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Well…OP’s bf should, know since he is one himself. Dating an single parent is a package deal, take it or leave it. No negotiations
If that’s a deal breaker and she’s basically telling you that you aren’t physically attractive enough then that’s also your answer. It would be an effort you could not maintain.
Not enough motivation to get fit?
Find someone else.
At least she’s kind enough to say it is more about your lack of effort and self care than outright looks.
Or he covered her mouth to keep things quit so no one heard…
You:
And what's with all the passive language?
Also you:
this makes me very suspicious.
Yeah. The girlfriend sounds maybe exhausting and controlling, and she gets “sick” a lot (three times mentioned in this post) to get OP to stay with her and ditch his friends.
But it also sounds like OP is friends with girls who have challenging boundaries. “I understand where you’re coming from,” is an interesting response from him to a friend calling his girlfriend names (not just calling out problematic behavior). Then trying to see a girl OP described as his “soulmate” on a romantic trip with his girlfriend … yeah, I can see why she doesn’t feel prioritized.
I’m not sure this relationship can be saved. I’m even less sure that it should be.
I asked him out tbf . He got out of a 12 year relationship with a girl who doesent seem the best :/ I felt bad and realised he’s not too bad , this can go great ! And it truly does go great at times , just the times he’s unhappy it makes me feel worse . I think she helps amplify it all , as she was there for him when he got out the big relationship , and now she’s waiting for him to crumble on this one and encouraging it . Anytime he does something out of bounds I make sure he knows how I feel and veiw it . But in his words if he was controlling he wouldn’t let me drink or smoke atall . That did anger me but I think I can genuinely help if I get him in therapy . Show him how to have mutual respect
Okay, that’s a lot of words for “I do everything my boyfriend tells me to” like lmao……….. I reiterate, live! your life for YOU, not some man. If he wants to find someone else, fuck em, there are literally billions of other options.
No, just no. This guy seems made out of red flags. He already pushed your boundaries PHYSICALLY twice (trying to push your head down, hitting/spanking you), in addition to asking after being told no which is bad enough. Meeting him again might not be safe since he would probably try and see which boundaries he can override the next time. Just throw this one back into the sea and let it go.
Usually when people say dumb shit like that they are either overcompensating for something they are lacking, cheating and using your “lack of focus” as a dumb excuse, or both. He’s using that to manipulate you imo. There’s probably a bunch of guys in your dm as we speak. You have options. Get with someone who accepts you. You don’t have to live! up to his standards .
I was a recruiter for a solar company so they let me work remotely until I found a job down there. I’m supposed to start the new job in the new city Jan 4th. I don’t have any family or friends in the new city, he has his uncle who offered him the job
Maaaaaybe you should let your sister have her own friends away from you. Getting the vibe that you’re up in her business a lot…
Your dad isn’t acting weird bc you’re a bottom he probably never even considered that. He’s acting weird bc of your messed up choice in bf! He’s low class with no tact! Goodness, who would make a sexual joke with someone’s parents for crying out loud.
Your dad feels awkward that your bf would even say something like that and is probably trying to think of ways to address it without coming off homophobic. Trust if you were with a girl, he would have addressed this situation already.
In our world if you say one thing about a gay person it can be taken the complete wrong way.
The joke was in poor taste and inappropriate, I wouldn’t stay with this person for lack of home training.
???
Well, do you want to go another 6 years being treated this way? Only you can decide your limits and boundaries. Yes, 6 years is a long time, but you only get one life. You deserve to be happy.
If she won’t consider really trying at couples counseling, then you need to decide what you can and can’t accept going forward. It’s rough for sure, but again, you deserve to be happy.
it doesnt have anything to do with my gender identity. for what she did, she told everyone im fatphobic or worse stuff
Honestly it's so easy for someone who isn't in it to say things about your relationship so not trying to be too much. With that, I think you shouldn't tell someone to shut the fuck up when they have an issue with you. Ideally hear them out and let them know you care about their feelings and are sorry… I don't know what's going on with her, if she can't deal owning that she was aggressive and in the wrong or if this is a pattern. But I dont think you should feel too bad about reacting.
As long as he's suggesting just a few minutes alone I don't see what the problem is. Now, be careful what you wish for. He may just be looking for the time he needs to tell an ex that you aren't aware and doesn't want to risk losing a friend. I think your best bet is probably just to roll with that and let it go unless it would totally be a deal breaker for you. As you said, you absolutely trust him now.
In the United States? Or in a specific state? Judges aren't there to make up their own law, but apply the law as the legislature has written it.
So I can't answer your question.
How about this – what if it's not the boyfriend's baby? What if she cheated on her wife with another man not her boyfriend? Do you think the courts, acting in the best interest of the child, will leave the child with only one parent?
LOL So called
Yeah I'm pretty sure if OP had said he got angry about it, all the comments would be saying the anger is due to him knowing he's been found out and how she should get out of the relationship.
You really can't win sometimes.
Also I don't know how him going a bit quiet recently is evidence of anything. He said he felt unappreciated? That's not an admission of cheating by any stretch of the imagination. This sub makes some wild reaches a lot of the time.
Maybe he senses that OP doesn't actually believe that he hasn't cheated, and doesn't know how to handle the situation without her thinking he's done something wrong?
I think there's no consensus about the rules, so the terms ought always to accompany the invitation. Generally speaking, though, offering to pay (without insisting) will seldom get you in trouble.
I have news for you, literally EVERYTHING in his journal is something you shouldn’t have read in his journal. Those are his private thoughts and were not meant to be read and analyzed by others. This is essentially therapy for him, would you judge him for talking about his feelings with a therapist? Would you try to eavesdrop? Actually I think you might.
That is great advice, thank you
She’s cheating g and wanted to see if you are as well.
I hate to admit but I took her initial declaration of being “clingy” as a good thing… only because in my mind I sort of naively thought: “well, I love being around my partner and doing everything together too!” I admittedly didn’t expect this level or type of behavior though… or perhaps I was willing to ignore it because I was just very ready for a committed and deep connection in a relationship and it’s biting me in the ass???
Look man I don't know you, I don't know your wife, I don't know your assistant. The way you've presented your story here in the OP and the comments is trickle-truth ish. Based on my 90 seconds of reading what you're written you come across as an unreliable narrator. I guess my only advice is don't sandbag when communicating about this stuff.
Nah its an irrelevant one.
Damn. I got nothing but good vibes to send your way.
I think you two need to get the best lawyer you can afford specialized in this subject. You'd need to proof in court that your (step)daughter's birth mother abandoned her as a baby. That he / you two have been the defacto parents for the past 5-ish years.
This is a no-holes barred, scorched earth situation. Gather and document EVERY shred of evidence of the cheating, the abandonement etc. etc. Fight with everything you got (that's legal) for your husband and your kid.
And last, but definitely not least… you need to be the rock for your husband right now. His emotional anchor. Help him process his emotions, don't let him bottle it up and start doing stupid stuff.
But she wasn't an adult for most of that. She was also a child/teen. It's only five years.
Man, that sounds very shady on her part. I’ve never come across a woman who “makes connections” that aren’t romantic (or tragic) in nature.
I’d sit her down, let her know you’re not okay with it, if she persists?
You may have a bigger issue on your hands.
Would I be wrong for getting a divorce over this, what shall I do + any advice you have! Thanks 🙂
Are you even going to try to find out?
I have reported to police, they started an investigation. Found some suspicious activity but not enough to identify or press charges. Still ongoing as of last week.
She sounds really immature and like she expects every moment to be about her and about what she wants, and that's not how life works. Sorry she did that, I'd have been annoyed and gone to sleep in the living room too. She definitely doesn't respect you or what you have to say dude. sorry.