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u/helpthisgeekout, it looks like you're trying to post a throwaway submission. Your account is too young and/or your comment karma is too low.
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That’s where your comment collapses on itself. We are deeply committed. We have sex, we have fun, we hang out, we don’t have and don’t want kids, we don’t combine accounts, we split everything. We live together and have separate lives, the way it should be.
Nah, doggos are never a dumb suggestion! ?
Of course you can. Married people also have crushes. They understand it's a passing attraction and stay with theur spouses like normal people. Just on this subreddit I have seen hundreds of people in relationships or marriages that got crushes on someone. Usually they ask normal stuff whether to tell their partners and how to fet over it as fast possible. They don't want to leave their partners with whom they are happy and they do stay with them. If every crush meant broken marriages like 99 out 100 would fall apart. What aliens are you people
I grew up Christian, have you prayed about it? Do you feel guided in any direction?
I think my community pressured me to accept a non-loving divine voice and confused me to understand guilt & shame as the voice of God… For me now, away from a Christian community, I can recognize more clearly a loving voice that feels much more divine than what the church was convincing me to believe was god…
Curious if you feel any guidance from God?
Be honest to her like you were in you post.
Tell her that you are sorry for being so rude back then and that had a lot of growing up to do all these years ago.
She will mostlikely not be angry anymore (or she would have declined your friendrequest)
If someone tells you she doesn’t want to date you, BELIEVE HER.
Get ready for this to go very south. She’s potentially going to find herself in the pants of some other dude.
It’s probably the tenth one in like a day
I am getting the feeling that she is looking for a bigger/better deal and by dating someone else, she is opening herself to emotional intimacy vice just FWB scenario.
Generally, there are three major considerations that have to be discussed before opening up a marriage:
What do you do if one of you gets an STI with no cure What do you do if she gets pregnant and wants to keep the baby or you get someone pregnant One of you falls in love with someone else.
It sounds to me like your marriage is already over but good luck.
Maybe try to master phrases like “that must be really hard for you” and “I can see how difficult this is for you”. If you've chosen to date someone who likes to complain but takes any hint of striving for a solution as a challenge to their righteous misery all you can really do is empathize. She doesn't want you to understand. She doesn't want you to suggest ways she could resolve her problems. She wants you to tell her that her issues are unique and special and that it's unfair she has to face these problems.
You’re gaslighting her.
probably meant those things
Then why would he laugh when OP got upset over it? Why wouldn't he write those things if he meant them?
OP just has an extremely immature partner and shouldn't just “let it go”, unless of course they plan to break up with them
What draws you to her? Do you think it's her or nobody? She treated you like crap, is that what you think you deserve?
One thing I always repeat is 'it's not your fault, but it's your responsibility'. It's your responsibility to improve yourself, it's your responsibility to move on.
Look at her realistically and know she's not healthy for you – stop pretending she can be. Build up your confidence and be happy within yourself, then open yourself to others, because there's many people in the world and many will treat you better.
You both should heal together. You were ignoring him all these while you think he wasnt grieving as well?. Its a decision he made.
If you want to save this marriage, talk to him, let go and heal together.
He needs therapy as you dont even have a “past”
You lived a normal life where I wouldnt even entertain that word
You might need to accept that he may not be able to give you an explanation. You’re justified in wanting one but it’s obvious, by his behavior, that talking to you about stuff isn’t a priority for him.
If he’s giving you the silent treatment instead of talking to you then why drag it on?
I like talking things out, too, but there has to be a time where it’s like “no, I value me more”