Well, you do have a point there. I know she's doing some oddball shit and my dad either knows and just lies to himself, or is close to figuring it out. He won't divorce her so I wonder if he's just trying to ignore it himself.
You're not going to get any different answers here than you did in AITA. You're the asshole in this situation, it's painfully clear to everyone including John, now stop shopping for validation on the internet and apologize to him before you're single.
It would be best to wait at least two years (so you'll both be dealing with completely developed brains). Couples therapy isn't designed to help an individual with depression. It's to facilitate communication between two parties (not to address the needs of either party separately). So she should be seeing a therapist on her own to discuss her own history/challenges. There just isn't time in a group setting to deal with that. Waiting another few years would not only give her time to work on her own issues but might allow you both to get your own place (since having a roommate in the mix of a marriage is never great). Good luck
At the least your bf is a strange duck. Look, you are 1 month in on the relationship. End it, heal and then find a man who isn’t strange, as well as is truly faithful to you at all times.
I do think I have the right to experience some conflict
You literally don't. Don't ask questions you don't want honest answers to, you admit you noticed she was keeping it on the down low and you asked. Dont get upset she answered
It's been very enlightening for me to see from the comments how many people feel the way that you are describing. It helps me understand just how different people are when it comes to things like this.
I feel very strongly that it's never too long or too late to amendments. Even if it's 80 years later, it's valuable. And if it was truly vile then it's all the more reason to issue a heartfelt apology.
I agree that this was a very minor thing and his apology doesn't need to be really serious or weighty. A simple, “Hey Wendy, I hope you don't mind me reaching out and if it's unwelcome in any way, please disregard this message entirely. Over the years I've thought back to our brief relationship a few times and each time I felt a sense of guilt for the unclear and confusing way that I ended things between us. I know teenage years can be difficult for all of us, so I wanted to apologize for leaving you in the dark. The truth was it was more a reflection of where I was at the time (a silly teenager rebounding from his first love). I apologize and wish you well. Thank you.”
this sounds like the plot of “the good earth,” and no, things did not turn out well for that guy
No. It isn't. This is what abusive partners train their significant other to believe – that it is somehow your fault for making them react badly.
It's not. It's their fault for being an abusive asshole.
Come on. Think! You playfully stick out your tongue and somehow it's the end of the world? That's insane!
Well, you do have a point there. I know she's doing some oddball shit and my dad either knows and just lies to himself, or is close to figuring it out. He won't divorce her so I wonder if he's just trying to ignore it himself.
Really? That’s what you got out of my comment? That’s not even what I remotely said. What a ridiculous reply.
Also, I did not fail the class. I forgot to mention that; I did pass
You're not going to get any different answers here than you did in AITA. You're the asshole in this situation, it's painfully clear to everyone including John, now stop shopping for validation on the internet and apologize to him before you're single.
No wonder she's taking advantage of you. You're a dumbass there was never any more gifts
It would be best to wait at least two years (so you'll both be dealing with completely developed brains). Couples therapy isn't designed to help an individual with depression. It's to facilitate communication between two parties (not to address the needs of either party separately). So she should be seeing a therapist on her own to discuss her own history/challenges. There just isn't time in a group setting to deal with that. Waiting another few years would not only give her time to work on her own issues but might allow you both to get your own place (since having a roommate in the mix of a marriage is never great). Good luck
He might have picked her up and she realised he was married after the fact. It wouldn't be the first time.
At the least your bf is a strange duck. Look, you are 1 month in on the relationship. End it, heal and then find a man who isn’t strange, as well as is truly faithful to you at all times.
I do think I have the right to experience some conflict
You literally don't. Don't ask questions you don't want honest answers to, you admit you noticed she was keeping it on the down low and you asked. Dont get upset she answered
Do you think you aren't worthy of your partner being loyal to you?
He is a cheater. Do not marry this man. Find someone who treats you like a partner.
Not ready to marry, not ready for baby.
It's been very enlightening for me to see from the comments how many people feel the way that you are describing. It helps me understand just how different people are when it comes to things like this.
I feel very strongly that it's never too long or too late to amendments. Even if it's 80 years later, it's valuable. And if it was truly vile then it's all the more reason to issue a heartfelt apology.
I agree that this was a very minor thing and his apology doesn't need to be really serious or weighty. A simple, “Hey Wendy, I hope you don't mind me reaching out and if it's unwelcome in any way, please disregard this message entirely. Over the years I've thought back to our brief relationship a few times and each time I felt a sense of guilt for the unclear and confusing way that I ended things between us. I know teenage years can be difficult for all of us, so I wanted to apologize for leaving you in the dark. The truth was it was more a reflection of where I was at the time (a silly teenager rebounding from his first love). I apologize and wish you well. Thank you.”