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Use hatred if you have to, but don’t let that feeling bleed over and distort the reality of the situation. You’ll slowly start to associate any memory, good or bad, with that hatred. It sounds like you should be investing that energy instead into working on yourself, and getting to the root cause of those trust/abandonment issues. Otherwise, all those harbored feelings will only infect any future prospects.
Christmas is coming… if you can stand it for 2 more weeks, buy her a “pampering pack”
If you don’t tell him and he finds out, that is divorce worthy.
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I really want you to think about this. I don't want you to make the situation worse for yourself.
This makes a lot of sense. I guess I just didn’t even think about it because I only have eyes for my wife but my wife pointed out other people don’t necessarily know that and it doesn’t have the best look in a vacuum so I should be more thoughtful.
What advice do you want? She told you what she'd do and she followed through.
Rent out your house/seperate rooms to people and ask for help from friends/family in moving into a smaller place on your own.. the rent from your place would cover the cost of living for the smaller place aswell as income tax from renting it out, that is unless you have a mortgage and whatnot, then you’d still have to pay for your new place but the rent would pay for the mortgage payments and such.
I would be out faster than a BMW driver in the passing lane. Lack of informed consent and trapping you with “don’t break up with me”. This is the same kind of shit cheaters pull. You can do better.
But who wouldn't let you into the meal until dessert? That's as f*cked up as any other part of this story.
You did nothing wrong, just accept those are his real colours and move on. He’s cold and selfish, go find better.
Oh and be sure to post on IG about how happy you are being single
You obviously know what to do.. show dominance–get her pregnant. /s
Yep. Heck i sat with the family at my partners grandmothers funeral when he couldn't go and I'd never met her.
I assume like you that there's cultural reasons she couldn't sit with OP.
So you aren't an AH for not wanting to pay for another adult, capable human.
Couples have lots of times in life where they support each other (one is sick, one loses a job, moving for a job, etc.) and income doesn't have to be equal all or any of the time.
I make more than my partner and have helped him with bills when he lost a job (pandemic, not his fault) and I pay for vacations because I want to go and he otherwise couldn't afford it. BUT, he can and does support himself and he works hard. So I am happy to fund the fun things I want to do with him, and to help out in emergencies.
What you have here is different. You have a girlfriend who isn't supporting herself, nor making any efforts to do so. If this is temporary (aka she is looking for work), then now is not the time for a vacation because she should be focused on finding a job. If she is fine not working, then you certainly shouldn't be funding fun things for her when she isn't trying at all.
You are 25, you have your whole life ahead of you. I believe that couples should support each other, but they also have to start off in the same place. You have a job, you are supporting yourself, you are building a life. She, at 29, is not doing the same thing. In your position, I wouldn't pay for anything for a partner who wasn't working by their own choice and also planning a trip they couldn't afford.
So, if you read this far, just tell her – oh, if you don't have money for the trip, let's just postpone until next year when you are working. Keep it simple, there is no judgment there, you are just being clear that you aren't covering the cost. If she throws a fit, well then you now she isn't the one. If she says “okay cool”, well then you plan for next year and see if she actually gets a job.
Just get things organised (talk to your parents and friends etc.), then sit down with him at a good time and say, 'This isn't working for me' and the conversation will go from there. You'll be fine. I know it feels like a huge thing, but it'll be over with relatively quickly and you can start rebuilding without him.
Fuck that. Divorce. He does not care about you. Period
He should be fully willing to sign a prenup especially with what’s on the table here. I’d be very cautious with that amount of money if I were you.
Naw he’s cappin. There’s no way anybody has a pussy so loose they can’t feel nothing.
I take any threats on my life seriously. Why wouldnt you?
Call the cops now or work on your will.
You will get child and spousal support if he has a good job. You need to leave him if not for you than for your son.