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This. I have friends who had been dating for 8 years. She finally started to really pressure him to propose. He did. And they divorced two years later. He never wanted to marry her. (And they are both way happier now). OP – I don’t say this… ever in this sub… but this won’t end well one way or another. You’re still young. Go enjoy being single for a little while.
You do you.
I was 37 when I met my SO (34 at the time). we smashed on avg 2x a day for the 1st 2 yrs of our relationship. Both worked full time.
Slowed down a bit to 3-5x a week. A few kiddos will hamper that….imo of the attraction is there…why not
Who cares whether he admits he is lying? Liars … don't admit that they are lying. Come on, man. You know he is, so just act on that.
>Once again, offer something useful or leave me alone.
Fine, here's my useful advice:
Leave America/Europe. Spend a year in East/Southeast Asia. Volunteer as a teacher. Volunteer working with Elephants. Become an overseas student. Whatever, just leave the country where you're at and get yourself exposed to a completely different mindset.
I’m really looking forward to my kids witnessing a healthy relationship even though it was born out of a mess.
With a stranger you cheated on their dad with after 2 weeks of live! flirting?!
Hahahahaha!!! I'm sorry to laugh, but either this is fake or you are the most laughably delusional person I've heard of in a looooong time.
Your children deserve better than either their Dad or you. You both suck BIG TIME.
My husband grew an absolutely ridiculous handlebar moustache over lockdown just because he could. It's the stupidest thing I've ever seen and I fully get you, because I found myself very turned off by him for the first time in our entire relationship.
I decided the only way to get him to get rid of it was to exclusively talk like an old timey cowboy around him until he got so pissed off with me he shaved the thing off. That is however petty and childish and probably not actually a healthy solution (worked though).
Wow, this is legit at least the 5th post in a week I’ve read about a man ‘not realizing’, ‘forgetting’, ‘misreading’ or having selective hearing during sex and doing something/continuing the interaction as if they suddenly turned blind and lost their hearing when their partner expressed discomfort and/or distress.
Remarkably, after they’ve finished and see how upset their partner is, they swear they had no idea, crying that they would never intentionally hurt you, and please forgive them.
So you did this one time before and then said you’d have to discuss it further and come up with a safe word. Then you come home drunk and you BOTH realized how drunk you were and you told him you were too drunk and he was cool. All these ‘coincidental’ lapses in memory for him conveniently just so happened to be the things said previously that let him know it wouldn’t be ok? That only the second time he tried this was when you were incredibly wasted and could have been blacked out? That’s not a coincidence, that’s him insulting your intelligence that you should believe this. He got caught and is manipulating you and trying to play the victim.
That’s coming from someone who has this same type of kink, except it’s literally been said more than once ‘you are ALWAYS welcome to start having sex with me or mess around if/when I’m asleep’. It seems like you’ve had multiple discussions regarding kinks, and that it’s important to outline the parameters, and after doing this one specifically you did, saying we need a safe word. And hadn’t really touched on it since. This is where certain people will use kinks to abuse/assault someone(esp in free use/bdsm kinks), and then try to blame it on the kink.
I’m fuming for you and could probably write a post 3x longer, but I think you get the gist between mine and everyone else’s post. This follows a pattern of behavior-like I said, this is at least the 5 or 6th post I’ve read this week with a SO blatantly assaulting their partner, and then acting like it was all an innocent mistake and their also the victim.
You should NEVER genuinely fear your SO, kinks or not, and I honestly think once you get in that situation, things irreversibly change where you can’t go back to how it was. I don’t think anyone should be in a relationship with another person if there is a doubt in the back of their mind that they SA you. And I think if you heard this from a friend or a stranger, without the emotional ties involved, you’d agree with me.
Maybe this is his strategy to have sex. I would not take love words seriously on the second date.
Yeah, that’s not a guy thing. That’s predatory behaviour. Set that ship Sailing!