I'm scared if I'm unhappy now, I will be very unhappy later
Forget the other woman, and forget later–that's all secondary to the fact that your compromises have made you unhappy now. If you're unhappy now, and your relationship is causing that unhappiness, you need to end it or find a way to make it work, which sounds much less likely at this point.
Personally, I've found that a lot of people who act like your friend end up like the dog that caught the car. I don't want to judge her, but flirting is all fun and games until someone is looking to you to replace their long-term partner. Focus on making yourself happy, then think about whether this woman deserves your time from a place of security.
Verbalising it is usually an excuse to encourage women to have sex or oral sex
This was something that I thought of immediately? But I'm naturally suspicious of these kind of things. Maria thinks it weird that it would come up after so many years of friendship. There was no… sexual anything prior to this.
It's possible. They've both been drunk and stoned together before, but maybe it was the combination that night which made it like that? If we want to be generous, it really could just be “the entire night” like he said.
A lesson that drinking and driving drugs never ends well. Your fortunate to have a sympathetic boyfriend but next time when you have a curfew, do not drink at all.
Sounds like she has deep issues where being treated like shit is what she sees as normal.
You're not the one with a problem, she is. She's somehow convinced you that what she likes is how it should be when she's just fkd in the head.
You've dodged a bullet with this girl and I highly recommend not talking to her ever again so that you no longer expose yourself to this toxic behaviour.
They were not exclusive, had never even gone out on a single date but somehow she owes him sexual exclusivity, yeah just because a bunch of guys got their dick in a knot at the mere thought of a woman not owing them shit when they are not dating, that doesn't mean your entitlement is rational
He knows your fantasy, and it might be in his mind now. Please suggest the drive for both of you and you might need to put a bit of space between you and his brother
why is it important to you for him to except that you are asexual?
It doesn’t sound like you’re having sex against your will, it sounds like you’re doing him a favor. So keep doing that if you’re comfortable with it, and let him think that you aren’t asexual, and there isn’t a problem.
They seem to be of those delusional conspiracy theorists.
They very often side with openly declared Nazis. (Do you happen to be in Germany? Sounds a bit like it.)
Unfortunately you can't do anything other than to keep it out of your own home.
Either you openly talk to C and tell her your thoughts.
Or you use the snail tactics and are too busy, sorry, no time.
Being clear and outspoken is an option I personallyvwould always prefer.
If it could not turn back and bite your arse with Nazis in the close proximity quickly.
As they do have the “who isn't with us is against us” strategy, it could really make your life a living hell.
So just gently let that contact ebb off.
If on the other hand it scared you into wanting to politically engage yourself in fighting against that ideology try to find an organism near your home about anti- nazism.
And see, what you can do to expose that “cult”. As it sounds like a really nasty cult rather than a political party.
My wife and I are getting divorced because she wasn't interested in helping clean up. I earn more than her, we shared all of our money, and I also did all of the cooking cleaning and grocery shopping. When I would ask her for help she would say I didn't value her contributions enough then stop speaking to me for days at a time.
We didn't live together permanently before we bought our house except for one year in an apartment and I should have seen the red flags then but I ignored them. Buying the house was the lynchpin in ending our marriage. I tried for years and she just wouldn't budge, and I eventually grew resentful because I was left with no recourse. If I asked her for help she scolded me and stopped speaking to me. If I stopped doing things for her she complained.
Eventually I just started taking care of myself and spending less time with her. I asked her several times to go to counseling with me and she said no, but wasn't interested in telling me why. When we stopped sleeping together she finally came to ask me what was wrong. I told her she was immature and didn't leave any wiggle room for conflict resolution; our relationship didn't feel like a partnership, I felt like her guardian and provider and she my ward. I married her looking for a partner and instead found somebody who treated me like an expendable resource.
She stopped speaking to me for 3 months, partied every day, said she “needed time to think,” agreed to do counseling when the summer was over (she's a teacher), went to two 50 minute sessions, then asked for a divorce.
People like your SO, or my wife, aren't going to be negotiated with. My life was completely upended because the person I loved most just didn't care about my wants or needs; I was a supporting character in the story of her life. It sounds the same with you.
I can't tell you it's gonna be ok or things will get better. I lost 10 years of my life to this woman and it still hurts every day. The resentment is a now a blinding, all consuming hatred and everything fucking sucks, but at least I'm not anybody's maid anymore. Take solace knowing you won't be either.
I hope by that point in time I am strong enough to reject him and not feel anything but pity that he was too late and missed his chance. I already know I’m going to have to come back to this post when I’m feeling weak and missing him.
He's doing all the classic abuser things: isolating OP from family and friends: being verbally abusive, and then gaslighting her “I never shouted, I just talk loud” and “I only arranged hookups for comedic purposes” (seriously? What were these women laughing at?) He's carefully undermining her confidence and causing self doubt
Her therapist is already expressing concerns about her mental health and poor confidence:: the longer she stays with this obnoxious bully, the worse its going to get.
I know there tends to be a “dump him” culture on reddit, but in this case.. yes. Absolutely get out of there. I will never advocate staying in a relationship with an abuser. Even if they sincerely want to work on themselves and change, they should be doing that on their own, ouside of any relationship
Your insistence to keep in contact with your family seems to be the only reason why your gf keeps trying to reach out to them. You are exposing her to all this abuse. Without you, she wouldn’t have to deal with your awful family members. Be decent enough to let her have what she deserves — and you know she deserves better than this.
Get yourself some headphones and earplugs
Good luck.
I'm scared if I'm unhappy now, I will be very unhappy later
Forget the other woman, and forget later–that's all secondary to the fact that your compromises have made you unhappy now. If you're unhappy now, and your relationship is causing that unhappiness, you need to end it or find a way to make it work, which sounds much less likely at this point.
Personally, I've found that a lot of people who act like your friend end up like the dog that caught the car. I don't want to judge her, but flirting is all fun and games until someone is looking to you to replace their long-term partner. Focus on making yourself happy, then think about whether this woman deserves your time from a place of security.
Yes he will. Pediatrician here. Get that child help now. I don’t care how you have to do it, but do it. This is NOT okay.
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Verbalising it is usually an excuse to encourage women to have sex or oral sex
This was something that I thought of immediately? But I'm naturally suspicious of these kind of things. Maria thinks it weird that it would come up after so many years of friendship. There was no… sexual anything prior to this.
It's possible. They've both been drunk and stoned together before, but maybe it was the combination that night which made it like that? If we want to be generous, it really could just be “the entire night” like he said.
We can only hope.
Just stop. It wasn’t appropriate to begin with and it can only end poorly
A lesson that drinking and driving drugs never ends well. Your fortunate to have a sympathetic boyfriend but next time when you have a curfew, do not drink at all.
So fake holy shit
I needed that thing to be deleted, she just changed her bio last night on that account. Maybe she hasn’t moved on fully from me.
You gotta keep your pimp hand strong.
Sounds like she has deep issues where being treated like shit is what she sees as normal.
You're not the one with a problem, she is. She's somehow convinced you that what she likes is how it should be when she's just fkd in the head.
You've dodged a bullet with this girl and I highly recommend not talking to her ever again so that you no longer expose yourself to this toxic behaviour.
what? Thats where it goes
No contact with AP is the most basic requirement for a success reconciliation. Renewed contact basically takes you back to square one. Dday 2.
She can say it means nothing as much as she wants. But renewed contact is the starting point for a renewal of the affair.
Not an answer, telling
They were not exclusive, had never even gone out on a single date but somehow she owes him sexual exclusivity, yeah just because a bunch of guys got their dick in a knot at the mere thought of a woman not owing them shit when they are not dating, that doesn't mean your entitlement is rational
Run. You’re in for a bad time, disappointment, questioning your own worth and sanity. And a quick burnout.
Run for the fucking hills – the sooner, the better.
Communication won’t work with this type of people.
He knows your fantasy, and it might be in his mind now. Please suggest the drive for both of you and you might need to put a bit of space between you and his brother
He’s is telling you that he’s going to cheat and thinks there is nothing you can do about it.
Well, he can cheer but you should leave.
He doesn’t respect you. Don’t let yourself be treated like this.
Girl what?? If I knew that on top I‘d advise to go FULL NO CONTACT. He doesn‘t deserve you.
why is it important to you for him to except that you are asexual?
It doesn’t sound like you’re having sex against your will, it sounds like you’re doing him a favor. So keep doing that if you’re comfortable with it, and let him think that you aren’t asexual, and there isn’t a problem.
Stick a fork in u dude, YOU ARE DONE!!
She'll honestly just think he's kidding lol
Don't go.
They seem to be of those delusional conspiracy theorists.
They very often side with openly declared Nazis. (Do you happen to be in Germany? Sounds a bit like it.)
Unfortunately you can't do anything other than to keep it out of your own home.
Either you openly talk to C and tell her your thoughts.
Or you use the snail tactics and are too busy, sorry, no time.
Being clear and outspoken is an option I personallyvwould always prefer.
If it could not turn back and bite your arse with Nazis in the close proximity quickly.
As they do have the “who isn't with us is against us” strategy, it could really make your life a living hell.
So just gently let that contact ebb off.
If on the other hand it scared you into wanting to politically engage yourself in fighting against that ideology try to find an organism near your home about anti- nazism.
And see, what you can do to expose that “cult”. As it sounds like a really nasty cult rather than a political party.
My wife and I are getting divorced because she wasn't interested in helping clean up. I earn more than her, we shared all of our money, and I also did all of the cooking cleaning and grocery shopping. When I would ask her for help she would say I didn't value her contributions enough then stop speaking to me for days at a time.
We didn't live together permanently before we bought our house except for one year in an apartment and I should have seen the red flags then but I ignored them. Buying the house was the lynchpin in ending our marriage. I tried for years and she just wouldn't budge, and I eventually grew resentful because I was left with no recourse. If I asked her for help she scolded me and stopped speaking to me. If I stopped doing things for her she complained.
Eventually I just started taking care of myself and spending less time with her. I asked her several times to go to counseling with me and she said no, but wasn't interested in telling me why. When we stopped sleeping together she finally came to ask me what was wrong. I told her she was immature and didn't leave any wiggle room for conflict resolution; our relationship didn't feel like a partnership, I felt like her guardian and provider and she my ward. I married her looking for a partner and instead found somebody who treated me like an expendable resource.
She stopped speaking to me for 3 months, partied every day, said she “needed time to think,” agreed to do counseling when the summer was over (she's a teacher), went to two 50 minute sessions, then asked for a divorce.
People like your SO, or my wife, aren't going to be negotiated with. My life was completely upended because the person I loved most just didn't care about my wants or needs; I was a supporting character in the story of her life. It sounds the same with you.
I can't tell you it's gonna be ok or things will get better. I lost 10 years of my life to this woman and it still hurts every day. The resentment is a now a blinding, all consuming hatred and everything fucking sucks, but at least I'm not anybody's maid anymore. Take solace knowing you won't be either.
I hope by that point in time I am strong enough to reject him and not feel anything but pity that he was too late and missed his chance. I already know I’m going to have to come back to this post when I’m feeling weak and missing him.
I 200% agree. This is what I'm looking for in my relationship
He's doing all the classic abuser things: isolating OP from family and friends: being verbally abusive, and then gaslighting her “I never shouted, I just talk loud” and “I only arranged hookups for comedic purposes” (seriously? What were these women laughing at?) He's carefully undermining her confidence and causing self doubt
Her therapist is already expressing concerns about her mental health and poor confidence:: the longer she stays with this obnoxious bully, the worse its going to get.
I know there tends to be a “dump him” culture on reddit, but in this case.. yes. Absolutely get out of there. I will never advocate staying in a relationship with an abuser. Even if they sincerely want to work on themselves and change, they should be doing that on their own, ouside of any relationship
Your insistence to keep in contact with your family seems to be the only reason why your gf keeps trying to reach out to them. You are exposing her to all this abuse. Without you, she wouldn’t have to deal with your awful family members. Be decent enough to let her have what she deserves — and you know she deserves better than this.
Just felt that way afterwards, unfaithful I was really just overthinking it though