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Languages: en
Birth Date: 2002-01-18
Body Type: bodyTypeThin
Ethnicity: ethnicityWhite
Hair color: hairColorBlack
Eyes color: eyeColorGreen
Subculture: subcultureRomantic
Move forward without this women
You got tricked, happens to the best of us. It will never get better no amount of counseling or therapy will change her idea about sex or libido. Leaving is what's best for you and your children. Don't let sunk cost keep you where you aren't wanted.
OP was wanting to talk about her ex and lied to us off the bat
you mean syllable
My mum and dad are both very dark hair, dark eyes. My mum has olive skin, my dad is fair. I was the goldilocks of the family. I have fair skin, but different tone to my dad, curly hair and light brown eyes.
When we were children, you could not tell that I was my brother and sister's sibling or even my parents' child. After their split, there were rumours spreading that I wasn't my father's daughter. When we reached our teens, my sister and I started to look more alike with a few minor features. I still look nothing like my brother. My mum calls me her “throwback”.
Point is, it happens. DNA and genes are interesting, you can never quite tell what someone's going to come out with. I hope your daughter doesn't feel any different to her siblings.
If it's a huge concern, get a paternity test done. If it doesn't match, then you have your answer.
I would greatly recommend having a conversation with those who think it's appropriate to make comments about a little girl's DNA. I've been that little girl and hearing that stuff, even when you don't fully understand, is scary and confusing. It's obviously aimed at you, but they're going to pull your child into this situation when she just deserves love and comfort from her family. Don't let them pull favourites either. Don't put up with that shit. If not for your sake, for your child's. Your husband should be pulling them up for it too.
Appreciate the advice
Pets are not “trial runs” to see if someone's behaviour improves. That poor dog will be having to endure constant verbal abuse from her if you don't remove him straight away.
Ps, I hope you're not considering children.
Do you eat healthy and are you physically active? Ask him to join you in that lifestyle. If you aren’t, then suggest you both start together. Focus on the being healthy part. If you bring up losing attraction, that’ll likely put him in a bad spot mentally.
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Fuck y'all in the comments making it seem like its not an issue. You dont go kissing other people small peck or otherwise whilst in a relationship without expressed fucking concent to do and based on oop reaction there was no concent meaning its cheating
I didn’t mean together, I meant that you both attend. Just tell him but he prepared for those events to be awkward if you have the same social circles.
He most likely recognizes you and sees this as a fairly easy chance for sex again. Nothing more.
Boo womp
Willing to bet those thoughts were there long before the relationship ended. Maybe not consciously. But probably.
Yeah I have heard about Esther Perel, she says everyone should have open relationships. I would rather be single.
OP is in a relationship that is complicated. They feel that the relationship should be comfortable but it is chaotic. They are having mixed thoughts about the relationship and are unsure if there is anything to consider that might help, sometimes they feel like there’s nothing they can do, and other times they feel like there are too many things that would be necessary to improve. They view the relationship as a process that they are trying to understand, and thinking about it gets them stressed.
My guess, totally unsubstantiated, is that her fiancé doesn't like OP. She chose the fiancé over her long time friend.
Clearly in his mind.
He is mentally shopping around and “boys talk” is code for “bros help bros cheat”
Would it be inappropriate to hire a professional to train you at the gym? No.
You're hiring a man to do his job, there's no reason for you to feel guilty or shame over that. Plus you're sharing a trainer with your friend so it's not like you're spending a bunch of time alone with another man.
The only situation where you'd be crossing the line is if you have plans to try to hook up with your trainer.
The bigger question is: Why do you think you'd be betraying your boyfriend by hiring a male trainer?
If you're in a healthy relationship, this should be a non-issue. Especially since you're being completely transparent and discussing it with your partner.
Paris Hilton has been discussing how she’s doing it to try for a girl so you’re not totally off base.
How long ago was that message sent?
You do what you are happy with, not what you think your Mom or family would be happy with. Those people don't on-line your life.
What helpful information is in this comment?
So the best option – leave.
Tell her she is abusive, and that you deserve better than how she behaved. That the relationship is over.
If you had posted you were 19 and 21, I might have excused her TO A LIMITED degree, and would have chalked this up to immaturity OP, and a simple issue of growing up a bit. But honestly OP she is 31she is or should be mature enough and have enough experience to know this is not typical, she has an incredibly one sided standard, and that just does not work healthy relationship. OP honestly that she seems to like constantly digging on and insulting you and your friends, and has stated you are lucky to have her. Is a common tactic of abusers, It's a deliberate attempt to make you feel insecure, to make you believe you will never get anyone better, in order to manipulate you into taking the abuse.
If you are done be done with it,, if you want to try therapy and work on it, you can but this often does not change a person who is intent to keep control, many abusers even those that are more subtle about it will tell therapists exactly what they want to here. acts better for a while and then slip back into the same pattern. Abuse is not just physical and verbal abuse can often leave deeper scars. Is this the kind of future you want?
That's the term I was looking for: placeholder. 🙂
ITA.
OP is the placeholder. The ex is not ready to be fully committed to her, so there you go. Once he does and decides that she's “the one,” OP will get that apologetic “I'm sorry, but I fell back in love with my ex” break up talk.
So nothing more. You've apologised and it's good you didn't make excuses. There is nothing more to do, except unfriend her. Being able to look through her stuff isn't going to help you.
I think the chances of someone hacking someone elses Reddit account to post dick & bum pictures on your bathroom mat are basically 0.
Your guy is in the closet, he is in denial and he is trying to gaslight you rn out of desperation because he's about to become a father and doesn't want the revelations to wreck his family life and destroy the relationship you have together.
The sooner you both start facing reality, the better. Try creating a safespace for his sexuality in the conversation and listening to him about his feelings, fears and thoughts. And think about what you want in this relationship and whether you can continue being with a guy who might be Gay, Pan or Bi.
If you do decide to break up, you can do it on amicable terms. It sounds like you have otherwise been a good couple and this sexuality stuff is very difficult for both of you to deal with. Focus on developing civil communication together and creatings plans you can actually work with.
No. Once married, he will get more comfortable with you doing the majority of caregiving and housekeeping. Call it off. He is looking for a mom not a partner.
he is trying to help.a friend and this is only an issue if the friend doesn't pay him.back.
just make him liable for the debt until it is all paid back.
She has to do that. It's been nearly 5 years. You have to create a catalyst, she won't just change her mind one day.
After reading some of your replies I’m not so sure its as straightforward as simply getting a lawyer and leaving your partner.
If you’re only 6 weeks sober this will be an extremely tough and costly battle with a good chance you wont win, there are so many avenues for her to screw you over or screw your daughter over. She could say you’ve said or done things when you were drunk, could say you were abusive to her and your daughter when you were drunk and that’s why shes depressed, could say you endangered her while drunk could be something as simple as her saying you left the stove on or left a knife on the coffee table and passed out.
You could both lose custody if you get into a shit flinging competition and it gets too intense. Which would be much worse for you than her if she doesn’t care about her daughter. And if her family is more stable than yours she will have custody through proxy and she can tell you to go pound sand till you’re 3 years sober and have a stable job/house.
Just saying don’t be rash, test your sobriety for a year on-line in hell, get a job, get a caretaker for your daughter or have family watch her while you work and prove you are worthy of being considered redeemed, if i was a judge I wouldn’t trust you to take care of a kid for another 13 years when you’ve been sober for 6 weeks.
Yeah guys ain't that picky. Women his age can see through his bs, so he tries to manipulate younger women ?
Just did and had a hell of a fight lol, after she belted her phone at me as naked as she could throw I told her to get the fuck out. Her reasoning was I should have never known and im immature among so much more
Hi thanks for your response. While I understand there’s nothing inherently immoral about what I’m doing— it doesn’t create lasting happiness for me and my relationship. I’ve been struggling because this has all been so recent, with the move and the new friends. It’s become a new normal, but it’s not a new normal that I want. I’m hoping for a little perspective on how to create positive change— logistical and usable advice. The emotional and psychological implications are things I’ve already considered.
You terminated a marriage, turned yourself into a single mom and your child into an uprooted child of divorce because… you found old pictures your husband obviously forgot about? Wow.
The fact that he shred the drive with you is proof he was not aware they were still there.
You may get a lot of support in this subreddit populated by a lot of minors, a lot of people that are much younger, not married and do not have children, but I suggest you talk to people in real life and ask their opinion about what you’re doing here .
If this is seriously all it takes for you to end things I think your husband is right, you have broken the sense of security and trust he had in the marriage. All was well when there was nothing causing friction, but the very first instance of a potential issue, and you walk out on him.