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Whether he’s lying or not would be irrelevant to me. I would not be with a person that left me worrying and wondering it like this. It’s over at that point for me
Divorced dad in an active custody dispute here. The one thing my ex and I are in agreement on right now are that holidays, birthdays, and events are just outliers where there’s a joint responsibility to parent.
I get that that may make you feel uncomfortable, but even when the two parties are actively at each other’s throats, this seems like a situation where the kids come first.
Like others said, though, if that bothers you a lot, he may not be your guy.
Look there was a serious power imbalance in this… Relationship? What he did is not your fault at all and you are not dirty in any sense or form. You are very young (I'm only a year older than you tho so look who's talking lol) and you were inexperienced, and unfortunately he used that to coerce you into something that you didn't want to do. I know the feeling all too well, and I'm so sorry that you had to go through it. Your body still desiring him is a normal reaction and it will pass, don't feel guilty about it. But he doesn't sound like a good person, that kind of coercion and boundary crossing is a serious problem that you shouldn't take lightly. If it would give you closure then you can try to talk to him, but if I were you, I wouldn't risk it. It sounds like he still has some kind of power over you, and you certainly shouldn't ever go back to him imo. Be careful out there and hugs to you.
Depending on where OP lives, his wife’s inheritance might be what the law where they on-line says is her statutory legacy. Some countries give rights to current spouses, some to current spouses and children, some to anyone who is or was married to the deceased and some countries have no laws regarding this whatsoever.
My point is that for all we know, her father was legally obligated to give her the inheritance she received woth nothing left to give his grandchildren, biological or not.
The point is the data you mentioned is from 1932.
The hypothesis is controversial and doesn't give us any hard facts.
Thanks, that’s the entirety of the topic we’re already discussing, but good on you for eventually showing up.
I don't think there is a right and wrong here. Dirext communication like I-statements are usually recommended but there really isn't any proof that it's how happy couples communicate.
Both of your communication styles are common and useful. Several answers is about how her style is more female because it's indirect and passive but that's not really true, an indirect or passive question is something else.
The problem is that if she acts like this often you will be guarded and suspicious whenever she ask you questions. You will suspect there is an ulterior motive and because you won't be able to distinguish curious question to get to know you from questions that might lead up to a demand. In that way it will erode trust and intimacy.
If she just does it occasionally when she worries that something is a particularly sensitive subject it's a really good way of showing concern for you.
To be honest I dated someone for years and was the bread winner, they quit their job with no plan to return to work or go to therapy or study or do anything!
I thought I’d nicely plan out how to end it at an appropriate time but one day I got home from work, I wanted to relax, he complained the internet was slow and impacting his gaming. Something just came over me and I broke up with him there and then.
You will get frustrated and so it. Waiting months and months won’t work.
I'm sorry for being so blunt . Nothing is 100% , but chances are high it happens more than once. And their relationship is clearly weird and lacks boundaries. I'm sorry to tell you, but there's been allot of studies on this kind of thing and they rarely have a good out come such as becoming a fully functional well adjusted adult. Chances are even lower when the trauma isn't dealt with. The worst part is that unless they realize it to get help, you'll never be able to help them. Don't hold it against her, but you don't have to be a part of it. Sooner or later it'll start affecting you as well. You can't help her, but you can make contingency to protect yourself, I recommend you get counseling to help you navigate this situation. I truly wish you the best.
Update on how this goes
I'll definitely try to figure out how much I need. I really don't think it's much. I'd take so little right now.
Girl, she has addiction problems and anger issues? And he dismisses your concerns and well being?
Time for to roll the dice again. This one is a losing hand.
Does 21F know about you? If not, let her. If so, send her a message that she successfully destroyed your relationship with your Ex.
You already know what I'm gong to say, but I'll say it anyway. 21F didn't destroy OP's relationship. OP's lying 30M cheating scumbag of a BF destroyed their relationship.
They got their cake now they’re dealing with the consequences. You can’t openly cheat and then expect nothing to happen.
I’m sorry for everything you’re going through.
She sounds inexperienced, maybe give her time to come out of her shell. Not sure how long youve been dating, she just may not be entirely comfortable yet but shes def into you. I kinda went through the same thing in my first intimate relationship. We didnt talk enough to solve it though, have you tried telling her what you said here? That sometimes you just want to feel like youre the one thats wanted? I feel like thats important. Only a back and forth dialogue will solve this.
Sadly, there are grown people who are this insecure. They usually turn out to be super controlling and jealous. This is something my ex could have whined about.
She might really benefit from emdr therapy
You don't need strangers to say what you already know bro, ?? sorry bro time to move along ?
Wait to move in until you’re at least engaged and on the land title. He may feel vulnerable to do this as you can take half of everything he built alone if this doesn’t work out. He’s not wrong for being worried about this. I don’t think you guys should move in right now and should continue to discuss options for thr future
I'm eagerly awaiting the update: my wife threw some kinky sex at me for a couple weeks and then gave me the finger and ate six cupcakes, and I was gonna move on, but now we're expecting a new baby, help!
I entirely agree. Chidi, is exactly who I thought of.
Soulmates aren’t real. You have to CHOOSE to love someone everyday and stay with them. Marriage and long term relationships are hard, it’s not all butterflies, love fades. You have to continuously choose to work at it and stay. We grow and change, and so do feelings.
Hanging out a lot doesn't make you clingy. You're fine with it, turns out he'd like to dial it down a bit. Fair enough. It only becomes clingy if you start to cling on. ie: he wants a bit more time to himself/friends etc… and you demand/try to deny that. THEN it'd be clingy.
Also, 4 days a week isn't too OTT or anything, if he wants to dial it back, maybe not a huge deal. Mostly importantly, your parents really need to mind their business.
Ah, she’s sensing that something’s off and she already told me that if we break up again, this time we’re done for good, we wouldn’t talk anymore. So breaking up with her is out of the picture, i can’t lose her.
She already knows, spare yourself the stress and suffering and find someone who doesn't isolate you. You've broken up before, you were friends during that time and it was goin good but you went back to the relationship. Tell her how she broke her promise to change and it's just like before, and you'd rather stay friends.