—because you have.
People can be good coparents without hanging out all the time or talking all the time. He’s dating her again.
Block her.
Then no more problem
Not at all. I’m not even going to read this. If you’re married and it doesn’t pertain to kids, work or a hobby of sorts, you shouldn’t be exchanging numbers.
Yes, but OP would need a minimum of 500,000 USD in investments for Fisher Investments to be interested in OP as a client.
absolutely. it took my bf some time of me actually sitting down to express I AM trying to work on it all, but something else might be wrong and I’m trying to figure it out and I needed him to be there for me while I did try.
I’m not sure how you two talk, but maybe he thinks you aren’t trying. or he currently doesn’t know the correct way to help. have you told him how you need support?
Multiple times a day for 7 years W T F
Omg, that sounds horrible. Good for you I guess. Unless you're not in the mood… Well then boo for you yay for him…
Do you really want to keep up this pace from now until your dead? Doesn't being pressured and his attitude towards not getting his dick wet enough TURN YOU THE FUCK OFF?
Spacing…please. it's hot to read. If on cell..leave an extra space between paragraphs. Thanks