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I don’t see why they would. It’s a 2-on-1 handicap match in your favor.
You need to give yourself permission to end this relationship. You keep rationalizing and saying “but he's such a good guy!” When your gut is screaming at you to run away!
breakup with your partner? Dont be that shitty person that strings along a person. In my eyes, “once a cheater, always a cheater” With the “once a cheater, always a cheater”, what did you expect from the woman?
Don't do it. It'll blow up in your face when they figure it out
My (now ex) husband lost some weight, got into fitness and changed up his hair and he started getting a lot more attention from women. I once overheard him tell a guy friend that he was “at the peak of his powers.” He left me for another woman after being together for 24 years. If a person who has felt like an ugly duckling most of their life suddenly becomes a swan, it can change them in ways you wouldn’t expect.
I don’t know why you’re getting downvoted. You sound very self aware and it seems you’re already taking steps in the right direction!
I don’t have any useful advice because retroactive jealousy isn’t something I struggle with. I can only encourage you to keep up the self reflection always.
I assume you’ve talked to your therapist about it. Have they provided some techniques?
Lots of couples sleep in different rooms and her sleep is important. You're staying up because you want to while she's sleeping because she has to in order to have enough sleep to care for baby.
If you're staying up so much, how much night work are you doing for baby?
I'd think you gaming so much when you have a baby will hurt your relationship far far worse. You've got a baby. Hobbies go away for a bit. That's what you signed up for.
You're right, You come across as shallow.
Is he a good man that provides for most of your needs? Did he even get ANY gift at the appropriate time, showing at least he cared enough to do so? He didn't HAVE to do anything.
Men aren't as interested minute details in people's interests and tastes as women are…it's in our wiring. Expecting him to perceive things as you do, is a mistake.
But they got engaged in NYC and it was magical! Isn’t that enough?!
/s
Same thing happened to my friend in flight school, he is still with his girlfriend, don’t know how they worked it out though.
Justify all you want. You’re a cheater. “I felt like this” blah blah blah
Tell your fiancé so he can find someone who loves him and doesn’t stab his heart into oblivion.
Do something right FOR ONCE.
That doesn't negate the fact that this is an immature decision though.
Assuming the best case scenario, you made a bad mistake in not keeping your gf up to date about why you're going to a club randomly to help your friend before actually getting there. So, make sure you keep her up-to-date when plans change to try and avoid this again.
As for advice about the friend, you can't really do much aside from being honest with your bf about how her friend's lies have affected you. Continue to (I assume you are, at least) not be around her, and stand your ground if your gf is trying to get you both together to hang out.
If you feel strongly enough about not wanting that friend in your gf's life without you around, you can give an ultimatum about staying with your gf if she drops the friend, or leaving her if she chooses to stay friends with her friend. But, know that you might lose your gf if you do this, depending on how much she values her friendship with the other girl – you two haven't been together very long, so it's a possibility that she chooses the friend of 10+ years over the bf of 1-2 years.
But, either direction you go in, you need to keep that toxicity away from the baby and look out for their best interest first, and then your own. Good luck.
I felt some sort of trust was broken
Is that because y'all had previously talked about boundaries around this kind of behavior? If not, why not? If so, what, exactly, had y'all established?
I get that games like this aren't fun for everyone, but I don't understand why folks in the comments expect everyone to suddenly hate them at a certain age. People have different tastes and different interests. People have different responses to group activities. I don't think you should ignore your feelings, but I don't think you should blame your girlfriend for doing something outside your boundaries if y'all never talked specifics on those boundaries.
Does your husband have ADHD?
me too, idk why i come into posts like this knowing i’m gonna feel sick but still read them anyway
Why are you still dating this guy? What attracted you to him in the first place? Do you think the example you are setting for your children is a good one?
Don't date deadbeat dads who don't contribute! You already have kids, you are wasting resources that can take care of them in him!
also to clarify it wasn't about a specific encounter, it was posed more as a hypothetical question for her upcoming trip to Miami. Sorry if I worded it wrong
Is he religious or does he have a tiny wang?
He probably puts himself in other’s shoes including show characters and has been cheated on before. It’s a normal reaction he simply doesn’t want to feel those same feelings again.
A block button exists for a reason you should use it sometime.
So, when she didn't like you, she bullied you. Now that she likes you, she'll get to date you.
Man, being a hot girl really allows you to get away with anything.
I agree. It's not who you are now, but some people won't appreciate that.
Honestly, I need some space sometimes from my husband. I need time alone, I need time with my friends, etc. It would be hot being with just him for 3 months and not argue here and there.
You guys have been vacationing for 3 months straight. Maybe you just need a little break, and that’s ok!
Honestly sit down and talk to your dad. Let him know you want him to walk you down the aisle. Roger and everyone else can assume what they want. You do not owe him that role. If someone gets hurt at least they are older than 7 and can manage that pain.
Sounds like your girl is an alcoholic
That unwanted and/or too soon groping shit bugs me, and in this context, 10000% not okay. I’m sure you felt extremely uncomfortable. I would not see him again. Even if you discuss it, who knows what he’s do next time. What a grabby douche.
what really changed?
you were/are in love with the mrs. her loving her bff didn't change her love for you. you've been happy remaining in the dark. so, what changed is you feel insulted by them going behind your back. get over-it. if you love your wife then you recognize that she needs something that you aren't and haven't been able to provide to a bisexual woman. don't stand in the way of your partner being happy.
you said the focus of the 3-some was on you. if their focus is on making you the center of their lives then pursue it. i'd say 'listen, i will offer a 3-month trial. at the end of 3 months we have a family council and everyone lays out their evaluation. if any of us has problems with it at any point then the test is over. i am making a big consolation to my life and i expect some sincere appreciation. any degradation in my primary relationship and i pull the plug'
Massive red flags that you are second place to his parents. Now is the time to set a very huge boundary and insist they stay elsewhere or walk if you aren’t ok with it. If you still have your own place maybe don’t move back and show that you are serious.
Also if she took your car you need to report it stolen.
Don’t be with somebody that you know wants somebody else unless you want your feelings hurt or enjoy drama.
Your last sentence is exactly it. She wants you to feel terrible and not heal, because she isn’t getting what she wants (you to babysit).
This is why I think she is lying.
She picked the one thing that would really fuck up your mental health and drag you down to her level. She didn’t care if it was a lie. She wants you to feel as mentally f**ked up as she is.
First, I wasn't minimizing anything. I gave background info. I figured it'd help if people knew about what happened in her past. Second, I was confused and was looking for clarification so I could understand the exact scope of what I did.
I would press pause on the wedding until SO talks if it were me.
*another guy
Both are male.
I’m failing to understand what is sexy about stank breath, dead rodent feet, and probably onion body odor balls…. You need to have a conversation with him because this is truly disgusting… is it possible he has an issue with his mental health? Sometimes hygiene can be difficult with someone struggling from depression or other mental health issues.
That’s jumping to conclusions. I go for work drinks all the time and no one’s partners attend. It’s simply not part of the culture. None get invited to any work events either. It’s just staff.
Is what it is.
Y'all are living way outside your means. Get that shit handled. As for 50/50, you agreed to it, if you don't like it renegotiate. If he isn't willing to renegotiate break up.