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Sofia, 19 y.o.
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A year in i found out he was hiding a friendship with a long term woman friend. This was weird as I would not have objected to his friendship if I was made aware. It came out that they regularly text, and she comes over to his place – in the presence of a mutual male friend -allegedly. Since then, I believe they continue the friendship though he does not mention her to me or loop me in as I respected. I suspect they still continue to text and see each other because she has called him in my presence and he answers.
Blugh the full story ?
Then you definitely can’t date her so just move on to someone else
Go no contact dude.
the life of sailors and soldiers' wife is waiting and hoping for the better. not all women can stand it. i probably wouldn't myself.
what will happen the way you are on the combat field, even as back support ? wife drama make unattentive soldiers; and unattentive soldiers make dead soldiers.
breaking up is the lesser evil.
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If this happened to me I would never be able to forget this and would always feel unstable in the relationship. Even if he apologised and took it back I would still be unsettled all the time.
Only take him back if he agrees to go to couple's counselling with you. When there, try to understand the discrepancy between why you just thought you were just 'fighting a bit more in the last few months' and he thought divorce was appropriate. Something has been going on with him in the last few months that you need to get to the bottom of and understand if there's any chance for this relationship.
Usually adults meeting at that age have zero interest in making things official via marriage. Even if they do, folks that age also don’t make snap decisions like that about a major life change. So, yeah seems fishy
Her dog needs training.
‘Thought you could take the punches’ – uh, bro, you shouldn’t be PUNCHING your partner (mentally or physically) even if they are strong enough to take it.
Maybe he’s seen the light and realized he needs to change, but he cannot do that in a relationship with you, because he is so used to treating you poorly. He will snap back to defaults the minute he loses even the tiniest bit of willpower or motivation. If he’s serious about changing he needs to remove himself from situations that might trigger his abusive behavior.
How old were you when you started dating? Math says 17
Be grateful it’s something that responds to treatment. HIV or Herpes are considerably less treatable.
I think this is probably at the heart of the issue. I think I have some really problematic and unhelpful beliefs on how men basically only care about what a woman looks like and lust after attractive women. Probably the result of growing up in a deeply misogynistic society lol. But either way I need to change these beliefs
He is NOT a KID, at 18 you are not A KID, and I didn't USE HIM as he tried flirting with me several times when we were in a relationship, to which I obviously never corresponded. At 18 you know perfectly what you are doing ans who you are doing it with, and I highly doubt he is an INNOCENT angel. You agree and disagree to things so stop invalidating the opinions of an ADULT who has fully consented to where he puts his d*
No.
What you're doing right now is white knuckling…that quitting drinking without getting help and it's almost guaranteed that you won't stay sober. My bow ex quit for 13 months like that before relapsing. It also was no fun being around him because he was still the same depressed cranky always tired guy but now he no longer had his only coping skill. It was almost worse then when he was drinking. The substance is only a small part of the problem. Addicts self medicate. So if you don't get the underlying issues addressed and treated and get therapy to learn healthy coping skills you won't stay clean. I lived alcoholic hell and recovery hell with my now ex. I'm hoping you want to quit for yourself because if not you won't stay clean either. And also understand that you can never touch alcohol again. You can be clean for years and when you take a drink again you brain will go back to where it left off when you quit and you will relapse. Alcoholics cannot drink in moderation. Get help if you're really motivated to quit.
Well I’ll say that she did not have to share that information with you. If she had bad intentions, you would not be knowing about the interaction.
Thank you.
Your friend is a pick me
my wife's mother was molested by her brother (wife's uncle). Wife didn't know her mom was molested until after her mom died. The whole family would like to pretend its not a problem or that it was in the past. She basically burned her bridges with those people. Unfortunately they might never do the right thing. Sorry for what happened to you and best of luck OP.