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Do you have any suggestions of these? I couldn’t find what you wrote here, but maybe I’m not searching the right terms.
Why are you still with such a toxic guy?
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This is a pretty first date topic. Who wants to be surprised that they are on a date with someone that is trans?
Have you ever discussed the cheating with your dad?
Exactly. OP – You don't want to marry her. After 5 years it's either a hell yes or hell no. Be honest with yourself and stop wasting her time. Women do not have endless reproductive cycles like men have.
Hopefully she just comes to her senses and cuts bait soon, because I doubt OP will. Why buy the cow when you're already getting the milk for free, or how the saying goes. There are no stakes for you.
It seems clear she's looking for an exclusive romantic relationship. You are not.
This is a fundamental incompatibility.
She actually didnt leave him. He broke up with her a couple years ago.
I’ve been cheated on and would feel really uncomfortable if my partner got so upset by a depiction of cheating in a fictional show that they said cheating should be a punishable crime…that’s too much. I have my own traumas and that kind of intensity for something small (cheating in media and not irl) would be off putting to me. Sometimes people just aren’t compatible because their issues clash and it’s no one’s fault. That’s not saying OP and her bf are incompatible, just generally speaking.
Not even possible imo. If she spent 4 hours a day she’d run out of stuff to clean for that long daily. I’d bet it’d be more like 2-3 hours daily most days, while hubby is likely working 8 hours a day at the least.
He’s definitely going about this in a way that sucks and from this account it seems like he might suck in general. But I don’t really think his expectations are crazy if the deal was he works and she keeps things clean.
A lot of people here will make assumptions about your behavior to paint you as a monster and your wife as a woman in distress doing what she needed to.
Fact is you were having some trouble with your mental health. Not being attentive to your wife isn’t an excuse for her to cheat.
The way I read this, it’s a good thing that events unfolded the way they did. You found out your wife isn’t supportive and will drop you at the first sign of sickness. You’re better off without her.
First, you need to get your life in order. Don’t let your anger and feelings of betrayal overwhelm your ability to improve your situation. You’re a grown man who has experienced a lot of life. Everything that has been thrown at you, you can handle. Figure out how to navigate the area on your own. Look for people who will help you understand contracts, renting, etc. in the US, maybe a local library could help. Look for similar resources near you. Get your living, working and mental health situation under control.
Then focus on raising your kids. They need you. They need you to have a decent relationship with your (soon to be ex, hopefully) wife. When you feel that anger boiling up and paralyzing you, think of how much your kids need you to figure it out.
When you’re around your wife, take solace in the fact that you aren’t attached to her anymore. If she fucks 100 guys, it doesn’t matter because you’re done with her. Think about how much your kids love her and how well she treats your kids. Let the past be the past and look forward to all the future has to offer.
Good luck man.
I legitimately wear zero makeup and have never had this issue with men. Are you basing this on things you saw on the internet?
After so many of the comments on here, I realize that there is absolutely positively no chance with him again and that I need to move on, seek professional help, and focus on myself which I am going to do.
Oh duckling, absolutely not.
He's realised that you're going to be harder to control than he though, so he's going in for some good old fashioned love bombing.
Next time it will be something else that displeadez him. And then something else.
Time to leave and find a real man
My dude she's pissing on your grass, its brown. She cares? About herself sure. “Oh yeah she's great but I'm effectively raising her.” Do you know how many people come to this website and do this “They're great except for this one unforgivable and unmanageable flaw”
Seems he's the definition of toxic masculinity. He needs to learn to use his words to express frustration and work towards positive outcomes with you, his loved one. Counseling often helps, I know, from working with pre teen and teen boys.
OP, people agreeing with you will make you feel better but it won’t help you understand your partner or yourself or make your relationship better.
It’s really understandable that you’d be frustrated. It’s great that you’re usually considerate. At the same time, she does things for you too, and you both make mistakes and you will both annoy each other sometimes, so you’re better off modeling the behavior you want in your home.
I would like empathy so I need to give it. Be the bigger person and apologize for eating something that she was looking forward to eating. It’s not ‘wrong’ that you are it, but practice empathy for yourself and then for her rather than getting defensive. You can understand the disappointment of looking forward to something and then it’s not there unexpectedly, right? Don’t get caught up in tit for tat and who’s fault it is. It’s really nice to share, but living together will kill your romance if you both start feeling “entitled” to each other’s stuff instead of appreciative.
Apologize sincerely for the starbursts because it made her day harder and try not to eat her favorite ‘bad day’ treats next time. Also ask her not to take her frustrations out on you when she’s had a bad day. If you’re modeling calm, she should apologize too.
I would want someone to tell me. And then I would put a stop to it. This is a surprise as a twin I would not enjoy. I would hate that my twin was excluded by our mutual friends. I couldn’t enjoy myself knowing my twin was excluded. It’s one thing if the twins had a separate friend group. Then yeah the twins can celebrate together at a different time. But for their mutual friend to exclude one on their birthday, it’s not right.