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I have to force myself to look people in the eye. When I stare into someone's eyes that I care about though, it's easy and I usually smile or grin. I too am an introvert.
Wow, such immaturity and lack of empathy. You are definitely too selfish and immature to have gotten married. BUT … too late, you got married. So put on your big boy pants. This situation is clearly temporary; her mom will eventually die, so atop acting like your entire life is over. What a spoiled brat! You promised to love and support your wife, so stop acting like a teenager who has to do chores instead of hanging out with his buddies.
It's really hard to look after someone who's resisting help. It isn't sustainable for you to be her carer. You keep doing this and you're going to burn out and the relationship will probably implode.
I'm going through the process of getting diagnosed and it is hard. And expensive. It's taken me a long time to get to it. It's scary and getting the courage to face yourself and your issues is difficult.
I've found an online psychiatrist. Have you looked into that? Maybe she would rather stay there or have you in the next room at home?
At this point though, it seems like she's just finding silly excuses to avoid getting treatment. It sounds very extreme. I do not envy her. She doesn't have control over these issues, but she can control whether or not she gets professional help.
As for therapy and medications, the best thing she can do is to talk about it with them and give it a try.
The only thing you really can do is keep communicating with her. You need to tell her your needs as well. Like you need to be able to leave the house and know you're not going to come back to a burned down home, or have to waste money on more groceries. The facts speak for themselves. It sounds potentially dangerous for you both.
Try to figure out if there's a deeper problem. If there isn't, then tell her how her inability to decide on a therapist makes you feel or how her avoidance is impacting you. How the whole situation is impacting the relationship. Tell her you feel more like a parent than a partner. Flip the script, how would she feel if the roles were reversed? Don't be too blunt about it, but be honest. I'm sure she knows you care for her. You wouldn't be doing all this if you didn't.
You're doing a really good job supporting her, but you need to make sure you have support too and it's not becoming a one sided relationship that's exhausting you.
You did the right thing. Don’t go crawling back to her. What an awful way to treat your daughter. The poor girl had to grow up without a mother and is now at the age where she really needs her and your girlfriend is screaming at her for asking questions about her own family!! What a cow!!
You and your daughter should have photos up of your wife and nobody worth being with would want you to remove them. She is incredibly immature if she’s jealous of a woman that has died.
Your daughter only has one parent she she needs to know that she is loved and supported, if this girl comes back into your life then you are saying her behaviour is ok. Don’t let her anywhere near your daughter again.
You don’t love her, you love the idea of being with someone after loosing your wife. You need to find someone that is kind, shows empathy and supports your daughters love for her Mother and embraces her memory. If you find someone that does that, then you know you have a keeper.
Go straight to her on a date. She'll only find it creepy if she doesn't think you're attractive.
In my opinion situations like these are where ultimatums are valid. Tell him to either get off his ass or get out of your apartment. You can be compassionate about it and say it in nicer terms, sure, but at the end of the day this is what it needs to boil down to, because without it it honestly sounds like this man will be content to leech all your time, money and energy from you for years to come. If hes your partner he needs to act like it and be an equal, not a burden.
I always think people that feel that way didn’t online life the way they wanted to. And they see their children doing it and instead of being happy for it it brings up frustration and anger in them. I think some of this you’re gonna have to ignore. I don’t know that you’re going to change your or that she’s even gonna understand.
you can cut her out your life but they’re selfish people. They know they hurt you but don’t care to the point of having a relationship. You can’t do much but focus on your mental health & well being. Sorry op
I understand this but he tracks them all the time
Wtf this along with the iud post, this guy is actually insane and extremely abusive. I’ve never heard of someone so insecure and ridiculous, you deserve so much better. Please break up with him asap before things get even worse but make sure you have contact with friends or family for support incase things go bad. Don’t break up with him in person as he sounds like the kind of guy to get physical, break up over the phone and have a friend or family member stay with you to help back you up he comes round to your house.
I suspect it is likely one of those weird social hangups based on criteria we arbitrarily decide. Guy should be older, guy should be taller, etc.
Because obviously a one year gap in and of itself is not a thing. Like a basic google search for 'average age gap' brought up around 2.3 years in most hetero relationships. As such the gap being a problem is either him very very specifically wanting someone the same age, which is silly, or the fact you happen to be older, which is also silly.
Consider it a bullet dodged. He obviously has an ultra specific idea of what he wants to the point he is willing to be absurd to pursue it.
They should have knocked. They owe you cake. Happy birthday.
Are you seriously asking if you messed up? Tf dude. Your horniness is not more important than your gf's sleep, even more so if you knew she had something important at work the following day.
Assuming you have hands, you should use them and leave your gf alone. Tho you're 32 and dating a woman 8 years younger, so I wouldn't expect a lot from you.
I mean we online together, so definitely have more time together if you count it like that.
I have been hanging out more with my friends lately, but thats also partly because I haven't really in the beginning of our relationship.
Distant? I mean, I'm possibly a little less affectionate and say less affectionate things or kissing or whatever, but it doesn't mean I lost my love for her, so idk.
Did you mean you’ve been together for 11 months or since the baby was 11 months?
Gender reveals are just one of those things I am never going to understand.
Yeah I get that as well. But for me, I would have preferred for him to follow up just one more time. Because of how awkward the situation was, she probably did want to go out with him, but was too shy about it and now will think he won’t ask her again and probably lost her chance. Again, this is my mindset. I do agree he should have ASKED her instead of assuming she wanted to go for coffee. Like I said I have social anxiety and I’m thinking with that mindset. My husband did follow up with me the very next day through a text and even mentioned he was sorry if he somehow embarrassed me. That’s when I told him that I was just taken off guard and have social anxiety.
If he was nice he would do his part around the house. He sounds pretty useless but maybe he would pay for a housekeeper to keep the relationship. You could ask.
Nice speech but not really helpful
I don't understand a lot of peoples feelings but surprise surprise they still have them
This is not an unusual one however , now I'm sure his girl has slept with other guys as well but he only has issue with the one he knows.
Not much she can do but if he does find it to difficult to deal with the constant reminder he can either stop seeing her or him
Now just like the drug campaign with ' just say no ' as the slogan ' just get over it ' is equally ineffective.
Sit him down, tell him what you write in this post. If he doesn't want to lose you, he will change.
Everyone has a personal preference and when it comes to differences of likes vs dislikes, no one wins.
If you like them then go for it. If he doesn't like then he is free to leave.
End of story.
I couldn't agree more!!!
No.
Sounds like the typical narcissist playing the victim and villanizing you. All because his ego can’t handle the truth, so he’s rewriting his story and believes this delusion to be true instead of manning up, accepting reality, and facing consequences. Keep your head up OP
news flash, they are not going to respect someone who is 13 and 11 years older than them.
I do try to reassure her that I do want to be there for her, and she does tell me that sometimes it’s sorta crazy that I’m so genuinely eager to be with her and be there for her, but other times I may thoughtlessly say something or act in such a way that makes her feel like a convenience. Today I told her I would call her soon, but neglected to tell her that after I’d said that I’d run into some issues at home that prevented me from calling her, a fact that I’d mistakenly thought I mentioned. It made her feel like she didn’t matter, even though she knows it was a mistake, but I just keep blundering and it’s hot for me to identify where I can address myself, you know? I know what I need to address but every time I do I slip up somewhere else and it’s very disheartening haha.
(And yes, she’s a bit of an over thinker, we both are tbh)
You sound like the shittiest partner one could have.
This chick trauma dumps on your fiance then excludes her, which is a super shit thing to do, you hide stuff from her and exclude her, which is a shit thing to do, She finally snaps and you blame her for everything.
This chick goes YEARS smearing your fiance and you continue to blame your fiance, this chick comes to your wedding event and snubs your fiance AT HER OWN WEDDING EVENT and you're honestly torn on what to do?
Yeah, let someone who will support your fiance marry her instead.
Honestly part of me just wants to never hang out with them again. We’re in the same group though, so I’m bound to see them again.
Yes, you’re being manipulated. Plain and simple. Get out asap.
Have you tried not being late though
Did you say anything to her during this entire time to indicate you were at all interested in her?
Once she turned 18, after you kissed, did you indicate there would be a relationship of any kind?
It seems like now, that she has a boyfriend, she has been leading you on rather than this being a mutual thing?
Why is it she needed to wait in a holding pattern for you to make the move? It seemed like she did wait, and wait and wait. She moved on when you didn't and now you're mad.
God did we date the same guy lmfao. It got to a point where my ex’s mom was calling him at 3am crying about his dad. They had little pet names for each other that definitely bordered on incesty.
Interest him in some other hobbies/ new friends / volunteer work.
Get him a job.
Tell him you are very busy. You will bring him out once a month.
Please please don't try and get pregnant by this man again is the first step, than get some therapy for both of you together.
This is pretty shocking, you’re being used.
Hey please don’t tell your self you are being psych
Sorry, but no, do not write a letter. That could actually end up being really dangerous for her.
If he finds the letter, and reads it, who do you think is going to bear the brunt of his rage? Spoiler: not you.
One of the most dangerous times for a woman in an abusive relationship is when she leaves, because that’s when her abuser has lost control, and has nothing to lose. But seeing a letter like that would be dangerous for her too. You have no idea how he will react to seeing a letter like that, and how badly the abuse will escalate as a result.
Ha, like it's just one problem
It sounds like he feels insecure about your relationship and wants you to spend more quality time with him. Instead of telling you this, he does things like say he wants to game alone, hoping you'll ask him to hang out instead, making him feel wanted without him having to be vulnerable. This is dumb and emotional manipulation. The opposite happens, you tell him you want to sleep. He then sees you watching a movie and feels hurt you didn't ask him to watch with you, and again turns to name calling and accusations instead of tell you he would have loved to watch with you.
The man doesn't have the emotional maturity to communicate his needs or process his own emotions. Also, name calling is not okay.
Alternatively, his brain could just be out of whack. Also not okay.
If you're financially able to do so then you walk. If not then stick all your available money in a run fund and build that till you can leave. He's already checked out of the relationship but needs you to help with rent and bills.
Ok. I’m extremely lucky to get it once a week.
What if I tell him and it doesn’t get better?