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QueenBeeky, 31 y.o.
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That sounds really toxic, I’m sorry.
But on the other hand, if she going away anyway, why not have the discussion? Tell her that she needs to be willing to discuss this when she gets back? If she’s going away anyway, may as well hit two birds with one stone.
Saying this ‘is how she deals’ with confrontation is generous. From an outside perspective, it seems pretty manipulative.
Being in a relationship or in love doesn't mean that our brains do not react on other people anymore. Everyone still finds other people attractive or harbours thoughts of getting sexual with them. What your girlfriend did is nothing else then men saying the wouldn't 'push a hot girl from their bed side'. She acknowledged that she finds that guy attractive. If she acts on it is entirely her decision and the difference between someone being faithful or a cheater.
OK I'll tell her that
I still like some pics/videos of people I find attractive, but the disconnect here is that he's not stopping even though you've asked. If my bf asked me to stop doing that, I would. He obviously doesn't respect your boundaries and it kind of sounds like he's doing it more on purpose to make you upset/jealous. I think it is time to have one more serious talk about how, if this doesn't stop foe good, the relationship is over. Or, even better, just ending it now.
At least the divorce will be reasonably painless as you haven't been married long enough to acquire many joint assets.
Just curious, but did he get any alone time with your husband? I mean if this is the kind of guy who would fuck a teenager when he's almost 30, I can definitely see him saying something to deliberately cause trouble.
I mean, either way, your husband is WAY overreacting. I kind of, KIND OF, understand him being freaked out that a pretty significant relationship was never mentioned, but getting so loud and angry that you almost got kicked out of the hotel? Going through your phone? That shit is NOT ok
Why would I raise someone else’s child? Lol
I'm not arguing, just confused. Why would the mother need to wait to sign the birth certificate? Or am I misinterpreting your first sentence?
I am in total agreement with all that you have said. Thanks.
I might as well need to start doing that. It’s a bit petty. She said she’ll get me something as a new years gift. I also have my birthday in February, so I’ll see if she changed at all before her birthday in May.
This is heartbreaking. I always had dogs in my garden growing up. My parents would always save them from the streets (in east Europe they walk freely in the streets). One puddle mix I had for years. I grew up with her. She was the happiest, cuddliest dog. One day she bit my cousin on her leg, out of nowhere. That same day my dad took her away and dropped her at our cousins farm. He took me too so I don’t question him his whole life where she is. I was sad, especially cause I was like 9/10 years old. But even I knew the dog had to go.
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Why not hire a housekeeper to come in and do the housework, since you are obviously concerned that it is not getting done? You do say you are earning more than you ever had before. Give your wife time to heal fully, mind and body before you write her off because she isn’t keeping up to your standards. Believe me when I say, as a single man paying to raise 4 kids alone, it will take a LOT more out of your salary than a housekeeper now.
You we're groomed.
They know girls with Daddy issues will fall for them. You didn't seduce him. He waited until you fell for him to show that he had interest un you, so you'd thought you we're the one doing the seducing.
No 22yo connects with a 15yo unless they're trying something shady. There's too much dfference in madurity.
Good luck with this. The good news (if any) is that if you do decide to end it, she's already halfway there in terms of being shocked or surprised. These are REALLY hot when you know the person will be gobsmacked. Trust me on this!
Also, one final idea. You've probably done this, but if you have a close trusted friend or sib, talk to them about all of this. Sometimes friends see things we don't.
Well I’m not sure if she’s doing it intentionally or not….for the reasons I mentioned.
I see her saying “I don’t wanna” as her freaking out because he embarrassed her with his approach.
You are coming from a real place of privilege here my friend. There are people out there who struggle to make their bills. There are families that enforce flushing policies to save money. Is it everyone? No. Not even the majority. But this is a thing that happens. If she grew up in a house like this, she’s used to not flushing. Which is why I wouldn’t shame her like he did.
Who knows what else has happened that she didn’t disclose to this particular friend, or anyone at all?
Man, I can’t wrap my head around why you’re trying to minimize or invalidate what this dude is going through.
If just the site of photos gets to her (he was just scrolling through his phone, not purposely going to them to reminisce), then she's not emotionally mature enough for a relationship.
If she's upset that he has a past, then that's an unrealistic expectation.
It doesn’t matter how long you’d been together. If you were sharing finances, the decision impacted her too.
Divorce him!!
Next time, bc there will be a next time, Tell her move to a top floor apartment and to not speak to you anymore, then shut the door.
do you want to deal with a covert narcissist for the rest of your life? is she truly is one, she will make it hot on both of you as long as you’re around.
There is a guy out there waiting to treat every inch of you like a goddess. You’ve given and given and it’s never going to be good enough.
Divorce him and online your life before it’s gone.
The crying probably has nothing to do with her still having feelings for him, and more about the 4 years she wasted being with him. This is the age she probably wanted to be settled down and possibly starting a family and shes watching him take a big life step that she hasn't yet. Women feel more pressure to get married and start a family younger then men do. Women a lot of times feel like we're on this timer to accomplish all these big things (our bodies let us know that as well).
I'm sure that it still feels pretty raw and embarrassing for you that she burst out crying in front of her friends while you were there, but I bet it totally has nothing to do with her having feelings for him. Feel your feelings and take some time to calm down until you can think straight.
She's 29 with no marriage proposal in site at the moment, and maybe her life isn't what she had planned it to be at this age.
I know when I hit 30 and was going through a rough patch financially it was really hot for me to see my friends and family buying new houses and going on family vacations. It felt like a gut punch even though they were people I wanted to see have happy lives it still made me feel bitter that my life wasn't at that level yet. I'm much older now and been married a very long time and can tell you that 29 can be a rough age when it comes to seeing other people move forward.
Just talk to her, thats what people in good longterm relationships do. She may just be feeling left behind by others. And yes I've cried in public before, sometimes it just comes out and you can't help it.
Stay. Things run their course sometimes and it's nobody's fault. It sucks because the inlaws will make you the villain. After all, in their eyes you kinda are. There won't be any backlash. You probably won't see them again anyway. Your happiness should be the number one priority. Everybody's should be. Your husband is in a tough situation but he's doing what's making him the happiest in a way. Why shouldn't you? This is the rest of your life we're talking about. When it comes to life-changing decisions we have to be selfish sometimes. If you go you're not going to be happy. Read what you wrote and pretend it's someone else's situation. What advice would you give them?
Maybe have a small, intimate (destination?) wedding with just family and close friends where you do a quiet dinner afterwards. That would be her style and would be the official wedding. Then throw a reception or celebration back at home where you can invite everyone you want and have a giant party. It won't be her “real wedding” day so she can keep that private, but you can still have the networking and social event you want.
Good point. I read texts she sends to her ex about me, she says things like she is happy with me, Sex is great and weirdly enough she goes brief detail of how good I’m.
My theory is they fuck when he comes home for couple weeks after 6 month’s deployment. Rest of the time she was with me
I'm sorry but I'd say he had every chance to stop this with her, and he only doing to now to save face, ones you take him back he will unblock her again and carry on.
Speak to a lawyer and start divorce proceedings don't waste anymore time on him, also block his number and stop all communication until lawyer is involved.
He flew this woman into you home town to fuck her, I would even consider reconciliation.
Tell him.
I gave you one too many opportunities, you are all out of chances, I am done being disrespected, as far as I am concerned you can unblock her and carry on your affair because you will be free to do as you please soon enough.
He fooled you back before, don't be nieve again. Block him move on and stop wasting time a d years on a man that doesn't respect you
OP, there have been several posts this year where the male partner asked, the woman declined, the man said, totally fine, I love you! But the woman couldn’t ever see him the same way and was seriously thinking of breaking up. So it’s a big risk. Better to talk as if your work colleague is doing that (act surprised rather than interested), and seeing what reaction she has.
He said it’s because he’s something he “deeply desires” so I should just give in, instead of digging in my heels.
For me, this isn't about the name but what he said right here!! Holy red flag batman!!
So, the company is catching up with the times and you find that suspicious?
I remember a few years ago she was telling me that looking at porn was cheating on her. Man, that messed me up. I refused to listen to it, but still messes with my head. She said it was me putting other women above her.
Some people consider watching porn to be crossing a boundary in their romantic relationships. There's nothing wrong with that imo. But that's a boundary that needs to be agreed upon and respected by both sides.
That aside, your wife is either a fucking nutjob, or your relationship has turned her into one. My guess is that she's extremely sensitive/insecure about sexual gratification (specifically – you experiencing it without her) and should have known this about herself before even agreeing to be in a relationship with you. The way you reacted to her sensitivity to it in the beginning of your relationship was not enough to calm her anxiety, probably because the two of you do not have the same perspective on sex and masturbation. Neither of you were “wrong” in the beginning necessarily, you were just incompatible.
But at this stage, frankly it sounds like you're both kind of shitty. She has become abusive because she couldn't cope with the way you reacted to her anxiety about your masturbatory experiences, and in fact, your reactions seem to have made her more anxious. You've become so emotionally damaged by her demands that it kind of sounds like you hate her tbh, and it fucking sucks to have an SO who hates you.
The time to end this relationship was a month after it started.
If he intends to marry into money he should be prepared to sign it.
The money isn’t his.
Everyone deals with death in different ways. Maybe he is sad, and is grieving in his own way. However, he also shouldn’t be forced to talk about how he feels. If he doesn’t want to talk about it as of yet, he has the right to do so.
This is the brightest red flag I’ve ever seen someone receive
Maybe she didnt get her fill
We’ve had the talk many times but it always comes to an “I don’t know”. I just don’t know what to do anymore regarding my needs. I have absolutely no interest in other people, I’m head over heels for this women. I would die for her if I had to.
Well do you think it's a bad thing? On one hand he makes me annoyed. On the other I've got a lot of bad stuff going on and he's a good distraction. He never makes me sad. If I seem off at training he'll try and make me feel better. I'm pretty chill and don't usually let other people influence my emotions. I never fight with my friends.