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Wow this is so disgusting and disturbing. The uncle is likely to contact the son even though he has been told to stay away. It is a good idea to monitor everything very closely.
You are right that I am enabling him. I have a naked time just letting him fail and feel the consequences of his actions, especially when he DOES get consequences, he doesn't seem phased by them for too long. For example, when he lost his phone. He simply got a new one….and some good Samaritan found his wallet.
And he went missing when I wasn't around. He drinks with other friends and most of the time gets home. But in that time, I worry something bad is going to happen.
Also, if we stopped going anywhere or stopped having beer or other alcohyin the house, he wouldn't stand for it. I did Sober October and thought he would do it with me. He flip flopped on me and decide he was not going to participate. He can't seem to bare the thought that he wouldn't be able to drink anything at all for 31 days (with a brief interlude when we took a weekend trip somewhere.)
I do have a camera in the house that we use when we aren't home. Sometimes I turn it on when he has been out drinking so I have evidence of his antics. He has denied events or doesn't remember them the next day.
I have reduced my own drinking, hoping I could be some kind of positive influence on him. My therapist said that's not going to work. I thought the DUI was his rock bottom, but honestly, he bounced up from that because we ended up in a better location with better job opportunities than if he had never gotten it and we ended up in the original planned location.
Just… do what she asks.
I would have raised hell in that room if my husband said that or didn't seem to understand that there is a open wound the size of a dinner plate inside the uterus and baby thumps sex at this time.
You're both young and he's experiencing FOMO, but he's too chickenshit to break it off with you properly.
I vote that you talk to him about the way he's devaluing you as a person by trying to hedge his romantic bets, and break it off. Go have some fun!
He wonders why I don’t trust him and why I’m so clingy sometimes.
I would tell your sister that you want to continue to stay in contact with her and make sure she has a path to do so.
Leave a letter to your dad's that their body shaming of you has negatively affected you and that you are leaving to fail away from them. Tell them they are probably right, that you'll never amount to anything and are insufferable to look at. Cut ties, move out. Take a deep breath and know that you just lost hundreds of pounds of dad bod weight. Move into an apartment with some other girls if you can't afford rent on your own. Keep your sister updated every so often.
Why would I break up with the man I love and I do care about. I am actually a very loving caring girlfriend to him and we get along extremely well. I cheated and it’s something I’ll never do again.
The thing is, those other 3 weddings? They already happened. Your wedding can’t change the past.
And the tradition of gift giving at weddings in general? That’s a mountain, not a hill, and using your own wedding to “take a stand” against the entire institution of marital tradition— as though it will make a single drop of difference in summiting that mountain?— is like… idek…
Is it possible you’re not as ok as you think you are with the big wedding, and this morality thing is just a safer way to say you’re scared/not ready?
I personally agree, in terms of genuinely valuing people/time together above all else, and that expectation around gifts makes me profoundly uncomfortable (personally), and troubles my heart (for anyone I care about to feel as though I could possibly require some thing ‘more’ than… them, the “obligation on my behalf” part truly sucks!!)… but. This day isn’t just about you. Or even your wife. It’s also about the people who love you guys, all coming together to celebrate your love, and if it makes some of those people happy to bring or give a gift, then maybe just consider that your gift to them!!?
Bc really, as it stands, the point I hear you trying to make (that of normalizing people vs things) is likely to get completely lost in the discomfort/awkwardness around those who want to and can give not being able to, and those who can’t being told they’ve created enough fuss to derail your whole wedding!?
If you’re meaning what I think you are, then being gracious really IS the biggest stand you can possibly make… By saying in truly respectful terms and with the warmest of affection “I love you, and if it’s a burden or an obstacle for you to wrangle up a gift, or even simply to attend, I’d move heaven and earth to have you with me, and I’m angry at the world in which you might ever question that. So please, be alongside me/us, and feel no shame or guilt for anything at all, unless you secretly hate me and have never had the guts to say so. In which case, I might not move quite as many heavens nor quiiite as much earth to have you by my side on this one special day. Maybe if you secretly hate me, you could do me the favor of talking to me (but not until after the wedding, ok?), and if you don’t, and you spend your whole life hating me while pretending to like me, then maybe it’d be ok for you to feel a little bit of guilt, only for having made yourself endure the intolerable just to spare my feelings. Otherwise, we’re all good, come and party! Even if you can’t afford it! Because I CAN, and I WANT to spend this time and this money to be with you so badly I considered torpedoing my literal wedding in a misguided but totally sincere attempt to make the world a fairer place for you! Yeah? Yes? Ok!!”
I'm sorry. I don't mean to make light of your trauma. But how did he force you exactly? Did he push the pills down your throat?