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Your examples don’t really apply here, weddings and social events with your friends are SUPER different from a first date with somebody you met on-line. It is ALWAYS rude to EXPECT somebody to pay for you on a first date.
He definitely sounds into you but the way you are describing it sounds creepy. Honestly if I knew you personally I would tell you to block him and not talk to him. 1. You are at totally different stages in your life you are emerging as an adult and at this point he should be one. 2. He doesn't have the guts or is thinking something shady if he only talks to you on-line and not in person. 3. You haven't had a relationship the last thing you need is a complicated one with an older man. At his age he can find you naked or nice but it would be like you finding a middle schooler very hot. You would not want to date someone who is just becoming a teenager. He shouldn't want to even hook up with someone who is barely an adult.
I'm gonna start here:
I’m at my limit, I need advice before I do something rash, like cheat!
If you're at the point where you feel as if you are going to cheat, you need to just break up.
Next is, “I’m sorry you are having a nude time but it’s not okay to take it out on me. I will talk to you later.”
Think long term. Is this how you want things to be forever? You either bring it up now and she is willing to work through it or you might want to consider if you are compatible.
I don't know about other people, but it reads to me like the guy doesn't want the financial burden of a wedding, however he is happy to get married.
Perhaps he doesn't have the money saved to do this.
Ask him about it. Don't prejudge anything until he speaks his piece.
Real question: do you want to marry her?
I would take him to a fertility dr apt and explain with a professional how nude it could be to have a child. We also were gonna wait for another until we bought a house but with housing prices here in California, we are waiting to buy until the prices drop. That said, you can’t force someone to have a child like that and expect the relationship to work. He may be pushing the timeline thinking you will change your mind. If he isn’t and it’s just about the house, you may want to weigh out options if you wait.
I didn't mention anything about her drinking nor being handicapped nor her plans. What she does is her choice. Her soon to be husband sucks ass for this and that's just what it is.
Read the signs and end it.
You mentioned you don't have enough info to contact his wife… then get it. In conversation with your friend you can innocently ask questions, try to get details. So where do you guys go? Does he pick you up? What kind of car does he drive ? OR some around the back way “wow I saw a really nice car the other day, whish I can afford that one day. Do you have a favorite? I don't mind mine that I have it's comfy but I hope to get something sporty one day. What do you enjoy about cars? What does teacher drive?”
Once you know the car you can find it at the parking lot of school and see where he drives to if you're comfortable with that. Now you have an adress and know where to knock or send a letter to.
Or in conversation just find out the name of the wife. Ask questions, I'm sure she'll mention something about her like that he had to sneak out or go a call from her or his kids and wife all went on some outing. Then just ask “oh you always refer to them as kids, what are their names? How about his wife? So we can stop saying wife and kids in future conversations. It's annoying” when you have a name check the phone book, check social media, you can even just type the name in Google with your location and probably find some info where she works.
You need to tell her. Do it anonymous and send proof even if it's just days and times when you know they met so she can start being suspicious.
You’re 100% right
Poor dude.
GET OUT. GET OUT. GET OUT. this will end in a disaster and God forbid if a child comes around then an innocent life will be ruined. Please stop being a coward, grow a backbone. Tell her the reasons and get out of this relationship.
Go to college. Don’t throw away your future just for him!!!! I did that and I’m so mad about it 🙁 go to the college two hours away on-line your best life!!
It entirely depends where you’re living. The city I’m in (not even a big one!!) has insane housing prices. A house down the road that was relatively small and needed the entire floor and much of the walls gutted went for $400,000. There are not any liveable houses, I doubt even any unliveable houses, in my area for under $100,000.
lol yes anytime that’s a post title I die a little inside. Breakups are a decision you can make unilaterally. You don’t need the other person’s fucking permission.
On and off relationships suck. Don't get in them. I speak from experience. You may have karma you both have to work through with the relationship. But you can do that by not being together.
Yep. Because men are manly & being angry is just part of being a man, or something. Women are supposed to be sweet & nurturing! But also assertive. But not too assertive, or he might feel emasculated & get emotional & angry.
He's really an open book, and will answer anything I ask. He told me it took him 2 extra years to graduate high school bcs he would skip school. He was a troubled child (divorced parents/ he lived with his rich but absent dad).. I think he has ADHD, has a nude time focusing.. he doesnt have hobbies, just sitting on the couch watching tv, and driving around town aimlessly. He goes to cafes a lot and chats up people- that's how we met. He smokes cigarettes a lot. He doesn't smoke pot or drink alcohol (he used to be a big party boy but has calmed down)…