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Yeah I guess I may never get closure I’ve tried most things in terms of moving on but just can’t seem to thanks for the advice
If you want to have relationships with anyone you need to stop living in the same place as someone you've entered and planned several threesomes with.
Sure, you might find someone who is fine with it. But you're gonna run into many more people who are weirded out by it before you find someone who is okay with it all
Male perspective: you are right, this man is a massive creep. No well adjusted adult man of that age should be acting or talking like this. I’m half his age and I can not imagine acting like that towards an 18 year old. Much of the behaviour you describe would be inappropriate between two adults if the same age, especially if clearly one partner wasn’t into it.
Your mother should protect you from this, if she doesn’t you need to find someone who will.
I agree. However, what I meant by that is needing support groups to help understand what to do moving forward. Like what’s a healthy way to discuss this with family and still being respectful and supportive. I know people are saying to get far away from them, but this is our family- We don’t want to just not be around them anymore. So it would just help to understand how to be around them when we see sister being enabled. I hope that’s making sense.
Trust is important.
I'd say go for it if it's okay, but if neither of y'all can put trust into each other, it's set up to fail imo
OP this person is using you. She does not care for you, she’s just very comfortable now. She can use the depression excuse to get out of chores and to have you to pay for trips. Meanwhile she is not searching for treatment or offering you ANYTHING in return. She doesn’t help at home, does not give you support or even love.
Is this what you want in life? She will not change.
Good point. I think she offered, but doesn't really mean it. If he accepts and moves out she will say she will pay installmlents or something.
I'd honestly be prepared to let this go. I had a partner when I was 18/19, he went to college the weekend before I did and he dumped me 48 hours after he got there. And we had no real issues. He just went all in and wanted to start that life.
College does this weird thing where you create your existence there, and have your second life from where you were from pre college. It's like two worlds colliding.
She's going to be around this dude a lot, college is tempting because you practically all online together and it sounds to me she's creating that bond. Try to talk to her, let her know it's making you uncomfortable, but I really don't see this going any different unless something happens between her and that guy that makes them break up,she'll then probably come back to you and say she messed up and was just really excited to be away at college and an adult
Since you refuse to break up, my advice is to prepare for times 7-5,432. There came a point where that little voice in his head said 'yeehaw! I can do whatever I want because she's not going anywhere'.
Take control of your life and the life of your daughter. Stop waiting for him to leave. Otherwise, why complain about shit you refuse to do anything about?
If y’all don’t have kids leave immediately, I don’t even have time for that kinda bs to try and find out what going on behind that super shady shit
The even bigger issue is my grandma from Roger's side, who was there for me a large part of my life, is insisting that Roger walk me down the aisle.
Don't worry what she thinks. She is prioritizing her own feelings over yours on your big bay. Don't debate this with her. If she is upset, this is her problem, not yours.
Idk how to tell her and that entire side of the family that I want my dad to walk me down the aisle instead. How do I do this?
You simply inform them. If they try and debate, make it clear it is not up for discussion. Cut off the conversation if they persist.
You are the boss here. Don't let people bully you. Be strong. Learn who is really on your team.
AND he made her drive over, then stood her up. What the hell?!? She's wasting her 20s dealing with this immaturity? (FYI I also wasted a lot of good years on bad partners…so I'm speaking from experience)
Remember, OP didn’t commit these actions.
However, OP, you choose from now on out whether you want to be like your family or not. You can choose to see how overbearing and inappropriate they were and limit your contact with them, or you can put a blindfold on to these actions and say it was all your exes fault and he was judgemental.
He’s 24 met her when he was 19-20 and her too sorry but he probably already slept with her before meeting you
I don’t get the downvotes either. It’s exactly the same where I online. We are rural with a really high dog to human ratio, meaning ALL restaurants, cafes and pubs/bars obviously allow dogs. There are naturally drinking bowls. When I got for breakfast on a Saturday, my dog gets a cut plate of meats. It’s just part of the service. I would honestly not frequent a place, that doesn’t allow dogs.
We talked about it and she blocked him