22 thoughts on “Sammy-cute on-line webcams for YOU!”
so why not find something better with a different person? What is it about this person in particular, as they are now (ie. NOT who they could potentially be, if they changed into a completely different person) that makes you want to stay?
Ok then. Calm down. Idky you believe any of the story of you don’t believe that OP had legitimate concerns with the roommates. But whatever. You do you. I guess you have some insider info in this instance I’m not privy to.
In a healthy relationship, you would understand that you're not always going to be the center of your partners attention. You should want them to enjoy their social life with other people.
She's right in this:
Her response to the problems I had with her actions is that it's who she is and she'll never change.
If she is a social butterfly… Don't be that boyfriend who smothers her light. She needs someone who appreciates that side of her and wants her to be who she is.
Sulking in the corner because she's not glued to your hip, ca'mon now.
And frankly, I am not a fan of your terminology here. “She's a people pleaser”… like its a bad thing she chooses to be social and you choose to be anti-social. Those two type of people do not blend well.
Introverts and extroverts can work.
And if you're introverted, that's fine.
But if you're anti-social (I'm very much against people) when you're dating an extrovert… she deserves better.
I’m gay and rarely see relationship issues relating to same-sex attraction discussed. When I do, it interests me as it makes me feel like there are issues I can relate to.
So when I see a post that says [F] and [F] but is incorrect, I do get annoyed as it’s a simple typo to correct before you post, and one which creates a misleading effect.
What advice do you want from Reddit? You did not HAVE to marry a 20 year old. You told her you wish she wasn’t born and meant nothing to you all because barely legal trim was more important. Reap what you sow. You picked reaping young pussy. Congrats on your choice I hope it was worth it. She probably will never want you around. You will not walk her down the aisle you will not see her children or know much about. All because you”had” to marry someone 22 years your junior. Live! with it, she did nothing wrong.
You need to have the conversation about the 'exploring her sexuality'.
If she's wanting to explore a submissive side to her then either you need to explore a more dominant side to yours or you will become increasing incompatible. Ask her what she would like to try.
At one time, my father worked away from home and we only saw him on the weekends. The family dog was very protective, even walking through the house at night, checking that everyone was in bed before he would fall asleep.
One night, there was a lot of noise downstairs. My mom saw our dad with his duty firearm pointed at the dog. He had come home unexpectedly after dark. He told my mom it was him or the dog. She said one of her biggest regrets was not choosing the dog. Our parents ended up divorcing several years later anyway.
No, but this is a huge incompatibility, not just some pet peeve you can compromise on. This is about your values and morals. Think about the possibility of having children with this person. You will want to teach them your morals and beliefs, he will want to teach them his. There is no middle ground.
Your roommate tried to help you while you acted like a child and had a meltdown.
Your GF tried to help while you acted like a child and wouldn’t even speak to her.
The continued helping you and you’re throwing yet another tantrum because they are food together.
Get a grip and grow up. You don’t deserve either of them if this is how you treat people. You owe them both a huge apology for absolutely every single thing you did that day.
I am usually of the belief that apologizing really only serves the person who did the wrong. The person who was wronged really just wants to be left alone.
Yes, this is generally correct in cases of abuse.
But I can't help but worry that if I don't reach out, I am letting this amazing thing go that I could have saved.
And you're proving your own point with this. The apology isn't for him, the apology is because you want him back.
If you wanted to apologize solely because you felt it was owed to him with zero expectation of reconciliation or even a response, I'd say that you could write him a letter. However, it's very clear that you want the apology to be a step toward getting back together and would not apologize if you knew for a fact it would result in him rejecting you, and for that reason it's not appropriate. It's still a self-serving act.
sorry this is so long reddit is my therapy
You mention earlier in the post that you are “therapized”? Do you mean that you have been to therapy and are not in therapy currently? If so, it's time to get back into therapy. If you are in therapy, what does your therapist say about this?
I’d get a different therapist who is able to make more process with you. It seems you still have unresolved feeling of/toward him and what the future with him could have been. And that you need to be more self-focused in your life. Measuring your life to others is a recipe for hurt and holding yourself back.
What on earth would you be “ruining”? Doesn’t sound like there’s anything good to “ruin”.
You can only help people who want to help themselves. If he’s unwilling to change or get professional help, I think it would be best to figure out how to get out of this marriage.
Remember his bad attitude and addictions affect your young kids negatively, too. They are still being shaped into good, upstanding people. You need to set a good example for them. Staying in a marriage like this does not set a good example of how we should treat each other and ourselves. Your kids and their health, both physical and mental, should be top priority. You shouldn’t be parenting your husband, you should be focusing on parenting your kids. If that means you need to “ruin” things, then so be it.
Ask yourself: If things go on like this, what will my family look like in 2 years? In 5 years? In 10? What will my own life look like in 2, 5, 10 years? Will I be happy? Will my kids be happy? Where will my and my kids mental health stand?
Ultimatums are shitty but sometimes are very necessary. “If you don’t start seeing a therapist and get professional help to change your ways, I will divorce you” or “if you don’t go to rehab and to kick your addictions, I can’t continue this marriage” there is no wiggle room. He either changes, or loses his marriage and family.
I’m sorry this is happening to you, OP. Sending you and your kids hugs.
Lol it sounds like a guy asking a girl after sex “did you cum”. Which is so cringe it hurts my fingers just to type it. Is she generally this cringe or just after sex?
so why not find something better with a different person? What is it about this person in particular, as they are now (ie. NOT who they could potentially be, if they changed into a completely different person) that makes you want to stay?
Eh. Deep down I know it's not. And that's not my motivation… It just seems like such a dick thing but I don't want to cause more drama….
Well. You have your answer there and you have to respect her desires. Your both young and she doesn’t want to mess up her plans with a baby.
Ok then. Calm down. Idky you believe any of the story of you don’t believe that OP had legitimate concerns with the roommates. But whatever. You do you. I guess you have some insider info in this instance I’m not privy to.
Yes.
This sounds very high school.
In a healthy relationship, you would understand that you're not always going to be the center of your partners attention. You should want them to enjoy their social life with other people.
She's right in this:
Her response to the problems I had with her actions is that it's who she is and she'll never change.
If she is a social butterfly… Don't be that boyfriend who smothers her light. She needs someone who appreciates that side of her and wants her to be who she is.
Sulking in the corner because she's not glued to your hip, ca'mon now.
And frankly, I am not a fan of your terminology here. “She's a people pleaser”… like its a bad thing she chooses to be social and you choose to be anti-social. Those two type of people do not blend well.
Introverts and extroverts can work.
And if you're introverted, that's fine.
But if you're anti-social (I'm very much against people) when you're dating an extrovert… she deserves better.
I’m gay and rarely see relationship issues relating to same-sex attraction discussed. When I do, it interests me as it makes me feel like there are issues I can relate to.
So when I see a post that says [F] and [F] but is incorrect, I do get annoyed as it’s a simple typo to correct before you post, and one which creates a misleading effect.
What advice do you want from Reddit? You did not HAVE to marry a 20 year old. You told her you wish she wasn’t born and meant nothing to you all because barely legal trim was more important. Reap what you sow. You picked reaping young pussy. Congrats on your choice I hope it was worth it. She probably will never want you around. You will not walk her down the aisle you will not see her children or know much about. All because you”had” to marry someone 22 years your junior. Live! with it, she did nothing wrong.
You need to have the conversation about the 'exploring her sexuality'.
If she's wanting to explore a submissive side to her then either you need to explore a more dominant side to yours or you will become increasing incompatible. Ask her what she would like to try.
Keep the dog, rehome the boyfriend.
At one time, my father worked away from home and we only saw him on the weekends. The family dog was very protective, even walking through the house at night, checking that everyone was in bed before he would fall asleep.
One night, there was a lot of noise downstairs. My mom saw our dad with his duty firearm pointed at the dog. He had come home unexpectedly after dark. He told my mom it was him or the dog. She said one of her biggest regrets was not choosing the dog. Our parents ended up divorcing several years later anyway.
No, but this is a huge incompatibility, not just some pet peeve you can compromise on. This is about your values and morals. Think about the possibility of having children with this person. You will want to teach them your morals and beliefs, he will want to teach them his. There is no middle ground.
You two simply need to figure it out as adults and agree on set rules and stick to it.
I do not see any other way this would work unless you two sit with the goal to come into an agreement both of you will respect.
Also, both of you should worry less about what other people might think.
Well it did and I need help I'm so pissed idk what to do I'm Mexican and just the things that go through her head is what made me so mad
Your roommate tried to help you while you acted like a child and had a meltdown.
Your GF tried to help while you acted like a child and wouldn’t even speak to her.
The continued helping you and you’re throwing yet another tantrum because they are food together.
Get a grip and grow up. You don’t deserve either of them if this is how you treat people. You owe them both a huge apology for absolutely every single thing you did that day.
I am usually of the belief that apologizing really only serves the person who did the wrong. The person who was wronged really just wants to be left alone.
Yes, this is generally correct in cases of abuse.
But I can't help but worry that if I don't reach out, I am letting this amazing thing go that I could have saved.
And you're proving your own point with this. The apology isn't for him, the apology is because you want him back.
If you wanted to apologize solely because you felt it was owed to him with zero expectation of reconciliation or even a response, I'd say that you could write him a letter. However, it's very clear that you want the apology to be a step toward getting back together and would not apologize if you knew for a fact it would result in him rejecting you, and for that reason it's not appropriate. It's still a self-serving act.
sorry this is so long reddit is my therapy
You mention earlier in the post that you are “therapized”? Do you mean that you have been to therapy and are not in therapy currently? If so, it's time to get back into therapy. If you are in therapy, what does your therapist say about this?
You compromised for a future you desperately want but does he really want if
I’d get a different therapist who is able to make more process with you. It seems you still have unresolved feeling of/toward him and what the future with him could have been. And that you need to be more self-focused in your life. Measuring your life to others is a recipe for hurt and holding yourself back.
“We always had great sex, but lately he seems to lose his erection because he can't stop thinking how other men had sex with me.”
He is guilt tripping you and makes him not being able to keep the tension about YOU.
When it really is about HIM.
Plus: there sure are ways to help that. But other than putting the blame on you, he does nothing.
I think, that the reason he gave you is bogus. Perhaps there is a physical condition causing this.
And even IF it were mental… therapy would help.
What on earth would you be “ruining”? Doesn’t sound like there’s anything good to “ruin”.
You can only help people who want to help themselves. If he’s unwilling to change or get professional help, I think it would be best to figure out how to get out of this marriage.
Remember his bad attitude and addictions affect your young kids negatively, too. They are still being shaped into good, upstanding people. You need to set a good example for them. Staying in a marriage like this does not set a good example of how we should treat each other and ourselves. Your kids and their health, both physical and mental, should be top priority. You shouldn’t be parenting your husband, you should be focusing on parenting your kids. If that means you need to “ruin” things, then so be it.
Ask yourself: If things go on like this, what will my family look like in 2 years? In 5 years? In 10? What will my own life look like in 2, 5, 10 years? Will I be happy? Will my kids be happy? Where will my and my kids mental health stand?
Ultimatums are shitty but sometimes are very necessary. “If you don’t start seeing a therapist and get professional help to change your ways, I will divorce you” or “if you don’t go to rehab and to kick your addictions, I can’t continue this marriage” there is no wiggle room. He either changes, or loses his marriage and family.
I’m sorry this is happening to you, OP. Sending you and your kids hugs.
Lol it sounds like a guy asking a girl after sex “did you cum”. Which is so cringe it hurts my fingers just to type it. Is she generally this cringe or just after sex?
I mean, I guess. But “I don't want someone who wants to break up our relationship at our wedding” seems like a kind of reasonable boundary.
Doesn't sound like Andre has ever been OPs friend, and Jason can probably see that.
Unless she is actively seeking therapy and mental health support, you will probably be doing a LOT of emotional support for her
It's never okay for you to expect a partner to do something they're not comfortable with or for them to change who they are to satisfy your needs.
If she's not physical (which she told you from the beginning she's not) and you want someone physical, you two aren't compatible.
If you're in the mood to have sex with her far more then she's in the mood to have sex with you, you two aren't compatible.
Stop worrying so much about how she might see you if you two broke up over differing sex drives and learn to focus more on your happiness.