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Don't move out until you have your finances sorted and any further education done that you want. You have it really good where you are, and everything is so expensive at the moment.
I just want to flag for you that if the scammer was able to find your Facebook, your husband likely shared his full name with this person. In general, wherever your relationship goes, you need to have a talk with him about cyber security (including live dating, talking to cam girls, etc). If he’s sharing his full name like that with internet scammers, he’s putting you and your kids at risk.
100% this. And the girl may end up financially benefiting by receiving a share of the ex husbands cut post-divorce, this needs to be exposed to the courts.
Get a paternity test and be a better person. All of you. Goodness.
Pray that it does, before she spreads lies about you next.
Maybe the wife is jealous because of nothing the babysitter is doing, but because you hold the babysitter in such high regard. Not that it justifies her jealousy, or her harassment and character defamation, but that may give you some direction on the root of the issue. So if youre trying to resolve the situation by saying “hey she is fantastic and does a lot of good, and youre doing a lot of bad,” that might explain how the situation is getting worse.. because she is jealous that you might think the babysitter is better than her.
It might be worth a conversation or even a lunch /date to tell your wife all the things your wife is fantastic at, hows she is great with the kids, etc etc (a. if you mean it and b. to disarm her some)… and tell that both of you have a responsibility to yall relationship to be honest and open if something internal or external is destabilizing your commitment to each other. If you felt or were suspicious there were something happening with the babysitter, you would tell her. And likewise, she needs to tell you of her concerns. Theres an appropriate and inappropriate way to address a relationship concern. Making a private decision… even if it involves several discussions and disagreements… on how to move forward with the babysitter is the correct way. Dragging the babysitter through the mud is completely inappropriate. Youd wish next time something like this comes up, she would talk to you first as a partner rather than act on it and you find later. That she come talk to you whether she is certain of it or not or feels completely valid in her anxiety or feels completely ridiculous.
From what youve said, she probably knows her thoughts arent valid which is why this has played out this way. The relationship needs to find resolve to be open, and try to be patient and understanding even in stark disagreement.
It sounds like they tried to hide it from their kid because maybe they knew he’d handle it like this?
He caught his mother in public with another guy in an obviously intimate situation.
They weren't hiding it.
Well if your absolutely trapped and have no way out… the only solution:
Acceptance. Yes you will probably end up cheating on her and only we redditers will understand from your point of view. And yes, you will always have resentment toward this woman who trapped you. But just accept that you are stuck and just live your best the way you can. Trust me, it is bullshit. It sucks. But don’t let it ruin your life, take hold of it. This is your life. Anyway you can find happiness do it. You may be grumpy towards that child but I assure you, it didn’t want life either, it was just born without control. We just can’t control these crazy things from happening but when they do happen, have acceptance and find any possible way to enjoy that moment.
Stay away from your neighbor. And fyi it's not exceptional, it's just garden variety lust.
It is absolutely possible to love someone and want to be with them, but be so terrified of commitment that you don't know if you can be with them.
Human emotions are complex, and it is possible to feel conflicting feelings all at once. Just because they conflict with each other, it doesn't mean that they are wrong or impossible.
Emotions are not black and white. There are absolutely shades of grey.
And just because you personally have never felt that way, or believe that you never will, doesn't mean that everyone thinks or feels the same way and that they are lying or being deceitful.
In the same vein, people change. Emotions change. Just because he is questioning now if he can be in a relationship, it doesn't mean he never wanted it.
I just can’t get away from the thought that I’m just getting played
This thought is a cop out, or an easy way out. It is unfair on both of you. Just because his emotions have changed, or he now has conflicting thoughts and feelings, it doesn't mean that everything he said before is a lie, or that you got “played”. It just means, that things have changed. It happens. That is life.
Nope, a woman is most fertile between early and mid twenties. It's an easy Google search.
Because it's insane advice. Kicking out someone who is very intoxicated? What person does that make you?
Apparently my small boobs make me a teen!
I know it's not the best decision but.. I do miss him, I don't love him anymore but I do miss him. A lot of the issues in our relationship would have been avoided if I just gave in and did what I was told, just say yes and all that so, for some reason, I still blame myself for how things ended up.. I guess I'm just lonely, going from 100 to 0 really took its toll on me and a part of me thinks that if we were friends I'd get at least a little bit better
I am 32 .. i need days to recover from a little too much wine. I would probably die if i drank like her.
Wait, you're telling me they're only 99.97% effective? Oh my god!
I have my own activities but they don’t take a lot of time. I work 40 hours, gym, and practice pole dancing (put in around 10 hours a week here~).
Ffs, you like dick. He doesn’t have a dick. This match is not gonna work. Plus, he’s been sneaky and lying to you for a year.
Heh, yes, I do get the sense that quite a few of my peers are pretending and suppressing their true selves. I don't mind doing that somewhat at work, but don't need to add that stress to my personal life so that I never really get to be myself.
You’re a lawyer in major city. I think it’s quite alright to read more romantic/casual books to unwind rather than Plato and Shakespeare.
Please do not grovel or beg for forgiveness for doing something that you like, especially since it is reading (no drugs, etc). I am constantly doing high stress work for my job and I love to just unwind with silly fantasy novels at night. Nothing wrong with it.
She’s cheating. End it.
Make the decision to end this friendship and never speak to this person again. If this is out of character for them, they can come to you when they want to apologize. If you're realizing this is how they've always been, move on. People who find joy and humor in the suffering of living things are very scary.
It's not your “job” to criticize your girlfriend or judge her. Nor is she supposed to act like you simply because you are dating her. Nobody's perfect, and you shouldn't expect the person you are dating to be an exception.
She is who she is. If you can't live with her (as she is), then don't.
So some people with bertolotti syndrome do have debilitating pain. I think that if you've never had this type of pain it is very hot to imagine or empathize with. Chronic pain is terrible and life changing.
Here's the thing. Your BF is likely to be this way forever. He may even need care at some point. If you are not emotionally able to care for him and possibly financially you need to get out of the relationship. Being a caretaker is extremely nude.
Personal digs? Really?
Totally understand that you don’t agree with me on the idea that getting married before 30 in this day and age is moronic. But personal digs? When and where? I assumed you were younger because you seem to have an issue with the contention that getting married young is not smart. If you’re over 30 and not married, why is what I’m saying so upsetting to you?
I don't think this is a healthy situation for you. I think you need to put off meeting his parents. Do everything possible not to get pregnant until you can trust they won't be in his life. This is a big deal. But there is no rush on meeting his folks, I wouldn't ever want to frankly.
Time to dump this one
No, it is not worth a conversation. You're still putting in more effort than he ever was, and you don't need to do that to yourself anymore. Use some of that love on yourself, pour into yourself. Get him out of your apartment. Or break your lease and move home. Get away from him without sacrificing anything else. Start journaling. Write down all of the amazing things about yourself, what you need in a partner, what you want in a partner, what you avoid in a partner. Write down the type of person your boyfriend is right now, and look at the discrepancies between his list and your others. He isn't a good partner, friend, or person. People are not cheap thrills for a serotonin rush. Get outside. Look at the clouds. Cry. Drink warm tea in the sunlight. Watch the rain drops on the window. Close your eyes and listen to the birds and sounds of traffic and normal everyday life. Drink water. Aim for a lot, every day. Take a shower when you can't do anything else. Wash away the mess and treat your body with the love it's been missing. Be intentional with all of this. Say it out loud as you're doing it if you have to: “I am drinking this water at 7am so my body can work better.” “I am resting. I feel the sun on my face, how it warms my clothes. I hear the world is still turning.” You will get through this, and you'll be changed on the other side of it. But this is not the end of you, it's just the end of this chapter. This is the part when the heroine of the story has all the odds stacked against her, and you're wondering what she's going to do to claw her way out. That's you, you're the heroine here. Maybe you don't know what the next move is, but the story will continue on regardless. I hope you can get a big hug today and a good cry. ❤️?
He’s 44 not 14. He sounds really childish and emotionally and socially stunted. Not an attractive situation for a middle aged man.
as for food, yes. for the money, he didn’t lend it to her, she voluntarily payed him back
Have one from the sperm bank. But if its not a hell yes from him, its a hell no & he shouldnt do it.
Lawyer up
What do you suggest then lmao
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Yes. Men cheat on good women all the time.
If it's working for you all then all the best. I don't think it is necessary for a serious, committed and beautiful relationship to live together or do whatever is expected from others. Your relationship is yours to decide. It's just that there exist a pattern of unhappy women staying in bad relationships because they don't think there are other ways, hence my comment. But if you are happy you do you!
That's by far the bigger problem, so what if a girl kissed him, he pushed her away, he didn't reciprocate as far as you know. He stopped it. Going out to try hot drugs without telling my partner would be far more alarming to me.
Definitely stop having sex with this asshole.
Go to the police and file a police report. He assaulted you