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On-line Live Sex Chat rooms Rick, Maria and Lisa
I like to give nice gifts to people. I don’t regret the money spent, but to get no effort in return is hurtful to me.
See what he says if you start talking to a “friend “.
break up
Don't hope for change
This is a perfectly legitimate reason to end a relationship especially after 3 years. if you want kids then that's what you want. She doesn't so that is an separating line for your lives and breaking earlier frees you both up for the futures you want faster.
Wonder who she's picturing while orgasming and the fact she molded him sexually means she probably got OP to do what her ex did.
OP was wanting to talk about her ex and lied to us off the bat
they have, I've seen people tag her in stuff on Facebook when going places etc.
It sounds like he has an underlying health and psychological issue.
You don't have to say anything special. There is no magic set of words.
“I am no longer comfortable doing this, so I will not be doing it any longer” is perfectly fine.
It is not your job to manage other people's feelings.
I think that is a super shitty comment from your gf. I would communicate that a one-time occurrance is okay, but if she keeps on body shaming you or trying to put you down, she is not the right person for you. Being angry is not an excuse for toxic behaviour.
That said, it is possible that as a girl she doesn't understand how hurtful her words really were, since girls are often mistakenly let to believe that “guys are tough” and “guys don't have as much feelings” etc. In her (stupid) mind it might be she thinks you should know that your penis is perfect already and that anything bad she says about it shouldn't be taken seriously.
It's very common that girls and guys don't understand the other sex as well (especially when you're young). You see the girls/guys at school or in media putting up this show of how they are so cool and tough, and you believe it since you have no reason not to. Then after a decade of dating and living with the other sex, all mystique is gone and you understand that they are just as vulnerable and normal as yourself…
I honestly didn’t even know that many dating apps existed…it really feels like he went way out of his way to have downloaded that many apps just to not use any of them.
I’ve let him know all that I can, that he has to earn money because that’s not how life works, that you can’t just live somewhere rent free, that I need help, that I feel like if I’m not able to work anymore for some reasons we’re fucked, and it just seem like he just accepts it as his reality if it ever happens. So I’m not sure what I can say or do anymore.
Some people get aroused by any conversation about sex i don't think its anything serious
If they are not aware of each other, then it is ethically wrong, even in polyamory standards. If you are a poly type of person and they are too, then it can work. The fact that none of you is technically poly, is a bad situation. The reason “I did not mean for this to happen” is a lousy one. You made a choice to engage in a relationship with both. A choice is not an accident, OP. So, scenarios: 1. They both find out and you lose both. 2. You make a choice and let one go. But they can still find out. So you may end up alone, anyway. 3. You let both go and focus on how you want to navigate in relationships. Good luck.
Girl you were 17 and he was 23 when yall got together!
You need to leave him, let him see his son based on whatever agreement yall make whether in court or out of court but gooooo especially if you have any daughters.
Leave with your children and not him is my advice.
King, your GF's abusive behaviors cannot be excused — but perhaps can be explained, especially if you would speak to a psychologist in your city. They may be due to her having very weak control over her own emotions (i.e., a lack of emotional skills she had no chance to learn in childhood). My exW has that problem. If it is an issue for your GF, you likely would be seeing 4 other red flags.
The first is a strong abandonment fear. I therefore ask whether, a few months into your relationship, she started showing strong jealousy over harmless events involving other women — or tried to isolate you away from your close friends and family members? She would view your spending time with friends/family as your choosing them over her. Moreover, she usually would hate being alone by herself.
Second, you would be seeing her rely heavily on black-white thinking, wherein she tends to categorize some people as “all good” (“with me”) or “all bad” (“against me”) and will recategorize them — in just a few seconds — from one polar extreme to the other based on a minor infraction.
Because she also uses B-W thinking in judging HERSELF, she would rarely acknowledge making a mistake or having a flaw. Doing so would imply, in her mind, she is “all bad.” She thus would blame nearly all misfortunes/mistakes on you and view herself as “The Victim.”
Further, to “validate” her victim status, she would keep a detailed mental list of every infraction/mistake you ever did (real or imagined) and would not hesitate to pull out the entire list to defend herself in the most insignificant disagreement with you. Moreover, this B-W thinking also would be evident in her frequent use of all-or-nothing expressions like “you ALWAYS…” and “you NEVER….”
Third, you generally would not see her directing her anger at casual friends, coworkers, or total strangers. She usually gets along fine with them. Rather, her outbursts and temper tantrums almost exclusively would be directed against a close loved one (e.g., against you, a sibling, or her parents).
Fourth, you are convinced that she truly loves you. But you frequently see her flipping, on a dime, between Jekyll (loving you) and Hyde (devaluing or hating you) — often making you feel like you're walking on eggshells around her. Such flips would occur in a few seconds in response to some minor thing you say or do. A few hours or days later, she can flip back just as quickly.
King, have you been seeing strong occurrences of all 4 of these red flags?
I would say don't do anything rash. Give her some time to think through the situation a bit clearer and see if she can see the issue with what she is suggesting. She might realise she was getting caught up in the emotions of Susan's situation and come round, if not then yes I think breaking up is reasonable.
I don't think it would be a bad idea to show her this post even just so she gets some perspective on the situation.
That’s a strategy designed for failure.
If your ex was interested you would be dating. Now you are burning time for nothing.
Why are you unclear? YOU pushed him away and so he was like “okay, cool, I will accept that boundary you have made” and then you decide you’ve changed your mind but you’re surprised he hasn’t? He respected your wishes in the first place and once he did that? I get why his romantic investment went away, it’s only been 2 months, once you said that was it, he compartmentalized his feelings and that was it for him, too.
I think it would best that he at least knows what happened.
Is this real?
Why is she even bothered and why do you even need to question…..you know your wife is being unreasonable so just tell her already.
She sounds like a pathetic, needy child who just threw her toys out the pram because someone else listens to the show more than she does.
I’m not saying anybody should not care. I’m saying it’s unfair to get angry at someone for not placing the same importance on something whose importance is localized and learned.
The specific countries involved are irrelevant.
If I were dating someone who immigrated from a place that did not really have expectations for Valentine’s Day, which is a HUGE deal for couples in my own culture, I would be out of line to get angry w them for not thinking about it… and that’s a literal holiday for romantic love where the only person who expects anything is your lover/partner.
If something is important to me, it’s on me to let a partner from a different culture know it’s important. I think it’s unfair to behave angrily toward people who have not actually done anything wrong.
Updateme!
You have valid concerns but don't hold him back from his dreams for a YOU problem. If you don't think its something that you can accept it would be selfish of you to continue the relationship knowing that he would be giving up something he's very obviously passionate about and wants to pursue. If there can't be a compromise made I kind of think the right thing to do would be to end it.
Even the people who're still in recovery from a breakup rarely realize they're in a “rebound” relationship. So only time will tell. FYI, it's not the tokens from an ex or even missing that ex that makes the recently separated undatable. It's that they've lost a piece of themselves they need to contend with and process. So these outward attachments to the ex you're looking for won't be the real problem.
It's definitely a good strategy. I hope he isn't but if he is you may want to go to couple therapy or consider breaking up
I don't see that you did anything wrong for snapping at her over this, and honestly, it sounds like it needed to happen. Your point is 100% valid & easy to understand: you cannot change your past, and in this particular case there is nothing you can do now or moving forward that can/will eliminate her insecurities.
Typically, when someone is hurt over their partner's behavior, the suggestion would be to discuss it openly, for both individuals to listen & understand where the other side is coming from and then either the partner “in the wrong” corrects their behavior moving forward OR the couple compromises somewhere in the middle.
In this instance, she's mad over something you did before you knew her. I understand how it could initially bother her that you've been with others while she hasn't, but eventually she has to make the choice to let that go. Instead, she's made the choice to hang onto it, and that's not fair to either of you. Her grudge about something that happened BEFORE your relationship existed is ruining your relationship NOW.
You were not too hard on her. I'm sure she is hurt deeply, but the thing is SOMETIMES we need to hear those blunt truths instead of being appeased. There needs to be a balance to it ofc, but in this case she needs to hear the truth…that this was years ago, it has nothing to do with your relationship, you've been here for 6 years now, she's who you want, BUT if this doesn't change you might change your mind on the relationship altogether.
I would also try asking her what she would have you do to make this better, just to gauge if she can even come up with a viable option. Most likely, she won't have one. If she doesn't have an option, you could always ask, “Do you want me to say it's ok if you sleep with another guy just so we can be even? Would THAT make you happy??” Maybe then she'd see how absurd this is.
who fucking cares, cheaters dont get basic common decency, either way hes gonna leave, might aswell piss em off in the minute too
A triple X wax? She was having an affair. Her husband knew that vagina inside out after 15 years of marriage.
I wanted to know if it’s unreasonable that I’m being jealous and find the whole thing a bit weird
It's very reasonable to not want your partner to use dating apps while in a relationship.
It’s only been a month. If you really like him, give it some more time. Maybe adjust your expectations. You don’t have to want to rip his clothes off all the time to have a great relationship with a healthy sex life. I think media has warped our perception of what relationships are supposed to be. I’m not saying to lower or compromise your standards, just re-evaluate what you truly want in a partner. That’s what dating is for. Try different things out and see what works and what makes you happy. Being skinny and out of shape are not character flaws.
Exactly, so demanding that information serves no purpose (unless she's going hiking or camping or something). She doesn't need to check in with you, and requiring it is definitely out of a need to control or insecurity on your part.
You have no idea what is going on in your parents’ marriage. Your own description of your father does not scream “husband of the year.” Mind your own business and forget that you ever snooped in your mother’s phone. This quite literally has nothing to do with you and if you pursue it I can almost guarantee you’ll find out things about both of your parents you do not want to know.
So everything you do in your life once you're in a relationship has to benefit both people and their relationship? People still like having fun while in a relationship and can wear what they want, people dress they do because they like looking like that.
You gotta be real insecure if you have a problem with your partner living their life.
See that explanation makes me cringe, you think part of what attracts you to your relationship is being able to keep secrets from her? I’m not saying you have to share stuff like that with someone you aren’t living with but getting some kind of pleasure out of her not knowing is really weird.