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Hey I'm in a relationship, maybe I can help you out in pm 🙂
If you’re gonna put up with this weird behaviour you may as well go outside, lie down next to your front door and fully commit to your role as a doormat
My advice to you is to punch him in the mouth and then ask the doctor for the “wife stich”, where he stitches up his mouth a bit ” for good measure” ,so it easier for him to shut to fuck up.
Yeah that's just your roommate with benefits
Good for you. Should we force everyone to behave exactly as you do?
If you think this is what your love of your life looks like then I feel for you. He doesn't respect you. These jokes aren't jokes. Plus he's told you if you get married he will cheat. No is a full sentence and you don't need to have any reason to justify why you don't want a 3 some. The fact he keeps brining it up says it all. He's hoping to wear you down. So just put a stop to it once and for all and just break things off. He's not going to let this one go. And you keep tolerating him asking. You've said no. He won't accept it. Move on. There are better people out there
So he can be but not you???
Fuck that guy sorry not sorry
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It's her GF's business who knows. Your sister was doing the right thing by letting her decide when to tell you.
So while you're wife is working the big hours, you do have to pick up the household duties. It's just how it is really.
I don't mean to sound harsh (I'm also part time in our company hubby does full-time long ass hours and I'm full-time at home with 2 kids with high needs so I get the stress) but someone always has to take charge in the house and that's usually the partner that works the least or has the most flexible job.
I have no doubt you are tired and stressed and I also have no doubt that your wife knows it but you can't afford to lose income from either source. But this always ends in an imbalance of domestic duties.
Maybe look into some sort of budget for a cleaner to at least relieve some of that stress and remind yourself that it's ok to leave the dishes sometimes or have cereal for dinner or let the kids have a pj day!
From what your husband knows, it just sounds like your sister doesn’t feel like living with your parents anymore and had bad spending habits. You have to tell him
Nope! Just want he'd at home in private, relaxing and or listening to music. I don't think I've ever seen him do it in public?
Sure it’ll be an adjustment as a single mother with three children, but by the sounds of it right now you’re taking care of four children, so it can only improve with him out of the picture
Maybe non-sexual touch? Status? Support of a partner?
Just guesses, I've never actually met anyone in such a relationship. You're probably right, sounds like something that would be very rare.
While I understand this,
I also do majority of the chores in the house.
I cook. I clean. I take care of the cats. I do our laundry and the dishes. I take out the trash and also do heavy install of furniture (we are redoing the apartment, most of the building she asks me to do and set up and place things). She makes time for herself, I always give her a expectation when I’m home. And it’s not entirely just sex, we don’t even talk about anything, she just wants sleep, and while so do I, cause I wake up early morning to drive her to work, I want to see her just as much so I try to make the effort to have energy, even if I don’t get a cookie, intelligent conversation or even making a midnight snack together or a board game.
And then when she has spare time she says she’s leaving for an hour and will be back before I get home at 6 for example. She won’t be back till 930, doesn’t follow up with what going on either to let me know “hey this happened”.
I recommended counseling and we have done it in the past. We have a appt scheduled for that!
I’m a very simple person, I see an issue, I like to discuss it and have a solution hopefully soon and if we can’t we work forward finding one. In the past none of this was a issue, I’ve been working the same hours for a few years now as it was a problem before that I don’t bring home enough money….
Yes
She did you a big favor.
UpdateMe!
Based on this I think that you should really consider therapy so that you can unpack why you ever would have gone on a second date with this man to begin with.
This is not the guy for you.
Girl, you deserve better than this dipshit.
“Sugar baby” is not NOT what I would call those transactions.
That said, it’s all in the telling. “I dated/saw a creep who bought me a lot of gifts and helped me financially, but I feel bad about it now”, is a lot different than “I was briefly a high-end call girl.”
You’re young. You will be 30 and one day you’ll laugh your ass off reading this post.
She's a nice girl
No, she ain't.
It's not affecting our relationship
Yes, it is.
Look, your broken moral compass aside for one second, you are right about their relationship. She fucked him up and he hasn't recovered. Usually that's why it's a bad advice to get into relationship with broken people who haven't healed yet. Now you're in the deep waters. Either you take the action you should've taken from the start and end it or stay but deal with the recovery journey he needs to go through in the meanwhile. Either way, he needs to get to therapy and I'm not sure if he will or not at this point.
I've tried to separate a few times but everytime I would take it back because I felt bad for him or that he could generally try to change.
I just keep feeling like I'm trapped with him emotionally. I keep bouncing back between being happy with him and falling into a depression where I realise I can't trust him.
This is really, really common, especially after a breakup you initiate. It's the mark of a good person, but also of one who needs more boundaries. You love the other, in a way, and you don't want to see them hurting. Hurting them feels unnatural, because as their partner, it used to be your job to help take care of their happiness – especially in the situation you both were in, together. And… it is in your power to take the hurt away! So you talk yourself into that, convincing yourself that the other 'can change'. Despite your misgivings, you take him back. And this makes you feel good for a while, because… you took away the hurt.
But can you also see where they don't do the same for you, now. They actively add to your unhappiness, at the moment, with their actions. Here comes your realisation that 'you can't trust him'. It's true.
You need boundaries, and distance. The distance to disentangle yourself from this emotional bond you share, in order to focus on yourself. The boundaries in order to see where your responsibility lies, and doesn't. You are not responsible for his emotions. Not even as their partner.
I think you need to go no contact. It's the hard way in the short term, but it will save you from a drawn-out process of push and pull.
Thanks! Yeah, I don’t intend to find casual ones anymore. This was the first casual and I think from this I learned it will just be a cycle of chasing excitement which fades. I realized I want long lasting and security
It's been 3 months since the breakup. We dont really talk anymore. I understand why. I can tell you she doesn't love me anymore.
One of the cases where I’d say get pregnant. If he doesn’t like it, he can leave. He has put every single load on you. If he loves you, he’ll stick by around. If not, best to know now.
I guessing he prob wasn’t being very open and honest with his therapist.
Listen she’s telling you and showing you that this is normal for her and she will continue to do it. Now it’s up to you to figure is this is what you want and if this is something you want to deal with. You can’t force her to cut it off she needs to want to do that on her own. But know this will be your life, if you are okay with it then stay if not then leave. It’s been 2 years and she hasn’t and isn’t going to change.