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Consider it foreshadowing, your guy wouldn't stand up for you over something that didn't really matter.
What do you think his reaction will be when shit goes south and you need to rely on him for absolutely anything? I would expect the same behavior.
me and wife have certain boundaries and it includes not wearing inappropriate clothes. Call me Insecure I don’t care. My wife chose to accept that boundary and we have been happily married for almost 2 decades.
Just to clarify, you're not describing a boundary; you're describing a rule.
Boundary: something you decide for yourself
Rule: something you decide for someone else
If you choose not to wear certain clothing yourself because you find it disrespectful to your partner, that is a boundary. If you choose not to date people who wear certain clothing, that is a boundary. If you tell your partner what not to wear and they accept it, that is a rule.
If this is what genuinely works for you, that's your business and no one else's. But mischaracterizing this as a boundary may be why you're getting pushback. If you're tired of her cousin's objections, just walk away or change the subject when she says something. I'm not sure why this is even coming up so frequently, I can't imagine finding someone else's clothing that endlessly fascinating. This feels a bit like bait for that reason.
i understand you have no self-respect and would probably forgive him.
I really want to, I don’t even know how to do it
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I’d tell her “set up the therapy appointment then?Give me the time, date and location. Until then, I need space.” Keep repeating until she goes through with it. I doubt she will.
I’m sorry. I’d also recommend r/alanon for learning to let go and prioritize your own health and happiness. It teaches us to detach with love and no longer be beholden to those that drag us down.
I think it means he's in middle school
Why don’t you just change your sleep schedule, and get up super early? It’s what I do. My gf sleeps in late, and then I can get a good 3-5 hour gaming session in the morning. It’s a win win. But seriously, my gf is partly the same. Wants me there when she sleeps and is super sensitive to movement/light. I would accept it and adapt, and use it as leverage when she needs to accept some weird thing you have.
What is he, the orgasm police? So what if he got you off this morning, that was this morning lmfao.
You want to be intimate and you’re willing to share your body. Problem is, he wants a hole to masturbate into. He doesn’t care about your needs because he’s only worried about his.
I don’t entirely fault him. I’m very sensitive to smells and urine is definitely pe(e)ak. If you guys want to be intimate, and that’s the barrier why not just freshen up? He should be cleaning his Johnson off too, it’ll lessen the risk for UTIs on you.
Life is almost never black and white, and usually operates in the Grey. Anyone that tells you to break up or stick it out unequivocally is either pulling from personal experience or discerning too in depth from your post.
First, you all are both very young. I can’t speak to relative maturity levels. However, life experience wise, you’re both immature. Is this your only “real” relationship thus far? How about for him?
Second, have you considered his side of things? I’m not condoning bigotry towards others or his asinine commentary towards you. I’m also not saying you’ve done anything wrong. However, he loves you as you are right now. The future of you becoming different than you are currently is most likely frightening and nude to imagine for him. He may have issues with transgender people. But he may also be struggling to cope with the idea of his partner fundamentally changing. Not to mention the drastic shift in relationship dynamics, sex life, his individual conception of gender and sexuality.
Third, while it is important to plan, we have to on-line in the present. If he makes you happy while also being supportive, then it isn’t a negative situation necessarily. Unfortunately though, a lot of relationships have shelf lives. When you do have gender reassignment surgery, you might need to reevaluate or surround yourself with positive people.
At the end of the day, be yourself and surround yourself with people that support your true identity. However, if you truly care about him, it’s important to realize this is a complex situation with many different factors. He may be transphobic. Or he may just be struggling with the idea of you being different and your relationship changing. Or he may love you regardless of your gender, but no longer be attracted to you physically once you transition.
Just communicate. Involve a third party if necessary. Set boundaries. Be yourself. Strive for joy. And live! in the present.
It's junk food. Respect yourself and do better.
Even when people have kids together?
He is not a great man. Leave.
It doesn't matter that you love him dearly. Leave.
You owe yourself and your children a better life than this. Leave.
Thank you I appreciate this I am starting to feel that he is controlling. I told him I need space from him, I need to truly think about everything.
Imagine being with someone for 8 years and just now finding out they aren't lgbt tolerant.
You've entered into a long term serious monogamous relationship with a 21year old. That's heavy. She's probably torn between her love for you and wanting to be free and experience young, untethered life to the fullest.
Hence, the choices she's made.
You may not know the full extent of her involvement in the incident for many years, maybe never. But regardless, it sounds as though she's just not ready to settle down.
Just so we're clear “won't let me leave” is illegal in most countries. Depending on your local law, it may qualify as false imprisonment, forcible confinement or even kidnapping. So that's potentially legal precedent.
I don't fully understand how the police won't help you if the car is in your name. If you call the police right now, and tell them that your partner is physically restraining you and forbidding you from leaving, they will come, right? And when they do, if you then further accuse him of stealing your car keys, and showing immediate proof of whatever legal papers for the car, would the police still do nothing?
She isn't interested your intellect, your life experience, or how smart you are or what your dreams are.
She's really just interested in the basic math. How many times can 22 go in to 50.
I wouldn’t date a coworker. Also are you sure he’s single?
He has been everything to you. He has completely taken over your life and had a huge impact on your emotions. And he is a pit of despair.
I've been roughly where you are. 19 years old, horrible toxic relationship with someone who treated me like shit. Her fault, but explained by depression and anxiety to an extent. I waited so long to end it because she was everything to me. I was used to the comfort of even a toxic relationship, and afraid to be alone, fearing it would be worse.
Trust me – its not. After a bit it is so much better.
What do people in your life think about him/this relationship?