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So she groomed you….disgusting.
Effectively you are asking for swimming instructions
because you have discerned that you are drowning.
What possible productive outcome do you imagine for your circumstances.
People who suffer from eating disorders.
Maybe he realised that he's going out with a rapey wee lassie who has zero self awareness.
Well. He sounds like a prince. Sorry to be so blunt but it might be time to move on? People don’t stop evolving or having bad days or deep thoughts because they have been dating for 3 years. I have friends who have been married for 20 or 30 years and they are each other’s best friend. He sounds immature and bit shut down. You already tried talking to him and his response is pretty shallow or unfeeling. You might have leveled up past this guy?
You have nothing to be embarrassed about. The girls who threw eggs at you are the ones that should be embarrassed, and I’m sure when they’re adults and look back on this, the memory will literally keep them up at night.
Please go to your favorite teacher, parent, or someone else that you trust with the video. Honestly, being held responsible for their actions might teach the girls a lesson and help them to be kinder in the future.
Don’t forget that you’re important, you matter, and you’re worthy of love & all good things. Keep your chin up. Life is like seasons and I promise you that one day the sweet warmth of the spring sun will hit your face.
Look up death grip. Stop watching porn. You should begin to see improvement in about two weeks. See a doctor if no improvement after four weeks of no porn/fapping.
We discussed marriage often as a part of our future. We were on the same page of waiting multiple years. I didn’t know were were on different life plans because he never expressed this to me until he proposed.
Fake post is fake.
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OP isn’t opposed to cuddling in bed. But that night she needed to sleep and told the man that, and he disregarded it to be touching her all night, despite her telling him not to. He ignored her consent. She’d probably be totally fine cuddling if she consented to it and this man listened.
You’re delusional to think this is normal. Please go look up the Jacob Hoggard trial. This is quite literally a repeat
So I can understand wanting privacy, but realistically this comes off more suspicious than anything.
I was involved in the music industry for a while and a lot of those guys had “friends” like this all over the place.
A genuine question that people downvote because is hatters their reality of his wife being a “responsible” adult and coming clean I guess. In reality it’s absolute bullshit
Report this to her supervisor
for the last five years, she was auditioning for…what? how do you know she’s not also a breadwinner? or is it because women are incapable of being in loving, committed relationships? dawg nobody asked if you like women or government contracts, you are projecting your feelings on this dude like crazy. good luck lol.
Having kids leaves the biggest carbon footprint. You both will be in late fifties when the child will be going through teenage. Can you afford college for all kids?
Are those things ok with your wife? If she still wants, then think through more.
Let go of your oldest worry that he doesn't want to hear baby crying overnight. S/he is probably a teenager or getting there, and their worry sounds sincere. So figure out how to work around that. Use earplugs, maybe?
Babies are fun. Work, but fun.
I know that it's really really hot to handle a teenager in 70's from a friend. So it's possible that your wife is sensing the end of your time (of making more babies) coming closer. But that's just my guess.
Are they discussing putting an art room in your house?
Create your own tinder profile, pay for the service, and show him how many likes you accrue in a day. Laugh.
Then dump him.
First: never ever say yes when you mean no.
But secondly: dude she might be a more than a little off. You’re both 18 and been together four months? I’d run fast and far. That’s not normal!
Honestly look out for yourself. If she's getting mad that your working hot then it comes out of self spite. That isn’t the type of friendship I would want.
Set strict bou daries with your friend and likely lose him or don't and soon enough lose your boyfriend.
It’s only going to get worse
If she showed love in absolutely any other way that might be a feasible argument
I’m not even sure what advice you’re asking. “How do I get it through my friends head”. What’s there to get through his head? You have a boyfriend. He wants to sleep in your room with you, you said no. He either accepts that or not.
Hold up she cheated on a girl's trip with Friends??? That's so many witnesses, she's either stupid or this is definitely not the first time that's just too bold.
OP made it clear he's been checked out, uncaring, and uncommunicative for many years, to the point where she's now checked out. There's likely nothing to salvage there and the best option would be for them to both move on with their lives.
Even if he gets treatment, it's extremely unlikely that OP is going to be able to really love or trust him again.
I think its still good to have a conversation with him if it's bothering you. Discuss the future and see if you're on the same page.
I cant help but wonder if he is testing your limits, I understand if someone has bad thoughts and feels guilty to tell your partner but doing so over and over again? Like imagine if he cheats, would you see him able to tell you it was a “drunk slip” and “please forgive me I feel so bad”?
Whoops, I know I typed thanks but somehow it's not in there, so I'll just add another comment saying thanks for responding!
Tbh that changes things. You’re within hours of each other via plane, car, or train. Way different than what I imagined as 10hr plane flight both cost and time wise to see each other
Exactly! There has to be a joke in there somewhere that would break the tension. Present it as dirty talk. I'll violate your boundaries baby, I just got shit faced and did the football team haha how about you come over here and put me in my place
Ok maybe that's a bit much but hopefully you got a chuckle out of it. It was one letter, not like a whole diary. He is feeling vulnerable. If he sees you aren't judging him for it, he'll be able to relax about it too. It was a pretty spicy enchilada for him to leave laying around like that. It's not like you cracked a safe to find it. Who could possibly stop themselves from reading a letter like that? Maybe make your own list comparing him to an ex and text him that you left it laying around the house but if he finds it you expect him to ignore it. I am full of bad advice tonight.
For her sex = marriage. Don’t waste your time, she wants to hop around and you wanna settle down. Y’all are going down two separate paths in life.
Just tell him, use 'I' statements: “Person, it's been nice having you around but this is way too close to living together than I am comfortable with. I need my space back so you need to start living elsewhere/home/whatever again.”
I am not liking how this guy operates, by the way. You don't just start living with someone and give up your own space. AND at 25, he went from his parent's to your place? This guy needs to adult on his own for a few years.
Meanwhile, if he argues with you, double down: “Listen – I'm not asking you, I'm telling you. This isn't a debate.”
If he wants reasons which he will try to negotiate away don't give him any: “Because this is what I want.” “Because this is best for me.” “Because I want to online alone.”
If he gets manipulative (like, 'But it's not fair! My parents don't have room anymore!): “You're 25, you'll be fine.” I'm sure your parents aren't going to make you sleep in the streets.”
There is only one acceptable response from him, and that is, Oh of course! Now he can be hurt or upset or whatever, but if he tries to negotiate, or guilt you, or manipulate you….please take that as a sign you are definitely doing the right thing.
Good luck OP.
She did what! Maaaaaaan, pack up you sh/t and leave! YES it hurts but how absolutely disrespectful! She wanted you to know that if you leave, she has someone else waiting. Gather the courage and self-esteem and divorce her!
Big hug and good luck x
You didn't go too far. Your girlfriend is a small-minded hypocritical asshole.
By the logic she uses to call you names, you could call her a jihadi and an imperialist because her ancestors spent many centuries waging jihadi wars, establishing empires, and conquering others in Central Asia and the Indian subcontinent well before the British arrived. Furthermore, Pakistan perpetrated a genocide in 1971 against what would become Bangladesh. Pakistan murdered up to 3 million Bengali civilians. Relatives of your girlfriend certainly took part in the genocide. Some of those relatives are likely still alive today, but the Bengali civilians they murdered are not. And you were right about terrorism. A few years ago, the Pakistani government admitted to funding and training terrorists in Kashmir for decades and this practice continues in the present.
? How funny that, as I predicted, you’d be rude and argumentative in your response.
I wish there were more people like you in the world.
I’m sorry your brother died, but glad he had someone who treated him lovingly and respectfully as he was leaving. My mom was caretaker for several family members and even as a little kid I was shocked by how quickly other family abandoned them! Even their kids!
Since you're the one asking and not them, my advice is to stay the fuck out of it.
I’m friends with a lot of women 40-90 because of the lesbian communities I frequent and activism that I do. They all view me as a kid in the way I view an 18 year old as a kid.
Assuming nothing changes in terms of his behavior (including his attitude and ambition), are you excited about a future with him?
Kids say the dumbest shit. My then 7 year old told my then 15 year old that my wife and I cheated on her mother. When asked, she couldn’t really define cheating and said she said it because I broke up with my ex wife.
Lmao also I'm heavily pregnant so i would never. Id end up posting myself about how my husband divorced me because i developed a drinking problem through reddit
What things has he done?
Yea that‘s true, I agree… like I don‘t understand this behavior. It just feels wrong for me to work on a sunday while he plays and then when I want to have a date night, he doesn‘t have any money.. but we have been together for 1 1/2 year and in 3 years he is done and will earn money.. so that‘s why I have hope
There are people in this world who can only be described as angels who are sent here to make the world a better place. You are one of these people. Don’t be discouraged by the opinions of other people. This isn’t just your ex husband. He is your son’s father. Your son will never forget how you took care of his dad in his time of need. You are amazing.
Well, if you don't want to be a father, don't have unprotected sex.
We are 3 hours away from each other. And I have never cheated I swore on pretty much everything I love at this point. But yea there is no real way to No for her or for me. But it’s gotten to the point where I don’t know if she’s doing something.
Always the people that are selfish and toxic that have lots of kids and drag other people down with them.
There are other places in Colorado that have better diversity than Boulder, there are some great areas just outside that area like Brighton, Thornton, and Westminster. Boulder is an expensive college town.
Your boyfriend's behavior is controlling AF. Get out of this relationship, this is how your entire relationship will be.
I can’t believe you’ve even tried. You are thinking about signing away parental rights because your daughter will “100% better off without you”, which is crap thinking honestly. Your daughter 100% needs you to step up and actually be a dad and not a biweekly acquaintance. Btw signing your parental rights away will usually not actually absolve you of needing to pay child support. Of course, if growing up and owning your responsibilities is too much for you, sign away, but either way you need to make sure you talk to am actual attorney to make sure you are covered.
You seem to have hyper insecurities… you need to work on yourself. You’re an adult crying over rock paper scissors as if you and your bf invented it together.
Getting married that young is a huge risk. You aren't enough. Nobody is enough. You can't fill bucket with too many holes in it, no matter how “much” you put in. She is hiding that she's more messed up than you realize. But also, don't get married to someone you have to wonder about. How is it going to work when she wants to be out with friends? When she starts to take you for granted again? You can't stop thinking about it because you know it's going to cost so much to try to make it work. You don't owe it to her or the relationship. Determination makes for a fair-weather commitment. Resolve fades. Her resolve will fade. Resolve isn't a substitute for true character development.
The reality is that she needs more than just determination and resolve to be faithful. She needs respect for commitment in general. It needs to be more than just about you and her. Otherwise she will just fool herself into thinking cheating is the better idea again. People tend to cheat because they have a loose relationship with hot to face things. So they pick the comforting lies instead of the uncomfortable truths that they have to make sacrifices, that those choices really are “that bad” ect. They can't prevent that from happening again, unless they prevent themselves from hiding from uncomfortable truths, including everything they don't want to think about.
So be the bad guy! Who cares! The relationship is over. Block him if he won't leave you alone. There's no mutual agreement to breaking up needed; once one person declares they're out it's over.
Based off of how she wrote this there’s likely a lot she’s not telling us. Probably two totally different sides of this story.
Get the fuck out before he kills you.
He doesn’t want to tell her because she would not be okay with him being with anyone else. He is being dishonest and that is not okay.
This is a new type of manipulative abuse I do not know about. I read this in shock as to how it kept going forward. I can understand how she/you got sucked into this by him using your feeling towards him against you. but reading this really upset me. This guy is a pro abuser, If you were my friend and she told me this story I would tell her to leave no matter what bc it's going to get much worse. Then go into therapy to fix what's broken and to understand and forgive yourself. Abusers come in all forms and know how to manipulate the mind. I wish you luck and am sorry that you are going thru this
My dad slept with his secretary and she blackmailed him after the company let her go. He’s either a sugar daddy or being blackmailed. Either way he likely cheated at some point.
Hon, sometimes tough love is required. You aren't being kind to your partner by treating him like this.
Based on everything else going on in your life in your history, I'd say now is a good time to be speaking with a professional if you are not already. Getting in touch with yourself will help you become confident and gain better communication skills, and give you tools to handle stressful situations.
You don't have to let your stress and your mental health shrink your life. I know it can be comfy when we build ourselves little cages where we feel like we can control things, but truth is your being controlled by the bad.
People are going to be a bit aggro because sometimes they see themselves in it. I know I let a friends mental illness take over my life. I know I've let my own get more control than it was warranted.
At the end of the day people here want you to grow and succeed, it's just your actions here are indicative you are not growing. We just want you to get the message: You deserve the help you need to get you where you need to be.
Trauma is one thing. It's real and effects people deeply. OP is the type of person to self diagnose every mental health problem under the sun from tiktok. She has “being called names” trauma don't you know.
Being pro-choice doesn't mean you will get an abortion. Just in case this is your actual thought process in the future. I know plenty of people who are pro-choice, but they would not get an abortion themselves. They just don't believe it is their right to choose for another woman.
How do you compromise between wanting to move and not?
OP, don't be sad, you dodged a bullet.
From the messages you showed. I don't think you will gain anything worthwhile from a further conversation.I don't think he wants you to reach out, and I don't think you should. For you more than him. I also don't think that leaving it there would be considered 'bad terms' he said he would reach out if he wants, the tone to me sounded 'nice'. Take it as 'good terms' You should take him at his word. And leave it there.
On a further note, you are worth more than paying people for conversations. Anyone who would only speak to you for a money insensitive is not worth the time. Just logically think:if they are only talking to you for money – why would you trust what they say? So what's to gain? You will only have more doubts and worries.
He has obviously hurt you, I can call him an asshole for what he's done, but you obviously care still. Use that care to allow yourself to leave him alone. And please, (if you can do something for a stranger on the internet) use that time, however you can, However works for you, to love yourself first. You don't exist for others. Its a hot lesson to learn for many, so don't beat yourself up. 🙂 But leave this part of your life, and find happiness elsewhere. I promise it's there.
Ong then once they get it they still aren’t satisfied. It’s okay to be insatiable that’s human nature but be greatful to
Man, almost all the shit you listed for reasons to stay are things he'd do without you, too. They are things that people do to online, not to help their spouse. You could change a light bulb, but you can't give yourself a back rub, you know what I'm saying? Why do you love him? Do that list.
OP has got a boyfriend problem. The girl has no boundaries. And does what she likes. And bf encourages/ humors that instead of telling her off.
i could, and if it really comes down to that i will. But i feel also like it’s sorta her responsibility. Idk
Sponsored parties or events where they rent out venues is probably what's happening here.
He is playing you and will use you and leave you
I understand your concern over biological clock, so maybe it could be good to look into other options. As for now this does not seem like an environment for kids. I understand your husbands mental health struggles because I, too, struggle with mental health.
But what you need to also remember is that your needs are important too. It can be hot to be rejected. I think it could be beneficial to consider couples counselling on top of his individual counselling, because I feel that this is going to be very hot to power through on your own. Of course, if you can.
I wish you and your partner the best and I really hope things work out for the both of you.
Insecure maybe…but I don’t control her in the slightest, I don’t even express my feelings on the matter to her for the most part.
I doubt that. Escorts wont put a finger on you pay them first.
Arranging a meeting, having the sex worker get ready, get dressed and arrive at the spot… that costs time. If he chickened out last minute, they'll still feel entitled to comp for their time.
I think they are 19 and 20?
He wants you to be his baby mama, takes care of his child while he strive at work and becomes rich. At some point, he will meet other woman whom he thinks is suitable to be his wife and leave you. You will end up just being a coparent.
Ditch this guy. He doesnt love you. He is just using you for sex and childrearing.
Its good that you tell him your timeline. It now opens your eyes about who he is.
Please please please do not give in, if he suddenly decides to propose to you within these next few months, he is being pressured after you asks him these questions.
Anyone that would make comments about their wives post-partum body is a complete jerk and yes, I'd say that type of character is capable of cheating and lying. It's really mean, what he does to you. You know that right? It's not normal and it's abusive and gross that he says anything about your body, and after you just created a human for him? He's awful.
She sounds depressed.
I definitely think you should go for the job. Is there an option for him to stay behind and work for a while and get some experience? I recently moved away from my partner when I got a great job offer but his work really needed him to stay. He eventually joined me 6 months later across the country.
He probably thinks u were lying about being ill
I agree, she's rejected the only options we have to rescue our relationship and there isn't much of a choice left for me. Thank you for reminding me to respect myself, it's odd to hear good advice from a stranger rather than someone I've trusted my life to.
Thank you man, hope all is well for you too. I'll keep my head up and focus on moving forward.
Weaponized incompetence – not worth your time.
Sounds like a case of arrested development. Something major or traumatic happened to him around 18, and he never mentally developed past that point.
He doesn't sound like a good partner or a good parent to your son. What exactly are you getting out of this relationship besides having to take care of 2 kids.