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This is the child. This is the way. What if his name Grogu?
Exactly, i have been thinking about this and it makes me think:
I end up feeling like an asshole if i leave her and at the same time i am an asshole if i stay 🙁
They're incompatible, she'll find that out sooner or later.
Oh my god, that's awful. That's my worst nightmare. I don't want to believe Mike would do something like that. Regardless of his intentions, teenagers do not need creepy adults trying to get involved while they are figuring these things out.
That's the single biggest indicator that your partner will kill you one day. He will do it again.
??????
I actually think you need to discuss this in couples counseling. u/AffectionateAd5373 makes a good point. While it may not be deliberate or conscious, if he's the one driving this proposal and he's ignoring your wishes, it's a warning flag that he isn't getting it right.
You sound like someone like me. I don't have a lot of preferences until I do. I could easily drift into an engagement with someone who was actually incompatible with me BECAUSE I so infrequently expressed any preferences. Whatever avoided conflict was fine. No one can spend their life that way. You can't give up your wants for the rest of your life to appease a partner. He'll think your the best wife. You'll be miserable.
It sounds like this might be a thing here if you always get gifts that don't fit you. That sounds like he doesn't think he has to listen to your preferences. Usually that happens to people who are either easygoing or people pleasing.
She is still with him. No she isn’t. I think she puts his needs above what should be done
No i think she has been dropping hints or tried to break up and you just didn't listen. You. Have 2 choices live! with your new normal until she breaks up with you, or break up.
Are you going to have kids with this guy? How will you explain to your current kids that they are second class citizens when they are still kept a secret and don't travel to France for holidays, but they new sibling does? Don't you think your husband will also focus on new kid and stop paying attention to your current kids?
Has it been over a year since your wife gave birth? Or is your wife breastfeeding still? Both of those could play a huge part in her (over)reaction, my hormones were a god damn monster until months after I stopped breastfeeding. Everyone told me hormones get back to normal a year after having a baby, but yeah for me, it was more like almost two.
I again want to be absolutely clear that I don’t think a divorce should ever be top of mind in this situation given the context provided. It just makes no sense.
Either way, it’s not really about 50/50. That’s impossible to quantify. I think there’s a preconceived notion out of context that in these situations it’s one person earns income and the other takes care of the home and children.
That might very well be the case in a given situation and that’s fine. Like I said before, it’s not up to us. Now, to be fair to you, in the present, my wife and I both work full time and our 2 year old goes to daycare. We don’t have 3. We want them but it’s been a struggle. I digress.
Post-birth, my wife decided to take a year off. I very quickly learned how frustrating that can be; and my wife absolutely never complained. I just saw it in her face. But for the sake of easy math, I worked 9-5. Between me getting up for work and getting home, she was taking care of our newborn and taking care of the house where it made sense.
But then I got home. Let’s say 6. I now just relax and she continues on? Is she not exhausted? Yes, I was tired. So was she. But not we’re together. So then we decided how to split the rest of the night. She put the baby to bed. I made dinner. You learn from each other and adjust. At some points my wife pointed things out that I didn’t realize at all due to the fact I had gotten used to them. It wasn’t nagging. It was communicating reality.
You have 3. So talk talk talk and talk some more and don’t feel bad about it. He can say no if he thinks you’re being unreasonable and I promise you I did the same.
People far too often fail to realize the importance of their relationship after having children. It matters. So if you ask for help with something that’s objectively reasonable and he says no, you’re going to be pissed. You might go ahead and do it, but now your relationship is on the rocks. It’s a complicated balance.
I feel so conflicted cause I want the kids to but I want his last name.
Maybe he doesn’t want to check in?
The question is whether you can live! with it.
She needs to get a life. I had no idea about this & I think Ive gotten them like 4 times in my life & 2 were from my ex husband.
It’s ultimately up to you. It is your body. You’re the one that has to wear it.
But the consequences will also be on you. You know he dislikes it, so if he stops touching you or decides to divorce,
If my gf/wife got a tattoo that I just couldn’t look past, because of placement, theme, or it was trashy, we’d be done. Being attracted to a woman is important for me. If I’m not attracted to my gf/wife anymore, it would kill the rest of the relationship.
She’s a controlling asshole, you should dump her and draw what you want.
I'm with you, I am so lost as to why her bf hasn't dumped her yet. So she doesn't cheat physically, just emotionally.
I'm American and the only ex I wouldn't be okay with spending time with was an abusive alcoholic that exploded our relationship by cheating on me. All of my other ones, I'm good friends with. Sometimes relationships just fizzle out, and if there's no abuse or trauma there's no reason we have to lose our friendships when the romance is gone. Especially long relationships where we have also bonded with each others' families.
This comment is pure gold. Watch him back pedal or accuse HER of ‘giving up’ as soon as she agrees to the divorce.