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Sweetie, you deserve better. Shit, I would have told the friend to back down and have said as much as a bystander in such situations.
Your BF literally sided with his friend and let you fend for yourself. He is nothing more than a gutless POS.
I'm glad that you are open to exploring the possibility of therapy. This could really be beneficial for both of you and potentially help your relationship overall as it will give you a safe space to express how you feel without fear or judgement. Make sure to do some research into different types of therapy available, and talk with your partner before deciding on which one best fits what both of you need – having joint counseling is great if that's an option.
If not, individual sessions can still be very helpful in helping get in touch with yourself and understanding why these feelings have come up for you – any therapist worth their salt should always ensure client safety first so don't worry about revealing too much information during session just yet. I wish the two of the best!
Technically, once she got really drunk, she was unable to give informed consent. Any sex there after could be considered sexual assault. That said, she put herself in that position to begin with. Sounds like you need to have a talk with her on your next step, to stay together or split.
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Please do not bring another child into this mess. It will definitely not fix anything. If your wife has any investment in your relationship, she will tell her friend to stop trashing you and respect your relationship even if she doesn’t like you. Instead, your wife is just adding fuel to the fire. The sexting/nudes also shows how little your wife values your relationship. You both just seem done at this point.
Yes that is exactly what I am implying/s
I guess the fact OP understood what I said and even agreed with me means nothing, but hey since you know OP better than she does herself, just keep on assuming what you want.
I genuinely believe that people cheat because they want to. It's not necessarily what's going on in their lives or how much “better” the other person is: you cheat because you want to cheat. It has no bearing on you as a person or a wife.
Him being so self-sufficient makes me think he feels entitled to have his cake and eat it too. Plenty of traditional men believe that affairs are just a part of marriage, and as long as they aren't flagrant about it, it's okay. They don't plan to leave their wife so there thinking is: I'm not hurting anyone.
If you contact Cindy, I urge you to take what she says seriously. Your husband has already laid the groundwork of making her seem “crazy” and “unstable” and therefore “untrustworthy.” This is was to cover his bases so that you don't believe anything that she says, but you have to ask yourself why this woman would lie about this so passionately? Why would she make this up? Your husband isn't such a catch that he's made this woman flip her lid and go off the deep end. Just remember that. Your husband has the most reason to lie, not Cindy.
Before you contact her, ask yourself what you want from her. Do you want to know when everything started? (Do you really want to know these things?) Do you want to know what she wants from your husband in order to leave him alone? Do you trust that if you speak to her, she won't turn around and tell your husband causing you to lose your only leverage? Do you plan to leave your husband if she can prove that she's been involved with him? If you don't, I don't know that I really see a point in speaking to Cindy to find out the truth. If you're thinking about divorce and know that these details will help you in court, absolutely speak to Cindy and try to get as many receipts as possible (pictures of them with time stamps, text exchanges, debit transactions, etc.). Collect everything.
He is guilt tripping and manipulating you in order to lower your self esteem/worth and get what he wants. Do NOT do anything you do not want to do and are not excited to do. This sounds like he has been waiting for an opportunity to bring this up plant the seed of doubt in your head. This feels wrong and upsetting to you BECAUSE IT IS!
I decided to be a smart ass once lol. An older lady was my cashier, and she asked how I was doing. I said “sorry. My girlfriend said I can't flirt with you.” She and my gf laughed. But If the cashier was “young and attractive”, then it would have crossed a line. Thanks for the advice!
Don’t worry about gossip.
You need support. It’s far more important.
It’s disrespectful to send a selfie to someone who is interested in you when you are in a committed relationship. It just is. Completely inappropriate.
I would just end it. You’re not married. Why waste more time if you’ve been losing feelings for a YEAR?
This is a huge red flag and I think finding a new boyfriend is probably the safest thing for you to do. Because once you capitulate to this demand there will be another!
If “keeping the peace” requires you to betray yourself, I am pretty sure that is not peace and I am pretty sure it is not worth keeping.
Perhaps it is time to try: “I am okay with your disappointment in me” Rachael Mary Stafford
Either your wife is lying or she is an idiot. You tell me is she an idiot? This new “friend” sounds like an experienced pro and has totally worked his magic on your wife. You just wait until she starts dropping hints about the Polly lifestyle. If your wife was the good partner she thinks she is why would she even engage this man in texting and a friendship. Man this is total bullshit and id make it crystal clear this is not going to fly. She need a to zeros this guy and whoever introduced her to him. You said it she would never accept this from you so why are you even entertaining her double standard. DANGER WILL ROBINSON
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Girl, she will never change. Read up on narcissistic mothers, it’s a whole thing. Your kids will adapt and be fine and may not even remember this dynamic if you set boundaries now. I’m no expert but I’ve navigated this myself. First, call out her bullshit, set boundaries and when she breaks them end the interaction. Then limit the interactions you have with her and eliminate interactions with your partners family. Time to on-line your life and start a new chapter. She will never change. Narcissistic mothers…