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Aren’t the parents travelling for Christmas? Jeez… Anyway, I’m out! I keep getting this answer mixed up with another.
His priorities where set 8 years ago and it's not going to change.How many more years do you need to see you will always be second best?he not even showing signs of wanting to change the dynamics of your relationship but keeps reminding you that your not his first choice. Your dating an inconsiderate and selfish man has wasted 8 years of your life waiting for something that seems won't ever come. Prioritize yourself and leave where you are not valued.
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Why do they need to be friends?
The solution he is that he DOES ask her to stop. The end.
She’s emotionally dependent or him or occasionally wants that support from him. That’s not really appropriate anymore for her to do. The right thing is for him to stop that and set boundaries with her.
You should agree to his solution…
Id their friendship ends after that then it ends. Not ur fault or concern
Sit him down when he doesn't have other things to do, and tell him that you expect him to act as a damn adult.
He shouldn't be nagged into doing things. He should be adult enough to recognize that they need to be done.
You can be a little more flexible if he takes more time than you'd like, but he should be aware that no, the trash can't stay there until it grows new forms of life, it must be taken out regularly.
If he isn't enough of an adult to recognize that basic house chores need to be done (and, again, pick your battles and only insist on what's absolutely non negotiable) maybe he isn't enough of an adult to live! with a woman or to become a father. In that case, he's more than welcome to start discussing child support and living arrangements, because you're having a baby soon, and you should only be a mother to your baby, not to your boyfriend too.
It's a matter of mental load. He's not doing stuff because he thinks that you'll deal with them eventually, and it's not on him to think of all the chores or the consequences of them not being done. Make it his business.
Is he going to leave dirty diapers on for hours if you don't remind him to change the baby? Is he going to wonder if there's take out for babies because he didn't bother to check whether there was enough baby food?
If you feel that having your own sexual encounter with someone else is your only way to heal, then by all means explore that option. With that said there is a right and wrong way to do that. Don’t do it to hurt him. Don’t do it in a way that would put yourself or him at risk. If you did plan on doing it I would encourage a lot if discussion with your therapist about it beforehand. Talk it over with your therapist and WH so he knows where your head is at and what you are thinking. Do it if you have decided that it is what you need to help you heal. Don’t do it if you are trying to make him feel something or teach him a lesson.
You are the problem here. You trapped somebody into a life they explicitly told you they didn’t want and forced a man to marry you not for love. Stupidity. He’s not going to be happy because he’s not in a relationship he wants and that’s on you. He should never have stayed with you and you need to let him leave you.
I’d mind my business
OP is totally unwilling to accept that someone can accept her as she is. By her posts it looks like he loves her fully (looks and personality) and tries to make her feel more confident through his love but OP refuses to believe that.
I just really care about him and don't want to hurt him
Imagine swapping the pronouns. BF regularly out to 3am with “lesbian” friends and refuses to answer texts after previously having a little text fling with a female coworker. Hits a bit different.