Yeah, I'm not talking to her. But I went to that rehearsal with such “eff you” energy and then she just gave me that gift and now I have to physically stop myself from thinking hopefully about all this. Idk what to do to let it go…
I don’t see him saying her behavior is toxic. Maybe I missed that. I think it’s fine he feels that she’s being unfair, but agree with you that he could/should be understanding that she needs to process this.
Someone else said there are a lot of missing details, and I think those are relevant, but OP says he was just as surprised as the girlfriend. If that’s the case, and there’s not much more to the story, well, life happens. I personally wouldn’t want a partner that would consider leaving me over this. That’s a pretty big red flag, if OP took all normal precautions yet still ended up on this boat.
Omg I’m so fed up with insecure men like this. If she wanted she could have cheated anyway. You either trust her or you don’t, very simple. Or maybe you prefer to close her in a tower and lock the gates and have you be the only point f contact in her life?
The people who've identified themselves as black thus far are getting a hell of a lot more downvotes so I'm not sure that it really matters. People will support whatever matches the opinion on blackfishing that they had when they clicked on this thread.
I don’t know, because it seems like the majority of his relationships the girls have left him. So how does not keeping a healthy relationship equate to experience?
And exactly about the art thing.. he’s told me how I should do things way too many times. Whether it be how much I should price something, what I should add to an art piece, just every aspect. I haven’t been into it as much anymore either.
Yeah, he’s accused me of cheating way too many times. I think it’s insecurity. I made the mistake of telling him how weird it was that a guy chased me down on a motorcycle to ask for my number and I said no. He didn’t believe me and we fought for day. It’s exhausting
There are so many red flags here – he's acting like a moody child when he doesn't get what he wants when he should be respecting your decisions and your body. I would not marry this man.
There are many other men out there who would support your vision of going on medical missions and be comfortable living the modest and fulfilling life you envision. They don't need to be physicians either. I can think of numerous skills that would be complementary to your volunteer mission. My search & rescue team is made up of people from medicine, IT, education and many other professions and we work very effectively in the field. Attitude, a willingness to learn and core values are way more important than being very good at a particular thing. The same also applies to raising a family.
We had a kid, now my gf is grumpy, angry and lazy and i cant do 1 thing good or she is complaining. I Just want to feel her love againg, i know talking with eachother helps but she does not see a problem in her behavior. And my ex was the most fantastic lovely girl there is and when i think about that i get a litle depressed and i wanted to type it out somewhere…
The fact he's not standing up to them, or for you and your relationship, makes me think that his family are used to pushing him around and he's quite likely to listen to them. You need to have it out with him.
Here's the blunt answer, which I think you probably already know.
It's just a matter of time before you have to interact with this person: meals, parties, birthdays. You might be the maid of honor at your BFF's wedding!
At an appropriate time, you talk to your BFF's new partner and you resolve the drama and put it behind you. You agree, between the two of you, that you won't allow your past differences to affect your mutual friend.
Don't involve your BFF in that conversation at all. Because she shouldn't have to bear any of the emotional labor here. You and her partner are the stakeholders here.
Lol you’re both so young. This is insufferable.
Yeah, I'm not talking to her. But I went to that rehearsal with such “eff you” energy and then she just gave me that gift and now I have to physically stop myself from thinking hopefully about all this. Idk what to do to let it go…
I don’t see him saying her behavior is toxic. Maybe I missed that. I think it’s fine he feels that she’s being unfair, but agree with you that he could/should be understanding that she needs to process this.
Someone else said there are a lot of missing details, and I think those are relevant, but OP says he was just as surprised as the girlfriend. If that’s the case, and there’s not much more to the story, well, life happens. I personally wouldn’t want a partner that would consider leaving me over this. That’s a pretty big red flag, if OP took all normal precautions yet still ended up on this boat.
I agree. OP don't destroy their Christmas. Tell them after you filed and with a therapist.
Omg I’m so fed up with insecure men like this. If she wanted she could have cheated anyway. You either trust her or you don’t, very simple. Or maybe you prefer to close her in a tower and lock the gates and have you be the only point f contact in her life?
Perhaps you’d rather her drive drunk so you won’t feel insecure?
Unfortunately I can’t, everyone else works until 9:00pm
The people who've identified themselves as black thus far are getting a hell of a lot more downvotes so I'm not sure that it really matters. People will support whatever matches the opinion on blackfishing that they had when they clicked on this thread.
I’m so sorry you went through that 🙁
I don’t know, because it seems like the majority of his relationships the girls have left him. So how does not keeping a healthy relationship equate to experience?
And exactly about the art thing.. he’s told me how I should do things way too many times. Whether it be how much I should price something, what I should add to an art piece, just every aspect. I haven’t been into it as much anymore either.
Yeah, he’s accused me of cheating way too many times. I think it’s insecurity. I made the mistake of telling him how weird it was that a guy chased me down on a motorcycle to ask for my number and I said no. He didn’t believe me and we fought for day. It’s exhausting
How did this conversation come about?
There are so many red flags here – he's acting like a moody child when he doesn't get what he wants when he should be respecting your decisions and your body. I would not marry this man.
The fact that I don't want to read any of these posts tells me that this is exactly what I should be reading, and I will. Thank you.
There are many other men out there who would support your vision of going on medical missions and be comfortable living the modest and fulfilling life you envision. They don't need to be physicians either. I can think of numerous skills that would be complementary to your volunteer mission. My search & rescue team is made up of people from medicine, IT, education and many other professions and we work very effectively in the field. Attitude, a willingness to learn and core values are way more important than being very good at a particular thing. The same also applies to raising a family.
We had a kid, now my gf is grumpy, angry and lazy and i cant do 1 thing good or she is complaining. I Just want to feel her love againg, i know talking with eachother helps but she does not see a problem in her behavior. And my ex was the most fantastic lovely girl there is and when i think about that i get a litle depressed and i wanted to type it out somewhere…
The fact he's not standing up to them, or for you and your relationship, makes me think that his family are used to pushing him around and he's quite likely to listen to them. You need to have it out with him.
It doesn’t. It doesn’t say anything about any other texts on the phone. The only ones we know of from the post are from Jim.
Youre a jerk. He does sleep with me jesus
Here's the blunt answer, which I think you probably already know.
It's just a matter of time before you have to interact with this person: meals, parties, birthdays. You might be the maid of honor at your BFF's wedding!
At an appropriate time, you talk to your BFF's new partner and you resolve the drama and put it behind you. You agree, between the two of you, that you won't allow your past differences to affect your mutual friend.
Don't involve your BFF in that conversation at all. Because she shouldn't have to bear any of the emotional labor here. You and her partner are the stakeholders here.
“Adult” this situation and deal with it.