Okay first shes dumb or very close to it she could have easily done the orgy then confessed her feelings after.
This is gonna be a train wreck regardless bc what abt the nxt orgy opportunity or wild sex experience what then yall are dating then she wants a break just so she can do this one thing or that one thing ?
She’s already showing u how she thinks , “hey i really like u and only want to be with u so stay here & wait on me while i go fuck a bunch of ppl then we can be happy !!!!” This shows someone thought process whats nxt? “ So im not cool with u being friends with this girl u fucked but im abt to go spend the night & have a sleep over with this guy that i fucked okay see u later babe!!” . Lol this is not someone u should be in a relationship with at all dude. And just bc she offered a relationship doesn’t mean u have to agree. It already sound like you already have some form of resent towards the situation, bc she wants u to be tied down while she on-line out her fantasies that arent so easy for u to come by and this is before the relationship lmfao. Honestly i can see yall being that tit for tat couple no one breaks up or move on but stay together doing one fucked thing after the nxt to each other tryna one up the other pls keep it pushing i would have her blocked by the time she gets back from the trip especially since u already have feelings for her u have to lose them some kinda way right ? Might as well your gonna be bitter the whole time shes on the trip lol.
edit: This is why i cant do fwb u never know if youll catch feelings & what train wreck can happen bc of it. Update us op!
I’m curious, how does he know how much he’s going to make in 2023?
Anyways, there’s a few things you guys can do, most obviously he can put in more effort. You are very clearly communicating what you want and he’s dragging his feet. He also needs to not get so damn defensive about it, yelling at you for crying is cruel. But you never really mentioned what his love language is, is he maybe showing his love in other ways like shoveling snow off your car before work, or spending time with you? Or does he just recite off his grumpy financial opinions?
My partner and I are gamers, though him more than me because I’m in school and the SAHP. They also work day shift, 8-4, and we don’t have to be attached at the hip. I actually encourage them to game with their friends, especially on the weekends when they finally have time to relax.
We have 3 kids together and they can still be a parent and help me around the house while having game time.
Is there anyone that you guys trust to take your kiddo for a night so you two can have date night twice a month?
I’m sure she’s feeling the mental load, even though you clean and care for your kiddo, too, she’s home, alone, with the kiddo for 9 hours a day and I’m sure she’s feeling extremely isolated from other people, including you.
She shouldn’t be dictating your gaming time but it sounds like she needs more interaction from you and only just the two of you.
Maybe one weekend, arrange overnight child care for your daughter, send your wife out to get her nails done or something then while she’s out, cook dinner for her, have a hard bath ready and waiting for her and her favorite snack/drink for her to use while soaking in the bath.
I think she’s just starting to hit her limit because she sees you leaving the house for work then you get to game with your friends and she probably doesn’t have any friends, or people that she feels even remotely close with.
I think you and your wife need to sit down and have a serious conversation. Ask her where she’s at mentally and if she needs a break (which she probably does and doesn’t know how to ask for it or she feels mom guilt for even thinking about wanting a break) and find some way to help her with that.
Definitely google “the mental load” and “mom guilt” to get a better understanding of what they are and how to approach the situation.
You're not “withholding sex”, you're not attracted to and are creeped out by your husband. Withholding sex would be if you wanted sex too but were denying yourself and husband sex to get x out of him. That's not the case. You can't get turned on by his creepy pedo face. Should you be forcing yourself to have dry sex with someone who's appearance makes you uncomfortable?
I’m not saying that it’s not a committed relationship. I am saying that they should wait because they are barely adults and have been dating since they were teenagers.
Many are going to day to express feelings, have an intervention, etc but in reality and my experience with this, you need ti stand up for yourself and confront her. You're not in high school anymore, you're a grown man. You don't need to worry about societal or peer pressure and peer influence and the politics that surround high school years.
She clearly is tactical, she publicly apologized and made herself look innocent in front of your family to get them on her side. Well, nothing you can really do now until the fire dies down. Until then though, next time you are in the same place as her, hate to put it this way, but need to grow a pair and tell her to her face she's a c***, yeah she may have gotten the best of you in high school but this isn't high school anymore. She's also coming over to your family's house, your family. This isn't a school campus where she has free reign and you don't care if she's dating your cousin, she steps out of line again and wants to continue how she was in high school, well you're grown adults now, more things you have the capability to counter back with.
You need to remove her power over you because guess what, this little BBQ incident showed she still has that ability over you and only YOU can break that
Either there is more to the story, or your GF is really immature.
If she broke up just because your checked an IG page, be it an ex or not, she has deep anxiety issues and you should avoid this burden in your life as much as possible.
I always wait for my bf to say bless you I’m not entirely sure why but I like when he blesses my sneezes sometimes I’ll even text him if I sneeze just so he’ll say it it’s just something I’ve always found nice ??♀️
If you wait for her… at the BEST, you will be a living participation trophy… if she decides the grass wasn't greener, she didn't find the upgrade she wanted and settles for you. At the WORST she keeps you on pause from doing any growth of your own before walking away completely and leaves you with your ass in the breeze on a schedule convenient for herself.
She doesn't care. If she did, she would have been by your side life-building, not staring out the window, jealously watching dude-bros and whoo-girls walk by while she planned out a year of roleplaying being single instead.
There is the possibility of him falling in love with the baby once born. Men don't get attached like us women do? They don't feel the kicking etc I'd sit down as a couple and talk it through.. maybe give it a week or 2 (if you have that to spare) for him to think it through and relax
RemindMe! 1 week
Thank you so much for the advice, I definitely wont make this mistake again
No she's not that big. She's anxious and also has fibromyalgia.
Hi, can we address the whole 17 and 27 situation for christ’s sake?
They are a bad partner, but you are, too. Break up and get with someone who's a high earner.
Okay first shes dumb or very close to it she could have easily done the orgy then confessed her feelings after.
This is gonna be a train wreck regardless bc what abt the nxt orgy opportunity or wild sex experience what then yall are dating then she wants a break just so she can do this one thing or that one thing ?
She’s already showing u how she thinks , “hey i really like u and only want to be with u so stay here & wait on me while i go fuck a bunch of ppl then we can be happy !!!!” This shows someone thought process whats nxt? “ So im not cool with u being friends with this girl u fucked but im abt to go spend the night & have a sleep over with this guy that i fucked okay see u later babe!!” . Lol this is not someone u should be in a relationship with at all dude. And just bc she offered a relationship doesn’t mean u have to agree. It already sound like you already have some form of resent towards the situation, bc she wants u to be tied down while she on-line out her fantasies that arent so easy for u to come by and this is before the relationship lmfao. Honestly i can see yall being that tit for tat couple no one breaks up or move on but stay together doing one fucked thing after the nxt to each other tryna one up the other pls keep it pushing i would have her blocked by the time she gets back from the trip especially since u already have feelings for her u have to lose them some kinda way right ? Might as well your gonna be bitter the whole time shes on the trip lol.
edit: This is why i cant do fwb u never know if youll catch feelings & what train wreck can happen bc of it. Update us op!
it does not seem like a good idea to have kids with this child any time soon/ever
BTW? I guarantee you have more to offer than you think you do.
The grass isn't always greener. If you broke up with your gf now, would you regret it or would you regret all the fictional girls you didn't get?
Your BF is an asshole
That is such an insensitive comment to make out of the blue.
Bigger question is, do you really want to tolerate a person that treats your emotions so poorly?
I’m curious, how does he know how much he’s going to make in 2023?
Anyways, there’s a few things you guys can do, most obviously he can put in more effort. You are very clearly communicating what you want and he’s dragging his feet. He also needs to not get so damn defensive about it, yelling at you for crying is cruel. But you never really mentioned what his love language is, is he maybe showing his love in other ways like shoveling snow off your car before work, or spending time with you? Or does he just recite off his grumpy financial opinions?
Predator much?
You deserve so much better. You're miserable and it will only get worse. Life is too short to stay in a miserable relationship.
You knew this going in… why did you ever date him to begin with if this is a deal breaker for you? No dogs is literally what you signed up for.
How do you think I could approach a conversation about all of that with her?
My partner and I are gamers, though him more than me because I’m in school and the SAHP. They also work day shift, 8-4, and we don’t have to be attached at the hip. I actually encourage them to game with their friends, especially on the weekends when they finally have time to relax.
We have 3 kids together and they can still be a parent and help me around the house while having game time.
Is there anyone that you guys trust to take your kiddo for a night so you two can have date night twice a month?
I’m sure she’s feeling the mental load, even though you clean and care for your kiddo, too, she’s home, alone, with the kiddo for 9 hours a day and I’m sure she’s feeling extremely isolated from other people, including you.
She shouldn’t be dictating your gaming time but it sounds like she needs more interaction from you and only just the two of you.
Maybe one weekend, arrange overnight child care for your daughter, send your wife out to get her nails done or something then while she’s out, cook dinner for her, have a hard bath ready and waiting for her and her favorite snack/drink for her to use while soaking in the bath.
I think she’s just starting to hit her limit because she sees you leaving the house for work then you get to game with your friends and she probably doesn’t have any friends, or people that she feels even remotely close with.
I think you and your wife need to sit down and have a serious conversation. Ask her where she’s at mentally and if she needs a break (which she probably does and doesn’t know how to ask for it or she feels mom guilt for even thinking about wanting a break) and find some way to help her with that.
Definitely google “the mental load” and “mom guilt” to get a better understanding of what they are and how to approach the situation.
Like a filled up bathtub, you just pull the plug with a POP! Then watch it all drain away~
You're not “withholding sex”, you're not attracted to and are creeped out by your husband. Withholding sex would be if you wanted sex too but were denying yourself and husband sex to get x out of him. That's not the case. You can't get turned on by his creepy pedo face. Should you be forcing yourself to have dry sex with someone who's appearance makes you uncomfortable?
I’m not saying that it’s not a committed relationship. I am saying that they should wait because they are barely adults and have been dating since they were teenagers.
We all thought we were grown at 23. Every one of us. Time tells different. You'll find out eventually.
Ugh. This sucks.
But the answer here is simple. Continue what you are doing and get into therapy to work through the guilt.
Many are going to day to express feelings, have an intervention, etc but in reality and my experience with this, you need ti stand up for yourself and confront her. You're not in high school anymore, you're a grown man. You don't need to worry about societal or peer pressure and peer influence and the politics that surround high school years.
She clearly is tactical, she publicly apologized and made herself look innocent in front of your family to get them on her side. Well, nothing you can really do now until the fire dies down. Until then though, next time you are in the same place as her, hate to put it this way, but need to grow a pair and tell her to her face she's a c***, yeah she may have gotten the best of you in high school but this isn't high school anymore. She's also coming over to your family's house, your family. This isn't a school campus where she has free reign and you don't care if she's dating your cousin, she steps out of line again and wants to continue how she was in high school, well you're grown adults now, more things you have the capability to counter back with.
You need to remove her power over you because guess what, this little BBQ incident showed she still has that ability over you and only YOU can break that
Either there is more to the story, or your GF is really immature.
If she broke up just because your checked an IG page, be it an ex or not, she has deep anxiety issues and you should avoid this burden in your life as much as possible.
Be glad
I always wait for my bf to say bless you I’m not entirely sure why but I like when he blesses my sneezes sometimes I’ll even text him if I sneeze just so he’ll say it it’s just something I’ve always found nice ??♀️
Agreed. I was thinking she tried to slap him first, then he grabbed her.
The hurt will fade ?
Yeah I mean I think that’s a good way of describing it. I really want it to work, but we’ll need some type of counseling for it to improve.
You mention you’re obsessed. Yes your are. You’re all needy. She doesn’t find that attractive. Hence the pushback.
Menopause, maybe? She could be dealing with hormonal changes.
The texts and secrecy are proof of an inappropriate behavior but not solid evidence of an affair.
She'll blow the texts off as harmless fun.
If you wait for her… at the BEST, you will be a living participation trophy… if she decides the grass wasn't greener, she didn't find the upgrade she wanted and settles for you. At the WORST she keeps you on pause from doing any growth of your own before walking away completely and leaves you with your ass in the breeze on a schedule convenient for herself.
She doesn't care. If she did, she would have been by your side life-building, not staring out the window, jealously watching dude-bros and whoo-girls walk by while she planned out a year of roleplaying being single instead.
There is the possibility of him falling in love with the baby once born. Men don't get attached like us women do? They don't feel the kicking etc I'd sit down as a couple and talk it through.. maybe give it a week or 2 (if you have that to spare) for him to think it through and relax