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This sounds very much like my dad: he has schizophrenia. In his case, there were people always listening and tracking him, they were everywhere, listening all phone conversations. He also was seeing demons or devils going out from tv etc. We had to take him to the hospital, months of treatment before he got better, now he is on meds and this helps a lot. Please take your wife to the psychiatrist because this all sounds serious. I would not trust her with baby as well
You’re both adults – why does it matter what her father does or doesn’t want? Is she in a position to leave her abusive family?
Why do guys who pearl-clutch over women's nipples always go to the dick comparison?
Alcohol and drug addiction is a difficult test for couples. Maybe you need to talk about her problem, offer to undergo rehabilitation (but she will probably refuse). Here, your girlfriend needs to want to give up drugs herself. And you decide to be with her in this difficult time or not.
If she ever did come back it would only be until the next better option came around. If she wanted you, she’d be with you. Close the door she’s “ leaving open” and focus on making yourself a better option for the other girls your missing out on while your ex is off screwing around.
Many states now have a law where if someone establishes residency in a house, in this case her name on your mortgage, you cant have them removed. Ive seen it where a guest in a house started having their mail sent to a home then refused to leave,since they established residence the police could not remove them. CYA because yes you have been together for a bit you could break up, then you wind up on the street not her and you still have to pay the mortgage
Wow you were so weak to stay four years ago. Should have put her trash butt to why curb then. She knew back then as soon as you didn’t file, that you were too weak to. She knew she could get away with whatever she wanted, and has until now. What you found out is only the tip of the iceberg.
She needs to call a DV hotline. Reach out to family.
Your part that evening was supporting your partner emotionally, not financially. You aren't just a bank
Tell them, you have exhausted your savings helping them and you can no longer do that for them. You are happy they are safe and you wish them the best. Tell them bless their hearts and good luck! ✌️
Hi thank you for your response. As I have responded to another person already: I am not asking him to discard, force, pressure or convince him of any of his values, that would be selfish and toxic. That is not the point of my original post.
This is my first time in a situation like this where I’ve been compatible with a person in every aspect but the sexual area. So it’s a new and peculiar situation I’ve found myself in, and I was just curious to see fresh perspectives.
Nah Something is going on between them for him to react this way.
Ok, you're obviously trolling. Nobody is this stupid
She’s being a child. What? Are you supposed to sit around and stare at her as she studies? It’s free time.
You are right – he seems to have made half-acknowledgments, but he also wants to say I am unreasonable for … really wanting him to have empathy for the impact the abuse had on me and a sense of understanding that he can’t do it again.
I can think of plenty of times in my life when I have felt that pang of sadness at somehow learning or realising I hurt or offended someone or let them down. It makes me want to go towards them, to say I’m sorry, to repair the relationship. Even accidentally bumping into someone – most of us want to quickly apologise and let the other person know we are sorry for the pain caused. I guess I was hoping that when he understood that the abuse was both hurtful and seriously damaging, he would have that ah-ha moment and want to come towards me for repair. Instead, our relationship patterns is often that if I try to bring up a problem, he becomes stand off ish and withdraws or sulks and I end up being the one who goes towards him and comforts him. Which is obviously not the way forward for a healthy relationship. I am trying not to do that anymore. His buying me flowers and doing numerous other things are undoubtedly ways he is reaching out and showing he cares and it does speak. I am just not getting the sense that he comprehends the damage of the abuse. I think he has a lot of denial and thinks his treatment of me was wrong but really just average issues and that I need to not dwell on the past.
I know he does not want to face consequences. I’m also probably not great at dishing out consequences. I would need lots of support to do that if I am to do it while married. I know some ppl would withhold sex, but in some ways that seems manipulative to me. My need for connection and closeness is really strong and this seems to work against me as well. I end up being affectionate and forgiving and it’s not in my nature to be hardline. I feel he takes advantage of this.
That’s your view but right now, he feels differently. Again, he is telling you what he needs. You are choosing to believe your judgement is more important.
This. She probably still gets help from her rich parents. Also, who the heck has 300k in savings already after graduating expensive medical school.
Holy shit, she sounds like successful at money, but failing at life. I’d run from her now
You've been in numerous long relationships, at 21? When did you start dating, in kindergarten?
Is she really supposed to tell men she can't add them on social media because she has a boyfriend? Is that really ya'lls standard between each other? Because that's toxic af.
I'm not sure how him not wearing a shirt makes him indecent.
I was literally asking am I asking too much from him to expect him to stay the night if I’m clearly upset.
And my mom isn’t mentally disabled, physically she’s losing her independence. She has always been like this, only she’s gotten worse verbally bc physically she’s not able to hit.
She chooses to wait until my stepdad leaves the room to lash out and say this shit she really wants to say and completely switches up when he gets back. She doesn’t have dementia…at least not at this moment
If the person I fell in love with was completely changing all the things I fell in love with them for visually, I think it would almost be like a death. Its grieving. Personally I dont know if I would continue a relationship if someone was going to change so drastically. You can do whatever you want to your body, but he doesnt need to be happy about it or even stay with you.
If this were her EX, I would have some what think it could happen, but a best friend boyfriend … are you insinuating that your GF of 7 years is having casual sex with this guy? Tbh I have never yelled out any name while I am having sex but then I am a guy … if that matters.
She is just going to deny everything, so I doubt talking to her would help. I think it is best to talk to him. Go talk to him all angry like but absolutely no physical contact. You do not want to go to jail over a cheating B. Tell him your GF told you that they have been having sex and now she is pregnant. See how he responses.
Find someone in their 30s. You're unlikely to have much in common with someone so much younger than you
Your time with your friend should be almost nothing right now…between the father of the baby(who you dont mention for some reason) and the two year old itself, there is very little time for going to the disco, having dinner out (which I bet the two parents would like to do), seeing a movie…wanna know why? mostly cuz a 2 year old is a handful and generally not a good idea to take to a movie, a restaurant or basically anywhere you mentioned. You know, since they are kinda disruptive and do their own thing.
Lifetime dog owner living in a city with a shit load of other dog owners, you have a pretty warped view of what is normal in that community.
You're 25 years old. An adult. You've made a decision, and you informed your parents. You don't need their permission.
When I was 25, my mother had just died from brain cancer. I moved to another country and got married (for the 1st time). That's the kinds of things adults do in their 20s.
so I can have a big hand in raising them during the formative years. Early childhood is so important and I know that if I was a parent I would want to be as involved as possible.
This is the bit that jumped out at me. Now maybe BF had no issue with this. But contrast OP “claiming” the right to be as involved as possible with any children, with BFs:
Then he accused me of sneakily trying to force him into making me a stay-at-home wife (??????) while he busts ass at work.
Which…yeah. OP is quite literally setting up a scenario where she spends all the important formative years with their kids, while her partner doesn't because they're responsible for all the monies.
I would not have been comfortable with any arrangement with my wife that sidelined me to “breadwinner” while leaving her as “involved parent”.
He's getting a lot of hate here, but in OPs own words, the only specific issue he brought up about her rules (beyond having them) was the bit where she spends all her time with the children and he's responsible for funding it all by himself.
That’s why it took 3 years