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I’d say your in the beginning stages of an abusive relationship
If it happens once…
I have 2 theories
1 he knows something about her that has happened to her or maybe she is depressed and she has taken him as the comfort person. to protect her privacy he is not talking about her.
2 he feels like he met someone he trusts like a good friend (less likely theory in my opinion, due to age, no connection, no similar hobbies) and because he thinks that you'll get jealous or defensive about it, he doesn't talk about it
like you said an affair seems unlikely due to the nature of the texts and also don't listen to much to “emotional affairs” on this app since that word gets thrown around to much without care and ruined more relationships than saved. definitely talk to him and don't shoot him before you know the whole picture, let him explain everything first and afterwards judge. good luck and know therapy is always an option. especially if you want a more professional view.
Can you explain why you would ignore it?
Sorry that you look so young, but the other commenters are right. Don’t date someone who isn’t an adult. Just be patient, and try to let your true age be known to people who are older. You’ll eventually find someone 18 or over who is willing to date you.
You're appearance does not effect consent laws.
If you don't attract women your own age then you should look into being more social and approach women your own age.
Since this 17 year old frequents your job , it doesn't mean you run in the same social circles . You two are only engaging because she comes to your place of employment.
Try talking to women or men in your same age range in a social setting.
No Trust means No Relationship.
Conduct yourself accordingly.
You only have her word on all of this, you haven't see the child. There are women that pretend to be pregnant for many reasons. Don't take anything she says as true until you see it with your own eyes.
All of this could be a story she has made up. Unless you meet the child in person I would doubt everything.
I hope it's not. Guy doesn't seem very smart.
Of course it won't go away. You are forcing yourself to be with someone you don't even want to be with emotionally. Just cause in your mind you made that decision to move past the cheating, it really doesn't matter since your heart disagrees. You were betrayed when it mattered most. Nobody can have full trust in the same situation. And when the person you are going to be with for the rest of your life is someone you can't trust, then it wasn't meant to be. The only things that happen in forcing yourself to be in a situation you don't want to be in is mental health deteoriation and empty feelings.
This is how it feels even when its positive. ? If I start a project, what am I working on, whats my plan to make, what colours am I going to use (and when I dont know it makes me feel down like idk I just wanna paint or draw. I used to do it all the time) and “havent seen you paint in awhile its nice to see” and its nice, really nice…but because I watch videos while do things and they have time stamps I accidentally worked out they make a comment on what I am doing an average of every 7 minutes (median). A lot of times I wouldnt even get 30 seconds. Its nice someone cares but when someone is all over whatever I am doing within seconds it makes me not wanna do anything, even things I enjoy. 🙁
I still think I might be touchy though cause like, who doesnt want a partner actively engaged in knowing about their projects? Although it also means sneaking a gift is absolutely impossible. Its sweet they care and want to know my design process. Its just way way too much and I have said so :(. But they reply with “oh it was just this one thing…” each time.
So each individual event is fine and reasonable but the every 7 minutes is where it becomes “walking on eggshells”. My back sometimes hurts from how tense I am just from the expectation of a comment.
Sonia that what this is about? You promised her birth mom not to talk to her family? Your husband doesn’t want to include their family. But you feel like this limits your ability to be her mom since you should be able to make decisions like this??
Block them. Your going to regret meddling with that family if you accept contact.
But based on your comments, you’re probably gonna do it anyways. Don’t say you weren’t warned.
No no bad idea
It's hard for reddit not in the situation to put 1 and 1 together
You must be new, that's literally our job on reddit.
He sounds rude and inconsiderate and also irresponsible for not having the BC talk. He sounds like he's already taking you a bit for granted.
People being rude to wait staff or just treating them like servants is a big red flag for me (though the server saying “I asked how it's going” was not a path I'd have taken when I was a bartender, I'd just have side eyed the rude guy).
Sounds like you two aren't compatible.
That’s horseshit. No excuse after dating that long to pull that.
My God, I LOVE my bf, I couldn’t imagine asking my bf this let alone wanting to act on it. She doesn’t love you mate. I’m sorry, you deserve so much more than that and you WILL find it! Don’t settle
He isn't interested in a relationship. We men are simple creatures, don't try to read into it any more. If its not exactly what he said then its to protect your feelings and not worth digging into.
He has a lot of things he wants to put his limited energy into and you are not one of those things right now. Offer to keep it casual but as the age old saying goes. He is just not that into you.
I mean you outed her yourself, you understand she's a narcissist but apparently have no idea what that entails. She can never love you the way you want. You need to show yourself some respect and find someone else who will. Take some time on your own first. This drug ain't worth being hooked on.
Sorry you lost me where you said your wife was hard at a bar without you
I think it depends on her behaviour on other days. So if she messages him on every day of the week, except a Wednesday, then it would be strange. Unless their is an explanation for it. So, for example, no discussion needed about the kid.
But if there is no reasonable explanation for the lack of messages on a Wednesday, you have to question why. Does something else happen on a Wednesday? Are all the messages to other people intact? Is she actually deleting some messages on other days, and you haven't noticed? People who are actually cheating, as per your suspicion, don't only cheat once a week. There would be a constant trend of messaging. So messaging would happen on the other 6 days as well.
Right now, all you have is suspicion. Up to you what you do with it.
Good luck
It's both but the original driving force of that hate was he set his sights on you first (so he thinks), and your bf ruined that.
UPDATE 2.0 He just packed a bag and left the house without talking to me further
No, I clearly said date.
The lesson is here is he will always treat you with disrespect and indecency! So it’s not worth staying!!
Sure
Side note, I hate that in your rinky dink hometown your mom has personal sway over getting a person a job as a firefighter. Rather then it going to the absolute best choice.
That's a public service job where people's lives are at stake, there should be no nepotism.
I don't care if he told you he got 100% on every test, he is a liar, why would I trust his grades, if he can lie so easily over something so huge,
Do we as citizens want a person who is a liar as a firefighter, what if he lies to his boss about a situation where someone dies.
I think its better off for your hometown. So that's a win.
What's the town and whos your mom, I would like to enquire more about how a random mom has personal sway in a public sector, sure would love to tell the closest big cities media outlet,
pretty sure nepotism in the public sector is a crime,
I want the best firefighters saving me, not a liar with a connected mother in law.